THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 


Challenging  a  God 


BY 


HENRY  ROSCH  VANDERBYLL 

Author  of  "The  Great  Secret,"  etc. 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER 

I     Challenging  a  God 
II     The  Polishing  of  Man 

III  Man  and  Uniyersb  as  Perceiver  or 

Consciousness 

IV  Man  and  Material  Universe  as  Fate 
V     Fate  and  the  Great  European  War 

VI  The  Origin  of  Crime 

VII  Visible  Expression  of  the  Invisible 

VIII  What  is  Truth  ? 

IX  Defending  the  Devil 

X  The  Unknowable 

XI  Conjectures 

XII  My  Life  and  My  Universe 


BOSTON 

SHERMAN,    FRENCH    &    COMPANY 
6   BEACON   STREET 


Challenging  a  God 

The  great  European  war  has  upset  the  minds  of 
religious  and  thinking  people.  How  can  the  bar- 
barity of  this  war  be  associated  with  the  idea  of  a 
loving  and  all-wise  Ruler  of  the  universe?  Christi- 
anity has  ruled  the  hearts  of  the  world  during  the 
past  nineteen  centuries.  Is  this  wholesale  slaughter 
a  proof  of  its  fallibility? 

In  the  present  volume  the  author,  denouncing 
the  behef  in  a  personal  god,  endeavors  to  show  that 
our  conception  of  the  universe  and  its  ruling  Power 
is  at  fault. 

Thomas  Paine  and  Robert  IngersoU  attacked 
superstition  and  foundationless  belief.  He,  how- 
ever, does  not  wish  to  destroy  only.  The  one 
motive  and  ambition  of  the  book  is  to  g'ive,  to  bring 
understanding.  Knowledge,  it  is  argued,  makes  us 
unconquerable;  knowledge  is  based  on  the  facts  of 
life  and  existence,  not  on  mere  belief  and  supersti- 
tion. Human  existence  is  a  fact.  The  existence  of 
a  universe  is  a  fact.  Let  us,  therefore,  says  the 
author,  study  these  facts,  proceed  from  the  known 
to  the  unknown,  and  find  that  we  are  not  mere 
puppets  thrown  hither  and  thither  by  the  whim 
and  caprice  of  a  personal  god,  but  individuals, 
having  the  power  to  create  and  to  destroy.  No 
god  is  responsible  for  happiness  or  misery;  in  each 
man's  own  soul  is  his  heaven  or  hell. 

The  book  should  prove  helpful  and  inspiring  to 
many  a  seeker  after  truth.  It  teaches  that  high 
morals  are  based  on  philosophy  and  truth,  that  the 
man  who  knows  the  truth  of  existence  cannot  be 
the  victim  of  vice  and  error,  and  it  not  only  offers  a 
fresh  solution  of  life's  mystery,  but  also  inspires  the 
reader  to  lead  a  noble  life. 

CLOTH;  12MO;  $1.00        NET 

SHERMAN,    FRENCH   &   COMPANY,    PUBLISHERS 

6    BEACON    STREET,     BOSTON,     MASSACHUSETTS 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2007  with  funding  from 

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http://www.archive.org/details/challenginggodOOvandrich 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD 


BY 

Henry  Rosch  Vanderbyll 

Author  of  '*The  Great  Secret,**  etc. 


BOSTON 

SHERMAN,  FRENCH  &  COMPANY 

1915 


COPYBIOHT,   1915 
ShEBMAK,  FbKKCH  &>  COMPANT 


GIFT 


BL2775' 
V3 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTEB  PAGE 

I     Challenging  a  God 1 

II     The  Polishing  op  Man 13 

III  Man    and    Universe    as    Perceiver    or 

Consciousness 24 

IV  Man  and  Material  Universe  as  Fate     37 
V     Fate  and  the  Great  European  War   .     48 

VI  The  Origin  op  Crime 60 

VII  Visible  Expression  op  the  Invisible    .  72 

VIII  What  is  Truth? 88 

IX  Depending  the  Devil 105 

X  The  Unknowable 116 

XI  Conjectures 128 

XII  My  Life  and  My  Universe  .      .      .      .139 


320 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

Man  has  known  many  gods.  Some  were 
mighty,  others  were  grouchy ;  others,  again, 
were  revengeful.  When  new,  undeniable  facts 
were  discovered  about  universe  *  that  did  not 
harmonize  with  man's  god-idea,  he  dismissed  the 
old  gentleman,  and  employed  another  and  more 
up-to-date  one.  In  fact,  whenever  man  changed 
his  mind  for  the  better,  he  placed  a  more  effi- 
cient and  modern  ruler  at  the  head  of  universal 
business.  Not  so  long  ago,  a  certain  civilized 
race  had  two  world-managers  in  its  employ  who 
engaged  in  everlasting  competition.  Which  of 
the  two  was  the  mightiest  has  never  been  de- 
cided. The  one  whose  name  was  Devil  had,  to 
all  appearances,  a  great  ability  to  direct  human 
lives.  I  believe,  however,  that  he  has  since 
fallen  in  disgrace.     Man's  intellect  has  grown. 

*  There  is  hardly  a  word  in  the  English  language  that 
fittingly  names  the  All,  the  bottomless  world-depth.  I 
have  used  the  word  "  universe  "  without  the  article  when- 
ever I  referred  to  the  All,  thus  suggesting  the  same 
generality  and  boundlessness  which,  for  instance,  the 
word  "life*'  suggests. 

1 


a  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

Neitheir  does  he,  to-day,  recognize  another  hell 
beside  his  own  soui-agony. 

There  exists  a  god  to-day  who  is,  I  believe, 
working  overtime.  His  efficiency,  principles, 
and  morals  are  sadly  in  need  of  improvement. 
Man  is  greater  than  he  is.  Man  advocates 
principles  and  ideals  in  his  imperfect  life  that 
are  totally  unknown  to  this  god.  Man  is  an 
admirer  of  justice,  nobility  of  character,  and 
beauty  of  soul  and  mind.  He  is  a  fervent 
spokesman  in  favor  of  freedom  and  liberty. 
None  of  these  glorious  principles  and  ideals  are 
known  to  this  god.  Perhaps  he  is  acquainted 
with  liberty  and  freedom.  If  he  is,  they  are 
meant  to  be  enjoyed  by  himself.  He  does  not 
care  to  grant  such  divine  favors  to  his  employes. 

In  view  of  the  extraordinary  fact  that  this 
ruler's  subjects  excel  their  god  in  sense  of 
beauty,  nobility,  and  justice,  I  do  not  hesitate 
to  challenge  him.  I  realize  that  it  requires  a 
great  deal  of  courage  to  do  so.  This  god, 
namely,  has  a  powerful  helpmate,  whose  name  is 
"  Public  Opinion."  This  second  god,  "  Public 
Opinion,"  is  the  worst  enemy  of  progress,  sci- 
ence, and  truth.  It  often  tempts  a  man  to  be 
untrue  to  his  convictions.  It  sometimes  keeps 
him  silent  when  he  should  speak.  Caring  more 
for  truth  and  the  soul-progress  of  humanity 
than  for  public  opinion,  I  shall  now  proceed  to 
send  my  challenge. 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD  S 

I  accuse  this  god  of  having  felt  infinitely 
bored;  of  having  passed  the  dreariness  of  the 
eternal  hours  in  creating  balls  of  mud  and  peo- 
pling them  with  beings ;  of  having  been,  and  still 
being,  the  whimsical,  playful  owner  of  human 
toys;  of  having,  knowingly,  made  these  toys 
imperfect,  through  which  imperfection  they 
often  suffer  unnameable  agonies. 

I  have  a  score  of  other  accusations  in  mind, 
which  are  less  important,  however.  The  reader 
will  see  from  the  above  that  my  chief  accusa- 
tion is  —  wilful  creation.  Such  behaviour 
seems,  besides  cruel,  rather  incomprehensible  to 
me.  I  cannot  understand  why  a  perfect  god 
should  find  an  excuse  to  create.  Is  not  perfec- 
tion all  that  is  and  ever  can  be?  Should  not 
the  creation  indicate  and  be  proof  of  the  im- 
perfection of  this  god?  Why,  his  perfection 
amounted  to  absolute  perfection  minus  his  cre- 
ation! Neither  can  I  conceive  of  perfection 
existing  beside  something  else.  Perfection  is 
necessarily  one;  perfection  cannot  be  two. 

In  defense  of  his  extraordinary  actions,  it  is 
claimed  that  this  god  merely  created  the  world 
and  you  to  manifest  his  glory.  Although  I 
must  admit  that  universe  is  a  treasure-house  of 
beautiful  marvels,  I  cannot  be  wholly  blind  to 
the  fact  that  there  is  also  a  great  deal  of  ugli- 
ness and  imperfection  to  be  found.  A  more  im- 
perfect toy  than  man  is,  is  hardly  imaginable. 


4  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

Perhaps  we  would  not  notice  this  imperfection, 
had  not  a  perfect  god  created  man.  His  very 
birth  is  a  prediction  of  his  death  and  destruc- 
tion. The  manifestation  of  this  god's  glory 
is  not  quite  perfect,  apparently.  It  would  ap- 
pear, moreover,  that  he  is  intimately  acquainted 
with  one  of  man's  most  disagreeable  faults  — 
vanity. 

I  asked  this  god,  long  ago,  to  join  the  ranks 
of  the  unemployed.  I  suppose  that  I  am  not 
taxing  my  reader's  wit  too  much  when  I  expect 
him  to  realize  by  now  that  this  God  is  not  a 
real  god.  No,  indeed,  he  is  not  real.  He  does 
not  exist  at  all:  a  reason  why  my  challenge 
is  answered  by  the  silence  of  eternal  vastness, 
only.  This  creating  god  is  but  a  creation  him- 
self. A  mental  creation  is  he,  existing  in  the 
mind  of  man.  For  it  so  happens  that  the  gods 
of  man  are  his  own  creations. 

Man  erects  his  god-structure  upon  a  change- 
able foundation.  This  foundation  is  his  own 
mentality, —  in  the  last  analysis,  perhaps,  the 
degree  of  development  of  his  own  being.  This 
foundation,  in  turn,  is  a  mixture  of  ignorance 
and  fear.  Existence-ignorance  and  fear  are 
inseparable.  When  man's  being,  intellect,  and 
knowledge  develop,  the  foundation  of  his  god- 
structure  necessarily  becomes  shaky  and  craggy. 
The  structure  itself  crumbles  into  a  pitiful,  ri- 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD  6 

diculous  heap  of  thought-ruins.  A  new  foun- 
dation is  being  laid,  containing  less  ignorance 
and,  consequently,  less  fear.  A  new  god-struc- 
ture is  being  erected,  resembling  thought-archi- 
tecture a  little  more  correctly  and  truthfully. 
And  this  god-structure  is  once  more  the  exact 
expression  of  man's  soul-development. 

The  Old  Testament  enjoyed,  no  doubt,  a 
great  reputation  about  twenty-five  centuries 
ago.  It  probably  contains  the  best  essays  writ- 
ten on  existence  in  the  year  500  to  100  b.  c.  If 
there  were  no  progress  of  soul  and  mind,  we 
might  still  think  those  essays  marvelous  and  di- 
vine. Representing,  however,  an  infinitely 
higher  soul-development  than  that  of  thirty  cen- 
turies ago,  we  cannot  refrain  from  condemning 
the  ideas  and  thoughts  uttered  in  this  much 
talked-of  book.  Our  wisdom,  naturally,  forbids 
us  to  condemn  the  author  or  the  authors  of  this 
book.  We  understand  that  the  authors  were 
not  responsible  for  the  development  of  their 
own  being.  We  understand  that  their  thoughts 
and  ideas  were  the  necessary  expressions  of  a 
certain  degree  of  man-development. 

Very  little  sound  judgment  and  common  sense 
are  required  to  realize  that  the  god-structure 
of  the  Hebrews  cannot  possibly  harmonize  with 
a  modem  thought-foundation.  The  intelligent 
reader  will  immediately  remark  that  mentioned 


6  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

structure  contains  certain  antagonistic,  if  not 
repulsive,  elements,  such  as  cruelty,  deceit, 
greed,  tyranny,  immorality,  etc. 

The  friendship  between  the  Hebrews  and 
their  god  was  remarkable.  Perhaps  it  was  not 
friendship,  after  all.  He  was  more  a  feared 
and  strictly  obeyed  leader  of  a  gang  of  brigands 
and  robbers.  The  Hebrew's  enemy  was  his 
enemy.  He  used  his  all-powerful  might  to  de- 
stroy the  foes  of  Israel.  Pestilence,  all-destruc- 
tion, and  wholesale-slaughter  were  his  favorite 
methods  of  warfare.  When  his  omnipotence 
failed  him,  he  resorted  to  deceit  and  cunning. 
The  cruelty  he  displayed  towards  his  conquered 
enemies  was  immense.  He  spared  neither 
woman  nor  fnan  nor  babe.  He  deemed  it  some- 
times necessary  to  destroy  the  helpless  dumb 
cows  and  oxen  and  asses  belonging  to  the 
enemy. 

In  return  for  his  powerful  assistance  the  He- 
brews fed  this  god  roast  lamb  and  roast  beef. 
It  sometimes  happened  that  a  father  thought 
Jehovah  to  be  in  a  grouchy  mood;  so  he  pre- 
pared to  offer  him  his  son,  in  the  hope  that 
such  sacrifice  might  change  his  disposition. 
Little  babes  were  not  entirely  spumed  by  this 
hungry  god. 

Well,  it  has  probably  become  clear  to  my 
reader  that  this  god  was  but  an  expression  of  a 
barbarian's  being  and  mentality.     The  Hebrew 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD  7 

of  those  days  must  have  been  a  veritable  pig. 
But  again  we  forgive  him.  He  was  not  know- 
ingly responsible  for  his  marked  non-develop- 
ment. 

It  is  an  interesting,  if  not  logical,  fact  that 
man  builds  his  god-structure  upwn  a  founda- 
tion of  ignorance  and  fear.  Man  is  a  hero  in 
his  earth-kingdom.  He  is  not  afraid  to  investi- 
gate the  realms  of  physics  and  chemistry.  He 
often  does  not  hesitate  to  undertake  vivisec- 
tional  experiments.  He  harnesses  and  com- 
mands the  power  of  electricity.  He  is  the 
courageous  king  of  a  visible,  tangible,  sensible 
kingdom  of  mud.  Put  to  him,  however,  the  im- 
pertinent little  questions :  "  Why  ?  How  ? 
Whence.?  Whither?"  Mention  the  name  of 
God!  Command  him  to  enter  the  realm  of  the 
Infinite!  You  shall  see  that  his  answer  is 
shaped  in  the  form  of  an  excuse.  Yes,  you  shall 
notice  a  glimmer  of  fear  in  his  eye.  Very  nat- 
urally, for  he  does  not  know.  And  is  there 
a  greater  fear-creating  power  than  not-know- 
ing.? 

The  unexplainable  known  fills  the  human 
heart  with  fear.  I  invite  my  reader  for  a  walk 
in  the  still  night.  The  star-studded  depths  of 
universe  are  brooding  in  silence.  Yonder 
planet,  with  its  calm  flow  of  light,  is  one  of  our 
immediate  neighbors  —  merely  several  million 
miles  distant.     Beyond  that  planet,  several  bil- 


8  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

lion  miles  distant,  rolls  our  immediate  star- 
neighbor.  Beyond  this  star,  infinitely  far  away, 
roU  other  stars.  Beyond  the  latter  shine  thou- 
sands of  others.  And  suppose  that  we  have  at 
last  reached  the  ultimate  star;  what  then? 
Then  there  is  still  infinite  space  to  be  reckoned 
with.  It  rolls  on,  rolls  on,  rolls  on  .  .  .  until 
I  remember  that  I  am  six  feet  tall,  that  I 
weigh  170  pounds,  that  I  shall  probably  live 
another  forty  or  fifty  years.  The  rolling-on 
of  infinite  space  suddenly  ceases.  And  I  am 
ceasing  this  awful  meditation  in  the  still  night. 
For  that  unexplainable  known  immensity  over- 
shadows my  soul  with  the  very  essence  of  fear. 
I  shall  be  glad  to  receive  any  answer  to  that 
universal  puzzle  that  can  satisfy  my  mental  un- 
rest. Whether  it  shall  satisfy  me,  naturally 
depends  upon  the  quality  of  my  mind  or  my 
being.  But  an  answer  I  must  have,  even  if  the 
answer  should  be  that  there  is  no  answer. 

Man  has  ever  invented  answers  to  the  prob- 
lems of  existence  that  satisfied  his  particular 
degree  of  mentality.  Many  of  these  answers 
still  live  as  ancient  myths  and  legends  in  to- 
day's literature.  One  of  the  most  ingenious 
and  childish  explanations  of  a  natural  phenom- 
enon was  given  by  the  Teutons,  more  than 
twenty  centuries  ago.  The  thunderstorm  was 
the  unexplainable  known  until  a  Teuton-genius 
furnished  a  satisfactory  solution  to  the  prob- 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD  9 

lem.  He  claimed  that  their  god,  Wodan,  was 
rather  displeased.  His  angry  frown  was  dis- 
tinctly noticeable  in  the  black,  towering  thun- 
der-clouds. He  drove  his  chariot  over  the 
bridge  of  heaven  (the  rainbow).  One  could 
hear  the  loud  rattle  of  the  vehicle's  wheels  (the 
thunder).  One  could  see  the  sparks  of  fire  fall 
from  his  stallions'  feet  (the  lightning).  This 
explanation  was  satisfactory  to  the  Teuton- 
mind.  Had  they  been  acquainted  with  the  laws 
of  sound,  light,  and  electricity,  this  explana- 
tion of  a  phenomenon  of  nature  would  never  have 
been  given. 

I  do  not  know  who  gave  that  Paradise-solu- 
tion of  the  problem  of  man's  origin.  It  is 
rather  good,  I  think,  considering  the  fact  that 
it  was  written  several  thousand  years  ago.  I 
do  not  think  it  necessary  to  remark  that  a  man 
with  a  twentieth-century-mind  does  not  read  it 
in  any  other  manner  than  he  would  a  myth. 

I  begin  to  realize  that  the  above  utterings 
may  be  understood  to  be  an  attack  upon  believ- 
ers of  a  certain  religion.  I  hasten  to  deny 
such  accusation.  I  do  not  intend  to  attack  any 
individual,  no  matter  to  what  creed,  belief,  or 
denomination  he  may  be  espoused.  I  do  not 
even  wish  to  crush  the  belief  of  the  believers 
who  have  nothing  else  to  believe.  They  should 
have  their  belief.  Their  particular  soul-devel- 
opment demands  it,  no  doubt.     Nay,  my  argu- 


10  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

ments  are  meant  for  the  individual  who  believes 
because  public  opinion  and  public  belief  would 
force  him  to  do  so.  His  belief  I  condemn !  His 
lack  of  moral  courage  I  condemn !  Him  I  wish 
to  see  free!  Free  from  prejudice,  superstition, 
ignorance,  and  the  selfish  motives  that  induce 
him  to  think  as  others  do.  I  wish  to  convince 
him  that  the  claim  of  authority  on  matters  re- 
lating to  the  secret  of  existence  is  an  unsur- 
passed expression  of  arrogance.  For  his  bene- 
fit, I  wish  to  tear  down  that  shaky  god-structure, 
the  composition  of  which  is  old  and  worn  out. 
Let  me  scatter  its  fragments  in  the  four  direc- 
tions of  the  winds  of  heaven !  Let  me  rebuild 
according  to  a  more  modern  style !  Let  me  re- 
build with  the  knowledge  that  some  day  a  more 
advanced  being  shall  tear  down  this  very  struc- 
ture, and  build  a  better  one ! 

There  exists,  I  am  convinced,  no  higher  re- 
ligion than  knowledge.  I  cannot  understand 
why  knowledge  should  not  be  preferable  to 
vagaries,  superstition,  and  fanaticism.  Knowl- 
edge is  not  arrogant.  It  does  not  claim  to  re- 
alize more  than  it  really  knows.  It  courage- 
ously admits  its  ignorance.  Infinitely  more 
valuable  is  one  average  brain  of  knowledge  than 
a  piety-stricken  church-crowd. 

To  know  is  to  be  fearless.  To  merely  partly 
understand  the  marvel  of  your  own  soul  is  to  be 
a  god.     Knowing  the  laws  of  human  being,  you 


CHALLENGING  A  GOD  11 

readily  forgive  your  fellow-man.  Knowing  the 
"  why  "  and  "  how  "  of  everything,  you  are  able 
to  bear  pain  and  misfortune.  Knowledge  makes 
you  unconquerable. 

Spirituality  does  not  consist  of  begging  and 
worshipping  and  praising  the  Lord,  as  many 
people  would  think.  To  the  degree  you  under- 
stand this  existence-marvel,  to  such  degree  are 
you  spiritual.  The  spiritual  man  does  not  fear 
or  beg  or  praise.  He  knows  !  He  has  read  a 
few  pages  from  the  bopk  of  secrets.  He  is 
standing  on  a  solid,  indestructible  rock  —  im- 
movable, even  in  an  ocean  of  eternity.  This 
rock  is  the  rock  of  knowledge.  Let  the  tempest 
howl,  the  storm  beat:  he  knows!  He  is  their 
master:  he  knows!  They  cannot  affect  him: 
he  knows !  His  being  is  aglow  with  the  inspira- 
tion of  living:  he  knows! 

Nay,  I  never  knew  a  spiritual  man  to  crawl 
and  beg  before  a  whimsical  ruler.  Piety  is  an 
admission  of  your  worthlessness.  The  spiritual 
man  knows  the  value  of  his  being.  You  offer 
worship  in  exchange  for  your  master's  good  be- 
haviour. The  spiritual  man  knows  that  every- 
thing and  everybody  behaves,  provided  he,  him- 
self, behaves. 

I  love  the  man  who  is  aware  of  the  infinite 
value  of  his  own  being.  Do  not  think  him  con- 
ceited. He  who  knows  is  unconquerable  and 
yet  most  humble.     He  cares  little  for  his  self 


12  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

and  its  desires.  He  is  brave  enough  to  sacri- 
fice. He  is  sufficiently  unselfish  to  bear  pain 
and  misfortune.  He  cannot  be  broken ;  he  can- 
not be  crushed.  Why,  he  is  too  unselfish,  and 
he  knows  too  much ! 

From  out  of  the  dim  haze  of  the  future  looms 
a  god:  THE  KNOWING  man!! 


II 

THE  POLISHING  OF  MAN 

I  never  can  remember  in  which  year,  before 
or  after  Christ,  a  big  battle  was  fought,  or  a 
king  was  bom,  or  a  new  religion  was  founded. 
My  lack  of  interest  is,  most  probably,  the  cause 
of  my  forget  fulness.  I  care  little  for  the  in- 
numerable little  happenings  of  the  past.  I  do 
not  think  that  history's  purpose  is  to  teach  us 
dates  and  details  of  murders  and  conquests. 
History,  as  a  whole,  is  teaching  us  but  one 
thing.  And  this  one  thing  is  not  always  known 
to  be  the  most  interesting  revelation  in  the  rec- 
ords of  past  events.  We  are  often  more  in- 
terested to  know  the  number  of  wives  and  mis- 
tresses of  King  Henry  the  Eighth  than  to  know 
that  he  was  a  selfish  man.  That  the  Catholic 
Church  burned  and  tortured  "  unbelievers  "  is 
quite  remarkable,  considering  it  does  not  do  so 
to-day.  That  such  deeds  were  damnable  and 
are  unknown  to-day,  and  that  something  must 
have  happened  to   change  people's  viewpoints, 

is  of  less  interest.     Yet  is   this   uninteresting 
13 


14.  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

side  of  history  the  most  important  one.  It 
teaches  us  that  man  is  subject  to  growth.  And 
I  believe  that  this  simple  fact  allows  us  to  pene- 
trate a  little  deeper  into  the  darkness  of  ex- 
istence-mystery. 

From  the  reports  of  biologists,  geologists, 
evolutionists,  and  philosophers  in  general,  we 
are  able  to  create  a  vague  mental  picture  of  the 
ancient  man.  We  watch  him  roam  the  forest, 
unshaven,  uncombed,  totally  ignorant  of  the 
existence  of  Paris  garters  and  lavender  socks. 
His  chief  business  is  to  hunt  for  food.  Yes,  his 
chief  business  is  to  satisfy  his  self.  We  stand 
appalled  at  his  unpolished  manners  toward  the 
gentle  sex.  The  art  of  paying  compliments  to 
fair  womanhood  is  sadly  foreign  to  him.  He 
actually  captures  her  by  sheer  brute  force.  His 
self  desires  her ;  she  should  be  his. 

Of  this  man  we  can  merely  remark  that  he 
exists.  Existence  is  his  only  occupation.  It  is 
not  so  much  that  existence  which  is  a  part  of 
one  mighty  whole-existence.  His  existence  is 
self-centered,  absolutely  individual.  He,  the 
individual,  exists  before  and  above  anything  or 
anybody  else.  Let  the  stars  shine  in  the  sky- 
depths  if  they  wish!  He  sees  them  without 
being  conscious  of  them.  They  do  not  stimu- 
late his  thought.  His  self-absorption  envelops 
him  in  a  veil  of  darkness  that  separates  him  from 
an  outside  universe.     Of  all  things  and  beings 


THE  POLISHING  OF  MAN  15 

he  exists  first.  The  balance  of  fathomless  uni- 
verse is  mere  decoration.  It  very  conveniently 
fills  up  the  remaining  void. 

From  this  pit  of  soul-darkness,  man  arises 
slowly  as  the  years  roll  by.  We  shall  take  a 
long  journey  on  the  wings  of  time,  and  visit 
the  man  of  the  Middle  Ages.  We  immediately 
notice  that  the  centuries  have  wrought  a  change 
in  the  being  of  man.  He  is  not  so  intensely  ab- 
sorbed in  self.  He  is  actually  inclined  to  take 
interest  in  other  things  beside  his  self.  He  even 
wonders  what  sort  of  thing  this  huge  dwelling- 
place  of  his  may  be.  He  does  not  know  whether 
to  call  it  flat  or  round.  One  daring  thinker 
claims  that  the  earth  is  round  and  revolves  upon 
an  axis. 

Taken  as  a  whole,  this  man  is  devoting  some 
of  his  attention  to  art,  education,  and  science. 
He  is  laying  the  crude  foundations  for  a  pres- 
ent university  and  laboratory.  But  although 
his  self-centeredness  is  markedly  less  than  that 
of  the  ancient  man,  he  still  considers  his  self  to 
be  the  most  important  factor  of  existence.  We 
see  him  play  the  role  of  king  and  nobleman. 
The  king's  word  is  law.  He  who  displeases  him 
or  disregards  his  wishes  is  uncertain  of  his  life. 
His  desire  to  aggrandize  his  kingdom  must  be 
fulfilled  at  any  cost.  What  matters  the  death 
of  thousands  of  his  subjects?  Instead  of  con- 
quering with  the  iron  muscle  of  yore,  he  slays 


16  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

with  the  spear  or  with  gunpowder;  sometimes, 
also,  with  reason  and  intellect. 

We  see  this  man  play  the  role  of  priest.  He 
commands  the  world  to  obey  his  word.  Let  no 
one  obstruct  his  path!  Let  no  one  dare  utter 
a  thought  or  a  conviction  that  might  displease 
him!  Torture  and  persecution  are  the  well 
deserved  penalties  of  such  wickedness. 

Unlike  the  brute  man,  then,  this  man  of  the 
Middle  Ages  is  finding  distraction  in  an  out- 
side universe.  He  has  partly  broken  through 
the  wall  of  darkness  that  envelops  intense  self- 
centeredness.  He  is,  consequently,  receptive  to 
impression  and  knowledge.  We  are  glad,  how- 
ever, to  hurry  away  from  him.  His  highly  self- 
centered  being  expresses  itself  through  intense 
selfishness  or  thought  of  self. 

Man  of  the  twentieth  century!  How  favor- 
ably does  man  of  to-day  compare  with  his  an- 
cestors !  His  self-cent  eredness  is  infinitely 
less.  This  fact  is  revealed  by  his  greater  gen- 
erosity, his  broad-mindedness,  and  his  deep 
knowledge.  He  busies  himself  with  innumerable 
things.  The  isolation-wall  of  self-absorption 
is  nothing  less  than  a  heap  of  ruins.  His  being 
soars  the  depths  of  universe.  Thought  of  self 
has  been  partly  conquered  by  thought  of  oth- 
ers and  thought  of  universe.  He  is  not  devot- 
ing his  entire  life  to  his  self.  Part  of  it  is 
spent  away  from  self.     Were  it  not  for  this  fact, 


THE  POLISHING  OF  MAN  17 

he  would  not  be  able  to  make  his  discoveries 
about  universe.  He  is  receptive  to  impression 
and  knowing.  The  man-seed  has  penetrated 
through  its  prison-house  of  darkness.  The 
man-tree  is  towering  towards  the  sky,  catching 
the  breezes  of  eternity,  making  a  first  attempt 
to  embrace  the  All. 

Is  it  necessary  to  furnish  the  proofs  that  man 
of  to-day  is  infinitely  less  absorbed  in  self  than 
man  of  a  century  ago?  I  may  mention  the 
many  charitable  institutions,  the  free  schools 
and  hospitals.  And  what  might  Nero  have 
thought  of  a  society  for  preventing  cruelty  to 
animals  ?  What  would  Napoleon  have  answered 
to  the  modem  statement  that  war  is  a  crime? 
What  might  the  j>eople  of  two  centuries  ago 
have  thought  about  democracy?  The  noiseless 
flap  of  time's  wings  has  wrought  an  astonishing 
change  in  the  being  of  man! 

In  spite  of  our  many  accusations  against  man, 
we  are  compelled  to  admit  that  he  has  been 
improving  continuously.  We  are  forced  to 
speak  of  a  growth  in  man.  He  has  been 
guided  by  the  irresistible  hand  of  progress. 
This  is  the  great  fact  history  is  teaching  us. 
It  could  not  possibly  reveal  a  more  interesting 
fact.  To  know  that  man's  being  is  growing  is 
to  know  something  about  the  very  secret  of  ex- 
istence. 

The  nature  of  the  growth  in  man  is  a  pe- 


18  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

culiar  one.  It  is  undeniably  the  growth  of  un- 
selfishness. Study  your  history ;  you  shall  find 
it  to  be  so.  Selfishness  and  generosity,  how- 
ever, are  but  expressions  of  man's  being.  The 
very  soul  or  being  of  man  has  changed  in  the 
course  of  time.  There  was  a  time  when  it  was 
almost  completely  absorbed  in  itself.  To  use 
a  modern  expression :  it  was  intensely  conscious 
of  self,  or  self-conscious.  I  lack  the  words  and 
the  expressions  that  should  convey  my  meaning. 
As  an  illustration,  I  may  mention  the  rose  as 
being  a  lovely  expression  of  intense  self-con- 
sciousness. It  is  entirely  wrapped  up  in  its 
own  existence.  It  is  only  aware  of  the  sun- 
beams, the  raindrops,  and  the  night-time,  which 
make  up  its  outside  universe.  And  most  prob- 
ably this  awareness  is  not  a  realized  one. 

The  intensely  self-conscious  man  of  yore  was 
greatly  absorbed  in  his  individual  existence. 
His  awareness  of  self,  however,  was  a  conscious 
or  realized  awareness.  It  erected  an  unsur- 
mountable  wall  between  his  being  and  the  out- 
side world.  We  might  state  that  he  was  not 
All-conscious.  We  must  not  imagine,  however, 
that  he  could  possibly  change  this  attitude  of 
indiff^erence  towards  the  universe.  This  change 
could  only  be  effected  through  the  change  of  his 
being,  which  was  subject  to  natural  growth. 

History,  then,  teaches  that  the  self-con- 
sciousness  of  man's  being  has  become  less  in- 


THE  POLISHING  OF  MAN  19 

tense.  This  fact  is  revealed  by  the  growth  of 
unselfishness  —  an  expression  of  the  growth  of 
All-consciousness.  We  are  liable  to  pay  little 
attention  to  this  peculiar  growth  in  man.  We 
take  it  as  a  matter  of  fact.  We  speak  of 
progress  and  civilization,  as  if  such  things  were 
not  remarkable.  Civilization,  however,  is  but  a 
visible  expression  of  man's  being.  Yes,  it  ulti- 
mately depends  upon  the  degree  of  self-con- 
sciousness of  the  individual's  being.  A  high 
degree  of  civilization  belongs  to  a  high  degree 
of  soul-development.  I  do  not  take  this  growth 
and  development  of  man's  being  as  a  matter  of 
fact.  It  is  highly  astonishing  and  interesting. 
It  is  one  of  the  most  important  hints  given  us  to 
solve  another  part  of  the  immense  secret. 

We,  to-day,  may  be  quite  satisfied  with  the 
high  degree  of  development  of  man's  being. 
This  does  not  prevent  it  from  growing.  Look- 
ing around  in  our  life  of  to-day,  we  must  admit 
that  it  is  thickly  strewn  with  expressions  of 
deep  self-consciousness.  Let  us  be  truthful 
about  it!  It  is  wise  and  generous  to  admit  our 
own  imperfection.  It  is  foolish  and  selfish  to 
refuse  to  notice  it. 

Man,  to-day,  is  still  greatly  absorbed  in  self. 
I  may  mention  here  that  this  self-consciousness 
is  human  existence  itself.  Were  it  not  for  this 
fundamental  quality  of  man's  being,  we  should 
not  be  here  writing  about  him.     But  there  exist 


20  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

degrees  of  self-consciousness.  A  low  degree  be- 
longs to  the  brute  man's  being;  a  higher  de- 
gree to  the  noble  individual.  To-day  there  still 
exist  expressions  of  a  low  degree  of  man-devel- 
opment. A  few  of  these  expressions  are  vanity, 
ignorance,  orthodoxy,  injustice,  greed,  graft, 
murder,  war,  etc.  Democracy,  as  a  form  of 
government,  is  the  highest  expression  known  of 
advanced  soul-development.  Broadmindedness, 
generosity,  universal  knowledge  are  other  such 
expressions. 

That  man  is  primarily  aware  of,  and  ab- 
sorbed in,  self  is  easily  discovered  by  studying 
our  own  being.  I  have  often  wondered  where 
the  haunts  of  sorrow  might  be  located.  I  have 
come  to  the  extraordinary  conclusion  that  both 
sorrow  and  happiness  dwell  under  the  same  roof. 
I  have  asked  myself  the  simple  questions: 
"  Who  is  sorrowful  ?  Who  is  happy  ?  "  The 
answer  is :  "  I  am."  One  cannot  deny  the  fact 
that  sorrow  finds  its  birth  in  "  me,"  that  self- 
centered  something  that  constitutes  man's  being. 
The  causes  of  our  sufferings  are,  to  all  appear- 
ances, outside  influences,  happenings,  and  con- 
ditions. Is  it  not  remarkable,  however,  that 
one  individual  is  crushed,  another  strengthened 
and  purified,  by  the  same  sorrowful  experience? 
If  outside  influences,  then,  assault  us,  their  ef- 
fect is  nevertheless  determined  by  the  quality  of 
our  being.     The  flame  cannot  have  its  destruc- 


THE  POLISHING  OF  MAN  21 

tive  effect  without  an  object  upon  which  to  act. 
A  piece  of  paper  is  affected  by  a  burning 
match;  a  stone  is  not.  The  quality  of  the  ob- 
ject acted  upon  is  of  as  much  importance  as  the 
flame  itself. 

All  sorrow  is  caused  by  loss.  When  I  ar- 
dently desire  possession  or  the  realization  of  a 
wish,  I  am  liable  to  suffer  if  my  desire  is  not  ful- 
filled. In  my  ignorance  I  may  curse  myself  and 
the  world.  I  may  wonder  why  a  Supreme  Being 
did  not  grant  my  request.  I  may  think  this 
earth  a  miserable  dwelling-place  for  man.  But 
the  world  moves  on  as  silently  as  ever;  the  sun 
rises  and  sets  as  it  did  yesterday;  life's  busi- 
ness proceeds  in  the  same  regular  manner. 
Nothing  is  being  affected  except  my  "  me,"  my 
self.  The  disturbance  is  purely  local.  That 
awareness  of  self,  that  self-consciousness,  is 
really  the  cause  of  my  sorrow.  I  cannot  con- 
scientiously accuse  a  god,  or  my  fellow-man,  of 
being  the  author  of  my  mental  pain.  If  I  am 
honest  with  myself,  I  shall  admit  that,  in  last 
analysis,  the  quality  of  my  own  being  determines 
the  disastrous  effect  of  sorrow. 

That  which  is  painful  to  you  may  not  be 
painful  to  me.  Different  qualities  of  being  ex- 
pressing different  desires,  your  loss  may  not  be 
a  loss  in  my  opinion.  But  each  individual  is 
liable  to  lose,  or  be  disappointed  in,  something. 
The  intensity  of  our  pain  is  determined  by  our 


22  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

degree  of  selfishness ;  ultimately,  by  the  degree 
of  self-consciousness  of  our  being. 

Should  we  surround  our  impressive  being 
with  a  wall  of  ice-cold  indifference?  Should  we 
be  altogether  feelingless?  I  do  not  think  this 
possible.  But  even  if  it  were  possible,  we  would 
not  destroy  our  selfishness.  No  man  ever  has, 
or  ever  will,  evolve  beyond  sorrow  or  pain.  Even 
a  Christ  emptied  a  sorrow-filled  soul  when  he  ut- 
tered these  words :  "  Lord,  my  Lord,  why  hast 
Thou  forsaken  me?  "  But  man  may  evolve  to 
a  degree  of  being  that  enables  him  to  hear  pain. 
The  unselfish  man  is  capable  of  bearing  sorrow. 
The  intensely  self-conscious  man,  who  values 
his  own  being  above  anything  or  anybody  else,  is 
the  one  who  weeps  and  whines  when  disaster 
overtakes  him.  The  unselfish  man  "  grins  and 
bears."  We  should  not  pay  too  much  atten- 
tion to  the  ever-crying  voice  of  our  "  me." 
We  should  not  sympathize  too  much  with  our 
self.  Such  attitude  will  prevent  us  from  con- 
quering. 

It  is  a  peculiar  fact  that  man  never  searches 
his  own  being  for  the  solution  of  an  existence- 
problem.  I  consider  it  my  special  duty  to  ac- 
quaint him,  through  the  pages  of  this  little  book, 
with  the  almost  incomprehensible  value  of  his 
being.  It  is  a  powerful  cause.  It  answers 
many  a  pertinent  question  relating  to  the  great 


THE  POLISHING  OF  MAN  23 

secret.     How  powerful  man's  being  is,  I  actu- 
ally dare  not  utter  in  so  many  words. 

I  realize  the  hopelessness  of  asking  a  Supreme 
Being  to  enlighten  me  on  subjects  relative  to 
the  mystery  of  existence.  The  only  answer  I 
ever  received  was  the  silence  of  fathomless  uni- 
verse. I  received  my  knowledge  through  ob- 
servation and,  principally,  through  studying 
my  own  being.  That  existence  is  such  a  com- 
plete mystery  is  partly  due  to  man's  tendency  to 
seek  the  cause  of  certain  effects  in  the  depths  of 
the  heavens.  He  is  ever  groping  in  the  clouds 
and  the  imagined,  but  unknown,  realms  of  a  Su- 
preme Ruler.  I  advise  him  to  begin  his  study 
with  his  self.     The  results  might  be  startling. 


Ill 


MAN  AND  UNIVERSE  AS  PERCEIVER 
OR  CONSCIOUSNESS 

I  know  of  no  more  puzzling,  astonishing 
something  than  the  "  me  "  that  moves  the  body 
of  man.  I  am  inclined  to  believe  that  alto- 
gether too  much  attention  has  been  paid  to  that 
automaton  of  flesh  and  blood  —  man's  physical 
appearance.  The  thinker  of  thoughts,  the  re- 
ceiver of  impressions,  the  perceiver  of  objects, 
the  dreamer  of  dreams,  the  self-centered,  self- 
conscious  me  has  been  shamefully  ignored.  Hav- 
ing discovered  the  self-loving  quality  of  this 
me,  let  us  see  what  other  business  it  has  in  this 
universe. 

I  must  yet  find  two  people  who  receive  the 
same  impression  from  that  orderly  chaos,  visi- 
ble universe.  True,  we  do  not  see  objects  and 
beings  diff^erently,  but  we  feel  them  differently. 
We  are  impressed  differently  by  them.  We  are 
in  a  different  manner  conscious  of  them. 

Although  that  glorious  heap  of  things  that 
make  up  visible  universe  remains  forever  fixed 
in  form  and  shade,  its  impression  upon  the  indi- 
24 


CONSCIOUSNESS  25 

vidual  may  be  changeable.  Why,  even  the  most 
carefree  and  thoughtless  man  admits  that  one 
should  smile  in  order  to  see  that  smile  reflected 
upon  the  world.  The  most  simple-minded  crea- 
ture will  hear  the  world  sob  in  answer  to  the 
cry  of  grief  in  his  own  heart.  Whence  that 
changeability  of  impression-power  with  which 
universe  appears  to  be  endowed  ?  Surely  a  rose 
is  ever  a  rose,  a  star  is  ever  a  star,  the  world  is 
ever  the  world.  The  luminous  glory  of  Venus 
is  the  same  to-day  as  it  was  yesterday.  The 
perfume  of  the  rose  shall  not  be  sweeter  to-mor- 
row than  it  is  at  present.  But  it  would  appear 
that  that  subtle,  incomprehensible  me,  peeping 
through  or  from  behind  its  appearance  of  form 
and  flesh-color,  is  capable  of  feelingy  perceiving 
universe  to-day  in  this  manner,  to-morrow  in  a 
diff^erent  one.  Although  the  same  flower-cov- 
ered earth,  the  same  star-filled  universe,  con- 
front the  individual,  he  may  yet  feel  them  dif- 
ferently at  different  moments.  Still  more  as- 
tonishing is  the  fact  that  each  individual  car- 
ries his  own  individual  impression  of  the  world 
in  his  heart.  One  would  almost  be  inclined  to 
state  that  universe  does  not  lie  unfurled  without 
the  bodily  observation-tower  of  the  human  me, 
but  that  it  exists  withm  mey  and  is  hued  by  its 
individual  colors. 

I  have  often  wished  that  I  might  be  able  to 
change  my  me  or  personality,  be  it  only  for  a 


26  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

few  moments,  into  that  of  others.  I  might 
then  see  —  nay,  not  see,  but  feel,  be  conscious 
of —  the  world  in  the  same  manner  as  other 
individuals  are  conscious  of  it.  Existence 
would  then,  no  doubt,  be  a  wonderful  revelation ! 
We  might  then,  perhaps,  comprehend  more 
clearly  the  why  and  how  of  all  that  is. 

There  is  but  one  universe  to  be  seen,  but 
there  are  as  many  universes  to  be  felty  perceived, 
as  there  are  human  beings  to  feel  or  perceive  it. 
There  is,  for  instance,  the  man  whose  chief  am- 
bition is  to  satisfy  the  selfish  clamor  of  self. 
He  is  sometimes  known  by  the  name  of  material- 
ist, and  is  generally  styled  the  selfish  man. 
Walking  through  the  still  night,  he  may  see  the 
stars  above  his  head,  but  he  is  barely  conscious 
of  them.  No  mysterious,  beautiful  globes  roll 
through  infinite  depths  for  him !  Nothing  rolls 
—  except  his  silver,  shining  dollar.  There  is 
music  in  the  air  of  night.  The  trees  rustle,  the 
leaves  and  the  flowers  lisp  an  incomparable  lul- 
laby. Yet  does  this  individual  walk  in  this  im- 
mensity of  unnamable  beauty  —  deaf  to  all 
sound,  unconscious  of  the  musical  breath  of 
slumbering     earth.     No     tender,     soul-stirring 

music  exists  for  him except  the  ringing  of 

the  golden  coin,  except  the  noisy  brass-band  of 
his  selfish  me !  What  should  he  know,  this  man, 
about  existence,  universe  or  God?  In  order  to 
gain  knowledge,  one  should  pave  the  way  by 


CONSCIOUSNESS  27 

thinking.  And  all  his  thought  is  centered  in 
his  self,  and  all  existence  is  rooted  in  himself, 
and  all  the  universe  is  redu<;ed  to  the  pin-point 
of  his  selfish  self ! 

Yes,  there  exists  a  universe  for  this  individual, 
—  his  universe,  in  fact.  The  world  does  not 
really  exist  without,  but  within,  the  limits  of 
his  self.  As  he  is,  thus  is  the  world.  Uni- 
verse has  a  certain  value,  a  significance,  solely 
reserved  for  him,  for  the  reason  that  his  per- 
sonality, or  consciousness,  or  me  is  what  it  is. 
It  was  Schopenhauer  who  taught  the  world  that 
everything  exists  as  an  idea  in  the  soul  of  man ! 

There  is  the  individual  known  to  us  as  the 
poet-philosopher.  I  do  not  refer  to  the  so- 
called  poet  whose  world  is  sugar-sweet  and 
whose  heart  is  inflamed  with  vaudeville-cour- 
age. I  am  hinting  at  the  man  who  is  a  poet  as 
a  consequence  of  his  deep  insight  into  the  mar- 
vel of  existence  —  a  man  like  Emerson,  for  ex- 
ample. The  being  of  such  a  man  differs  widely 
from  that  of  the  materialist  or  selfish  man.  The 
poet-philosopher  is  altogether  less  self-centered. 
On  the  whole,  his  attention  is  diverted  from  his 
self.  His  being  is  not  so  thickly  wrapped  in 
the  cloak  of  self-absorption.  It  is,  conse- 
quently, receptive  to  knowledge  and  impression. 
There  is  the  mystery  of  the  All  to  be  unravelled ! 
There  is  the  beauty  of  the  world  to  be  felt  and 
analyzed!     Many  things  have  their  being  be- 


28  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

side  his  self.  There  is  struggling  humanity,  for 
instance.  His  fellow-man  is  ignorant  of  some 
of  the  laws  of  life  that  have  been  revealed  to 
him.  He  must  teach  them  —  how  to  live,  how 
to  conquer  misery,  how  to  be  happy  in  this 
world  of  marvel  and  mystery.  What  a  beaute- 
ous world,  this  world  of  his!  If  there  exists 
a  god  to  him,  his  name  spells  beauty.  If  his 
god  has  attributes,  they  are  power,  wisdom,  and 
universality,  which  attributes  are  beautiful  in 
themselves.  Beauty,  wherever  his  eye  may 
roam!  Wild  beauty  in  the  roar  of  the  tem- 
pestuous ocean;  rugged,  rough  beauty  in  the 
boulder-strewn  mountain-wilderness ;  tender,  sad 
beauty  in  the  soul-wrung  composition  of  a 
Chopin;  pure  beauty  in  the  sun-kissed  lily;  di- 
vine, unspeakable  beauty  in  the  soul  that  climbs 
from  out  of  the  depths  of  ignorance,  sin,  and 
sorrow  into  the  light  of  knowing  and  content- 
ment! 

Indeed,  there  exists  a  paradise-hued  universe 
to  this  individual.  It  is  altogether  different 
from  that  of  which  the  materialist  is  conscious. 
Is  universe  itself  the  cause  of  this  extraor- 
dinary fact?  Seek  the  answer  in  the  being  of 
man!  Find  the  solution  of  many  a  life-prob- 
lem in  man  himself !  When  at  last  you  turn  dis- 
gustedly from  the  fathomless  world-depth  that 
ever  answers  with  a  mocking  silence,  you  are 
compelled  to  study  your  self.     In  your  self,  in 


CONSCIOUSNESS  29 

your  me,  slumbers  many  a  secret  answer.  And 
this  poet-philosopher  is  conscious  of  a  beautiful 
universe  because  his  being  represents  a  certain 
quality  of  soul-development  that  is  the  cause  of 
a  distinctly  marked  impression.  He,  himself, 
is  beauty,  and  this  beauty  reflects  upon  the 
world  perceived.  Universe,  in  fact,  exists  as  a 
beautiful  idea  in  his  soul  or  consciousness. 

There  exist,  then,  as  many  universes  as  there 
are  human  beings.  As  I  am,  thus  is  the  world. 
Universe  exists  as  an  idea  in  my  conscious 
being. 

In  view  of  the  above,  we  are  not  surprised  to 
find  our  universe  to  be  a  changeable,  moody  im- 
mensity. Well  I  remember  those  days  when 
the  voice  of  my  self  was  constantly  ringing  in 
my  ears.  I  selfishly  cursed  my  ill-luck.  I  self- 
ishly condemned  those  who  apparently  ob- 
structed my  path  of  progress.  I  selfishly 
sympathized  with  my  self,  and  consequently 
wrapped  myself  in  a  cloak  of  bitterness  and 
melancholy.  Universe?  Life?  The  world?  My 
own  bitterness  and  sadness  reflected  upon  the 
world.  This  was  indeed  a  sad,  hopeless  ex- 
istence! Man  was  indeed  a  selfish,  heartless 
brute!  Yes,  all  this  was  truly  so.  As  I  am  in 
being,  thus  is  the  world  without.  My  self-love, 
moreover,  prevented  me  from  knowing.  There 
was  nothing  to  know  but  the  selfish  demands  of 
my  self.     I  was  shut  out  from  the  realm  of  uni- 


30  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

versal  knowing.  I  was  ignorant;  not  wise,  not 
spiritual. 

This  self-love,  the  expression  of  self-con- 
sciousness, is  the  key  to  the  life-hieroglyphics  of 
existence.  It  explains  everything  except,  per- 
haps, the  beginning  and  the  end  which  in  all 
probability  do  not  exist.  Were  it  not  for  self- 
consciousness,  material  universe  would  not  ex- 
ist. There  would  be  a  vast  ocean  of  All-con- 
sciousness, which  does  not  express  itself  in  lim- 
ited, material  form  and  therefore  would  appear 
as  nothingness  to  self-conscious  man. 

And  what  about  the  rest  of  the  universe? 
Have  we  summed  up  our  conclusions  about  uni- 
versal existence  when  we  say  that  man  is  self- 
conscious  being  and  the  rest  of  universe  is  made 
up  of  things,  just  things?  I  sometimes  wonder 
what  unnamable  conceit  prompted  man  to  draw 
a  line  of  absolute  distinction  between  himself 
and  the  balance  of  the  All.  Why  is  he  totally 
different  from  the  rest  of  God's  beings?  His 
self-love,  perhaps,  caused  him  to  look  at  things 
in  that  manner.  Perhaps  it  was  the  fact  that  a 
difference  exists  between  him  and  the  other  in- 
mates of  universe  that  made  him  blind  to  the 
truth  that  he  is  merely  the  most  sublime  edition 
of  creation. 

I  am  not  aware  of  an  absolute  separation  be- 
tween my  own  being  and  the  more  humble  and 
undeveloped  ones  of  universe.     I  can  notice  but 


CONSCIOUSNESS  31 

a  difference  of  degree.  I  recognize  my  self  in 
the  rigid  rock,  the  nodding  flower,  the  fluttering 
bird.  That  is  to  say,  I  find  my  own  unfavor- 
able elemental  qualities  intensified  in  beast,  and 
plant,  and  even  mineral;  I  am  aware  of  a  total 
or  partial  absence  of  man's  sublimer  qualities  in 
them. 

The  solid  rock,  for  example,  speaks  volumes 
of  life-knowledge  to  me.  The  rock,  or  perhaps 
each  of  its  particles,  is  a  visible  expression  of 
intense  self-consciousness.  The  atoms  of  the 
stone  are  so  absorbed  in  self  that  even  a  sledge- 
hammer does  not  make  any  impression  upon  the 
stone.  The  stone  does  not  move  unless  I  kick 
it  sufficiently  hard.  The  "  me  "  of  the  stone- 
molecule  is  plunged  in  total  darkness.  We  say 
that  the  stone  is  lifeless,  even  as  we  sometimes 
remark  about  an  individual  that  he  is  "  dead." 

Then  there  is  the  fragrant  rose.  What 
lovely  expression  of  intense  self-consciousness 
that  flower  is!  Why,  it  does  not  even  toil, 
neither  does  it  spin.  It  grows  and  blooms 
wherever  the  invisible  hand  of  universe  may 
plant  it.  Its  chief  business  in  this  world  is  to 
draw  the  nourishing  essence  from  its  little  root- 
entangled  earth-bed;  to  lift  up  its  innocent 
petal-face  to  the  vitalizing  rays  of  the  sun.  It 
is  almost  completely  absorbed  in  self.  Not  as 
completely  as  the  stone,  however!  There  are 
many  indications  pointing  at  the  fact  that  the 


32  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

flower  is  vaguely  conscious  of  an  outside  world. 
It  dies,  for  instance,  when  bereft  of  food  and 
sunshine.  From  a  shadowed  dwelling-place  it 
bends  and  grows  in  the  direction  of  the  falling 
sunbeams.  Nay,  I  even  have  noticed  that  the 
flower  is  dimly  aware  of  the  presence  of  human 
beings!  Impression,  I  am  convinced,  stirs  the 
being  of  the  flower.  This  impression  is  prob- 
ably so  vague  and  so  simple  in  its  eff^ect  that 
we,  who  are  literally  besieged  by  conscious  and 
unconscious,  stormy  and  peaceful,  impressions, 
do  not  dream  of  its  existence.  It  should,  more- 
over, be  an  unconscious  impression,  for  the 
flower  is  far  below  the  stage  of  man-being, 
which  is  particularly  characterized  by  the  indi- 
vidual's awareness  of  his  own  consciousness. 
The  flower,  then,  is  not  conscious  of  being  con- 
scious. 

Close  observation  made  me  conclude  that  dif- 
ferent people  afl^ect  the  flower  in  a  diff^erent 
manner.  The  selfish  or  morose  person  cannot 
"  keep  "  cut  flowers  for  as  long  a  period  as  the 
strong,  cheerful  individual  can.  It  would  seem 
that  the  flower  is  impressed  (probably  not  con- 
sciously) by  the  quality  of  the  selfish  person's 
being.  As  a  consequence  thereof  it  quickly 
droops  its  head  and  fades  away.  The  being  of 
the  noble,  unselfish,  cheerful  man,  however,  im- 
presses the  flower  in  such  a  manner  that  its  life 
is  prolonged. 


CONSCIOUSNESS  33 

What  an  interesting  something  —  the  being, 
or  soul,  of  man!  What  a  glorious  world,  this 
huge  dwelling-place  of  ours!  Full  of  interest 
and  marvel,  indeed!  I  have  no  desire  to  ex- 
change it  for  a  heaven  of  eternal  bliss.  I 
should  feel  infinitely  bored.  I  should  long  for 
my  earthly  trials  and  my  beautiful  paradise  of 
universe.  A  heaven  is  a  fit  abode  for  a  sleepy, 
tired,  discouraged  individual,  anyway. 

The  flower,  then,  is  a  little  less  absorbed  in 
self  than  the  rock  is,  and  it  consequently  mani- 
fests a  certain  amount  of  freedom.  There  is 
growth ;  there  is  life.  There  is  not  that  stony, 
death-like  attitude  towards  the  outside  world. 
There  is  a  glimmer  of  light  in  the  flower,  be  it 
an  ever  so  faint  a  one. 

Then  there  is  the  animal.  What  a  beauti- 
fully savage  expression  of  intense  self-conscious- 
ness is  the  king  of  animals,  for  example !  Also 
his  chief  occupation  in  this  world  is  the  satisfy- 
ing of  self.  Also  he  is  intensely  self-conscious. 
His  life  is  spent  in  preying  on  his  victim  that 
must  furnish  him  his  food,  and  in  comfortably 
snoozing  in  a  comer  of  his  den.  Yet  is  the 
animal  less  absorbed  in  self  than  the  plant  is. 
It  is  to  a  greater  degree  conscious  of  the  All. 
It  consequently  enjoys  a  greater  freedom.  It 
actually  moves  about  at  will,  while  the  plant,  as 
a  rule,  flourishes  on  the  spKit  of  birth.  It  is, 
moreover,  master  over  the  plant,  while  the  plant. 


34  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

in  turn,  is  master  over  the  mineral.  It  is  not 
fate  that  orders  the  cow  to  eat  the  grass  of  the 
meadow.  The  plant,  being  more  intensely  ab- 
sorbed in  self  than  the  animal,  enjoys  less  free- 
dom and  is  the  latter's  slave.  And  in  human 
life  we  shall  see  that  the  man  who  is  least 
wrapped  up  in  self  enjoys  the  greatest  freedom 
and  is  mentally  and  morally  master  among  men. 

The  least  self-absorbed  being  in  universe  is 
man.  Being  infinitely  less  self-centered  than 
the  animal,  the  plant,  and  the  mineral,  he  is 
their  master.  He  is,  moreover,  more  receptive 
to  impression,  and,  as  a  consequence  thereof, 
his  own  possibility  of  becoming  All-knowing. 
The  All  is  partly  known  to  him.  There  is  no 
death-like  darkness  surrounding  him.  There  is 
no  bondage  of  utter  self-absorption  limiting 
him  to  a  condition  of  slavery.  He  is  the  ruler 
of  physical  nature. 

Needless  to  say  that  there  are  several  de- 
grees of  man-being.  The  sweetly  self-conscious 
rose,  for  instance,  is  to  be  found  among  the 
fair  maidens  of  this  earth.  We  know  her,  the 
carefree  woman-child  of  luxury.  Her  business 
in  life  is  to  lift  her  innocent  face  to  the  sun- 
shine-rays of  comfort  and  pleasure.  She  drinks 
the  self-nourishing  essence  of  ease  and  happi- 
ness. She  unconsciously  cherishes  and  caresses 
her  self.  Little  does  she  dream  that  there  is  a 
mighty   universe   scheming   and   moving   about 


CONSCIOUSNESS  35 

her;  that  there  is  a  humanity  struggling  for 
light  and  conquest  of  sorrow;  that  there  is  an 
invisible  power  weaving  the  web  of  her  future; 
until  one  unexpected  day  a  cruel  blow  from  life 
startles  her  from  her  rosy  dream.  Then  she 
wonders  why.  Her  little  head  fades  and 
droops.  Another  rose  has  known  of  bloom  and 
fragrance. 

Also  the  beautifully  savage  expression  of  in- 
tense self-consciousness  like  that  of  a  tiger  or  a 
lion  is  to  be  found  among  men.  We  shall  find 
it  in  a  Napoleon,  in  an  individual  bent  on  ma- 
terial conquest.  He  spares  neither  his  own  nor 
his  enemy's  soldiers  in  his  turbulent  rush  for 
might  and  power.  Nobody  and  nothing  must 
obstruct  his  bloody  path.  No  human  or  other 
voice  sounds  louder  than  that  of  his  self.  Som- 
ber and  fierce  his  appearance,  hard  and  deter- 
mined his  expression,  black  and  gloomy  his  self ; 
he  stands  on  the  battlefield  of  earth,  shut  out 
from  the  realms  of  All-knowing.  An  impene- 
trable fog  of  self-love,  blood,  and  bullets  sur- 
rounds him,  until  a  Waterloo  and  subsequent 
exile  divert  his  attention  from  self  to  an  out- 
side universe  which  is  apparently  governed  by 
strange  and  incomprehensible  laws.  Indeed,  a 
Waterloo  within  the  soul  of  the  self-loving  crea- 
ture is  an  angel  in  bloody  disguise  that  shows 
the  road  leading  to  unselfishness  and  under- 
standing. 


36  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

The  highest  type  of  man  is  he  who  does  not 
listen  principally  to  the  voice  of  his  self.  Such 
man  is  a  master-mind,  a  powerful  hero.  He  is 
not  a  master-mind  for  the  sake  of  self.  He  is 
not  the  type  of  hero  who  kills  his  fellow-man  in 
the  roaring  battle.  Not  being  held  in  bondage 
by  the  ever-crying  voice  of  self,  his  freedom  al- 
lows him  to  rule  mentally  and  morally.  He  is 
the  pioneer  of  the  generation  to  come,  some- 
times the  herald  of  an  as  yet  unborn  race.  His 
understanding,  and,  above  all,  his  unselfishness, 
make  him  unconquerable  and  fearless.  His  self 
is  not  the  principal  factor  of  universe,  and  pain 
and  sorrow  are  bearable.  A  humanity,  nay,  an 
entire  fathomless  universe  exist  beside  his  self. 
Forward !  Defeat  is  not  known  to  him.  There 
is  no  self  to  be  wounded  or  pleased. 

Whether  Jesus  of  Nazareth  be  a  product  of 
fiction,  or  whether  he  be  a  reality  of  mankind's 
history,  matters  little  to  me.  Of  this  much 
I  am  convinced,  that  the  least  self-conscious 
being  on  earth  is  a  Christ.  Such  a  being  is  no 
longer  self.  He  has  become  one  with  the  All. 
He  knows  all  there  is  to  know.  Why,  he  is 
God  himself! 


IV 


MAN  AND  MATERIAL  UNIVERSE  AS 
FATE 

It  is  with  some  hesitation  that  I  undertake 
to  write  the  following  chapter.  Not  because  I 
am  not  convinced  of  the  truth  of  its  statements, 
but  because  mdividual  experience  only  can  bring 
us  the  realization  of  that  truth.  There  is,  in- 
deed, a  great  difference  between  accepting  and 
realizing  a  truth.  Someone  may  tell  me  that 
smoking  is  injurious  to  my  health.  I  may  ac- 
cept his  statement  as  truth  without  realizing 
its  truth.  Only  individual  experience,  teaching 
me  that  the  use  of  nicotine  is  bad  for  me,  can 
make  me  realize  that  fact.  And  thus  I  may  re- 
peat a  philosophy  of  life  which  I  know  by 
hearsay  and  merely  accept  because  it  sounds 
logical  or  plausible.  I  may,  on  the  other  hand, 
advocate  the  same  philosophy  for  the  reason 
that  individual  experience  caused  me  to  realize 
its  truth.  In  the  first  instance  I  imitate  the 
parrot  that  jabbers  away,  knowing  not  of  what 
it  is  talking;  in  the  second  case,  the  truth  of 
such  philosophy  has  come  to  me  as  a  revelation : 
37 


38  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

I  fully  realize  it,  I  know  it.  A  revelation  is  the 
realization  of  a  truth  that  formerly  belonged  to 
the  realm  of  the  unknown.  The  following  state- 
ments, then,  should  be  realized  by  the  individual. 
They  should  be  the  word-expressions  of  the 
reader's  unuttered  knowledge. 

It  is  rather  unlike  man's  inquisitive  nature 
not  to  study  the  origin  and  the  attributes  of 
that  grim  and  merciless  pirate  of  universe 
known  to  him  as  "  fate."  He  has  reigned  su- 
preme, this  cruel  tyrant,  since  the  birth  of  man, 
and  never  has  his  victim  even  attempted  to  un- 
mask him  or  resist  him.  Invisible  to  mortal  eye, 
this  dreaded  enemy  reveals  his  existence  by  the 
effects  of  his  blow.  And  while  man  is  ever 
ready  to  clamor  for  his  "  rights,"  his  "  liberty," 
his  "  freedom,"  in  social  life,  he  sheepishly  ac- 
cepts the  lashes  from  the  czar  of  universe,  and 
merely  sighs :  "  It  is  the  hand  of  Fate."  In- 
deed! A  sorrowful  mess,  then,  this  creation  of 
the  All-Wise!  A  miserable  execution  of  the 
eternal  symphony,  this  life-music  of  ours ! 
Rather  discouraging,  I  should  say,  that  the 
tender  strain  of  life's  fantasy  should  be  so  un- 
expectedly interrupted  by  an  impromptu  of  fate. 
One  does  not  mind  so  much  the  fact  that  the 
potter  amused  himself  by  moulding  pots.  But 
to  be  a  disfigured  pot,  cracked  and  coarse  and 
ugly ;  to  he  surrounded  by  calamity  and  fate  — 


MAN  AND  UNIVERSE  AS  FATE     39 

that  cannot  arouse  a  fervent  admiration  for 
the  potter's  ability  and  goodwill! 

It  is  not  uninteresting  to  observe,  however, 
that  there  are  those  who  overflow  with  "  wor- 
ship "  and  "  boundless  love  "  for  the  grim  old 
gentleman  —  principally  because  they  are 
aware  of  his  all-crushing  might,  I  wager.  Or 
perhaps  their  me  is  crying  for  health,  wealth, 
and  prosperity.  However,  this  should  be  none 
of  my  affairs,  provided  such  attitude  be  the 
cause  of  their  happiness. 

I  have,  thus  far,  attempted  to  show  that 
man's  real  being  is  a  certain  degree  of  self-con- 
sciousness.. Self-love  is  but  the  natural  expres- 
sion of  self-consciousness.  The  latter  attribute, 
moreover,  is  the  receiver  of  all  conscious  and  un- 
conscious impressions,  and  the  source  of  all  sor- 
row and  happiness.  The  fact  that  the  degree  of 
our  self-love  is  solely  responsible  for  the  intensity 
of  our  sorrow,  and  the  fact  that  a  silencing  of 
this  self-love  lessens  the  consuming  power  of 
pain  —  these  facts,  I  am  happy  to  say,  clear 
the  record  of  the  Supreme  One  of  many  an 
alleged  crime.  One  monstrous  accusation  still 
remains,  however:  He  is  the  author  of  that 
demon-power,  fate.  We  shall  now  endeavor  to 
prove  that  fate,  also,  is  not  one  of  the  Al- 
mighty's destructive  tools. 

No  more  interesting  study  can  absorb  the 
mind  of  man  than  the  study  of  his  self.     It  is 


40  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

often  puzzling  and  surprising  to  watch  this  self 
change  its  position  and  its  surroundings  in  this 
life-labyrinth,  guided,  apparently,  by  the  in- 
visible hand  of  fate.  It  is  inspiring,  nay,  en- 
couraging, to  find  a  reason  for  this  change. 
One  of  the  first  conclusions  the  average  think- 
ing man  must  draw  from  his  observations  is, 
that  there  exist  as  many  fates  as  there  exist 
human  beings.  How  well  known  this  truth  is! 
And  yet  what  little  value  has  been  given  this 
startling  discovery !  Innumerable  truths  about 
this  marvelous  me  of  man  are  the  property  of 
the  public  mind  —  as  boasting  gossip,  perhaps, 
and  not  as  realized  truth.  For  in  spite  of  the 
fact  that  these  truths  are  being  gossiped  about, 
are  being  advanced,  often,  as  a  kind  of  philo- 
sophical fad,  it  would  appear  that  man  is  yet  in- 
clined to  seek  the  essence  of  universal  truth  in 
childish  vagaries,  fear-created  religions,  and 
fanaticism.  The  mysterious  and  the  supernat- 
ural, I  believe,  must  necessarily  appeal  to  the 
ignorant  man  as  the  only  answers  to  the  mys- 
tery of  his  particular  universe. 

Individual  experience  caused  me  to  realize 
that  I  am  my  own  fate.  When  I  first  awoke 
from  the  rosy  dream  of  childhood,  well-meaning 
people  planned  a  future  life  for  me.  I  should 
become  a  banker,  they  said.  I  should  spend 
my  days  in  a  dusty  office,  signing  checks  and 
drafts;  carefully  balancing  my  mind  and  soul 


MAN  AND  UNIVERSE  AS  FATE     41 

in  a  universe  of  infinite  beauty  and  marvel; 
cultivating  a  profit-and-loss  conception  of  life, 
God,  and  heaven.  Rather  a  cruel  arrangement 
to  make  for  an  incorrigible  idealist  and 
dreamer ! 

I  am  still  unspeakably  thankful  that  merciless 
fate  administered  me  a  blow  that  planted  me, 
penniless,  homeless,  and  friendless,  in  the  heart 
of  the  American  prairies.  My  being,  knowing 
its  own  nature,  its  own  qualities,  and,  there- 
fore, its  own  ambitions,  had  advised  me  to  spend 
my  days  in  studying  the  depths  of  life's  marvel. 
I  had  preferred  to  listen  to  this  irresistible 
voice  rather  than  to  the  scratching  sound  of 
check-signing  pens.  Subsequent  poverty  and 
struggle  were  effects  of  a  known  cause  —  my 
self.  They  were,  moreover,  inspirations  that 
revealed  many  a  treasure-house  of  knowledge. 
That  knowledge  and  that  experience  came  in 
response  to  a  demand  made  by  —  my  self.  No 
man  who  is  not  acquainted  with  all  sides  of  life 
—  with  the  monotonous,  soul-sapping  flim-flam 
of  luxurious  society  and  the  inspiring  cry  of 
life's  battlefield,  "  fight  and  conquer  " — no  man, 
I  say,  who  has  not  experienced  life  as  a  whole, 
is  in  a  position  to  teach  people  about  it.  A 
pity-arousing  thought,  that  of  a  silk-hat- 
domed  and  patent-leather-shoed  preacher  drift- 
ing on  the  contents  of  the  Bible  and  the 
fat  income  derived  therefrom,  teaching  people 


42  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

about  life!  What  does  he  know  of  the  many 
temptations  with  which  a  poverty-stricken  hu- 
man brute  is  surrounded?  What  does  he  know 
of  the  origin  of  sin,  and  the  comparative  ease 
of  committing  it  in  spite  of  sermons  and  moral 
warnings  ?  Better  sin  and  suffer,  and  then  with 
a  realization  in  your  soul  teach  your  brother, 
than  to  be  good  and  saintly,  and  parade  with 
moral  teachings  which  you  do  not  realize  and  of 
which  you  know  nothing. 

Was  it  fate  that  guided  me  to  the  prairies, 
poverty,  and  struggle?  Was  it  fate  that 
taught  me  in  such  manner  about  the  laws  of  life 
and  universe?  Had  I  offered  my  banker's  fu- 
ture to  a  man  guided  by  ambitions  for  financial 
success,  his  pen  would  still  be  scratching  signa- 
tures on  checks  —  not,  I  am  convinced,  because 
fate  had  compelled  him  to  do  so;  but  because 
his  being  is  what  it  is,  and  its  quality  demanded 
particular  life-conditions. 

I  would  call  this  strange  law  that  guides  the 
human  being  the  law  of  individual  fate.  It  is 
difficult  to  define  this  law  in  so  many  words. 
It  is  not  even  easily  discovered,  because  the 
average  individual  is  not  yet  conscious  of  its 
complicated  operations.  It  operates  in  spite 
of  our  knowledge  of  it.  The  only  thing  needed 
for  the  activity  of  the  law  of  individual  fate  is 
an  individual.  The  individual  himself  is  that 
law.     Fate  without  a  being  to  act  upon  is  un- 


MAN  AND  UNIVERSE  AS  FATE      43 

thinkable.  Fate  and  the  individual  are  neces- 
sarily one.  The  actions  of  fate  will  be  in  har- 
mony with  the  soul-quality,  the  degree  of  de- 
velopment or  self-consciousness  of  the  individual 
me.  Although  our  natural  skepticism  would 
tempt  us  to  ridicule  this  theory  of  individual 
fate,  we  are  yet  vaguely  aware  of  the  existence 
of  such  power.  Even  the  slang-filled  mouth 
of  the  Broadway  loafer  unconsciously  utters  a 
volume  of  wisdom  when  it  says :  "  He  got  what 
was  coming  to  him."  Something  happened  to 
the  object  of  his  comment;  something  natural, 
apparently;  something  that  shoidd  have  hap- 
pened to  him;  something  that  could  only  have 
happened  to  that  particular  individual,  because 
his  being,  his  me,  is  what  it  is. 

We  study  our  fellow-man ;  we  try  to  discover 
his  soul-qualities,  his  generosity  or  selfishness, 
his  faith  or  weakness,  his  ambition  or  laziness. 
And  we  come  to  a  certain  conclusion  regarding 
his  fate.  His  fate  should  be  thus  and  such,  be- 
cause the  quality  of  his  being  is  so  and  so.  Nor 
can  we  think  of  an  intensely  self-absorbed  being, 
satisfying  the  cry  of  his  self  with  liquor  and 
base  passions,  becoming  the  president  of  the 
United  States. 

Simple,  is  it  not,  this  law  of  individual  fate? 
Not  only  simple,  but  encouraging.  We  do  not 
now  see  the  need  of  heaping  all  responsibility 
for  our   fatal   and  wicked  actions   on  the  in- 


44i  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

visible  shoulders  of  an  unknown  god.  We  are 
spared  the  disheartening  duty  of  accusing  a  Su- 
preme Being  of  wilful  meanness.  Our  being, 
with  its  good  and  bad  qualities,  its  experienced 
knowledge  and  its  lack  of  knowledge,  is  fate. 
It  acts  like  a  magnet,  drawing  itself  into  condi- 
tions and  surroundings,  calling  forth  blows  and 
blessings,  that  are  essential  to  its  growth. 
This  growth,  as  stated  elsewhere,  is  the  growth 
of  All-consciousness  —  the  only  development 
known  in  material  universe.  What  self-con- 
sciousness loses  in  degree,  All-consciousness 
gains.  An  expression  of  this  gain  is  an  in- 
crease in  knowledge  or  All-knowing,  and  a  de- 
crease in  ignorance  and  selfishness.  When 
man's  being  has  developed  to  a  certain  point,  he 
is  partly  conscious  of  the  fact  that  it  is  its 
own  fate.  The  average  man  does  not  realize 
this,  however.  He  therefore  attributes  the 
cause  of  his  hither  and  thither  thrown  life  to 
the  whimsical  nature  of  a  god  or  a  fatal  power, 
which  god  and  fatal  power  exist  in  separation 
from  his  own  being. 

It  is  impossible  for  me  to  know  myself  in 
absolute  separation  from  that  beautiful  universe 
of  ours.  I  am  aware  of  an  invisible  tie  bind- 
ing me  to  All  that  is  and  making  man  and  uni- 
verse one.  Comparing  myself  with  the  other 
beings  of  universe,  I  observe  no  difference  but 
one  of  DEGEEE  in  being.     I  am   aware  of  in- 


MAN  AND  UNIVERSE  AS  FATE     45 

tensified  qualities  of  darkness  here,  and  in- 
creased brilliancy  of  light  elsewhere.  Laws  and 
principles,  I  am  satisfied,  do  not  govern  the 
being  of  man  only.  They  direct  the  being  of 
the  flower,  the  molecule,  and  the  electron.  The 
very  same  laws  that  govern  man's  being  govern 
all  beings  and  so-called  things.  There  is  a  dif- 
ference in  action,  only;  which  diff^erence  is  one 
of  DC6R££,  and  depends  upon  the  quality  or 
development  of  the  being.  Which  law,  for  in- 
stance, commands  an  atom  of  oxygen  to  com- 
bine with  two  atoms  of  hydrogen?  Why  does 
this  chemical  action  take  place  invariably? 
That  law,  I  should  say,  is  the  law  of  individual 
fate.  I  cannot  imagine  a  voice,  existing  sepa- 
rate from  and  beyond  the  being-sphere  of  the 
atom,  commanding  it  to  go  into  partnership 
with  two  other  atoms.  The  voice  is  the  atom 
itself,  the  being  of  the  atom.  It  is  because  the 
being  of  the  atom  of  hydrogen  is  what  it  is, 
and  the  being  of  the  oxygen-atom  is  what  it  is, 
that  the  above-mentioned  chemical  action  takes 
place.     Each  atom  is  its  own  fate! 

That  profound  thinker  whose  being  has  in- 
deed reached  a  rare  degree  of  All-consciousness, 
Professor  Edgar  Lucien  Larkin,  in  speaking  of 
the  world  of  atoms  and  electrons,  uttered  the 
following  words  of  wisdom :  "  All  is  mind,  all 
is  life,  even  the  electron."  Different  expres- 
sions need  not  necessarily  be  the  expressions  of 


46  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

different  ideas.  Moreover,  a  hundred  different 
expressions  are  often  inadequate  to  utter  a 
truth  about  the  realm  of  the  unseen.  The 
word  "  mind,"  I  beheve,  is  rather  deceptive. 
One  might  be  inclined  to  fancy  an  infinitesimal 
brain  scheming  and  thinking  in  an  atom  of 
hydrogen.  The  atom,  for  instance,  does  not 
reason  with  itself  as  follows :  "  Now  I  will 
call  a  pal,  and  combine  with  that  oxygen  fel- 
low." There  is  no  question  whatever  of  a  rea- 
soning, arguing,  or  thinking  process.  The 
atom  is  being  guided  by  the  magnetic  power  of 
its  being,  its  consciousness.  Its  actions  are  au- 
tomatic. It  is  not  aware  of  being  conscious. 
Its  movements  through  universe  are  unknown  to 
itself.  This  automatic  action,  this  individual 
fate,  is  the  guiding  power  of  all  "  things  "  and 
beings  that  build  up  universe.  It  is  the  guiding 
power  of  the  electron,  the  atom,  the  flower,  the 
animal,  and  the  human  being.  The  less  ab- 
sorbed in  self  the  being  is,  the  greater  the  num- 
ber and  the  variety  of  happenings  it,  itself, 
harbors  as  possibilities.  Even  the  average  man 
of  to-day  is  barely  conscious  of  the  fatal  power 
of  his  own  personality.  True,  he  is  beginning 
to  courageously  admit  that  his  own  being  has 
some  creative  value;  that  it  is  the  cause  of  at 
least  a  few  effects.  But  his  theories  are  *'  in- 
teresting talk,"  "  something  new,"  more  than 
realized  truth.     People  are  still  inclined  to  seek 


MAN  AND  UNIVERSE  AS  FATE     47 

the  author  of  their  fate  in  a  power  existing  in 
separation  from  their  own  being.  This,  I 
should  think,  is  a  natural  inclination.  All  an- 
swers to  questions,  however,  shall  ultimately  be 
found  in  the  being  of  the  questioner.  My  own 
soul  has  sent  out  its  cries  of  agony  through  the 
depths  of  the  world,  accusing  a  Supreme  Being : 
"  Thou  didst  that  to  me !  "  He  never  denied 
or  admitted  his  guilt.  The  only  answer  I  re- 
ceived was  the  eternal  silence  of  the  All. 

A  study  of  one's  self  may  be  the  cause  of  in- 
finite satisfaction.  The  man  who  realizes  that 
his  carelessness  —  and  not  fate  or  God  —  may 
be  the  cause  of  a  possible  fall  is  a  wise  man. 
The  man  who  knows  that  certain  dark  spots 
and  imperfect  qualities  of  his  Being  are,  and 
may  be,  the  cause  of  disagreeable  happenings 
and  circumstances  meeting  him  is  a  master-mind 
in  emJbryo.  And  he  who  knows  that  he,  him- 
self, is  fate ;  that  he  shall  reap  as  he  has  sown ; 
that  by  perfecting  his  being,  his  fate  shall  be- 
come more  perfect  —  such  man  is  the  uncon- 
querable creator  of  his  own  successful  life! 


FATE  AND  THE  GREAT  EUROPEAN 
WAR 

While  I  am  writing  these  lines,  "  fate "  is 
swooping  down  upon  the  European  continent, 
covering  it  with  a  shroud  of  blood  and  bullets 
and  agony.  It  may  not  be  uninteresting  to  in- 
vestigate the  cause  of  this  wholesale  butchery, 
and  to  determine  what  part  individual  fate  is 
playing  in  this  universal  calamity.  Indeed, 
this  war  is  a  subject  worthy  of  discussion.  As 
an  event  in  the  history  of  mankind  it  stands  in 
importance  and  magnitude  next  to  the  insub- 
ordination of  Adam  and  Eve  in  the  Garden  of 
Eden.  Its  possible  consequences  are  incalcu- 
lable. The  "  fate  "  of  many  a  king  and  em- 
peror is  undergoing  a  decided  change.  The 
foundation  of  many  a  youthful  nation  is  being 
strengthened.  The  dream  of  many  a  human- 
ity-lover is  adopting  the  shape  of  an  etherial 
possibility. 

Many  are  the  explanations  given  for  the 
forthcoming  of  this  catastrophe.  Servia,  Aus- 
tria,  Russia,   Germany,  France,   and   England 

are  in  turn  being  accused  of  having  lit  the  fuse 
48 


FATE  AND  THE  EUROPEAN  WAR     49 

of  the  bomb  of  war.  No  two  opinions  are  alike. 
But  the  real  cause  of  this  world-misery,  I  be- 
lieve, has  not  been  discovered.  Nor  is  it  being 
realized  that  this  war  is  the  inevitable  effect  of 
an  inevitable  cause. 

My  wholehearted  indignation  was  aroused  by 
the  fact  that  a  czar  or  an  emperor  commanded 
his  soldiers  to  pray  to  God  for  victory  of 
arms.  Of  what  sort  of  a  god  are  these  indi- 
viduals conscious,  anyway?  I  should  think 
that  they  are  either  ignorant,  superstitious 
self-lovers,  or  else  that  they  know  better,  and 
use  a  hypocritical  god-idea  as  a  means  to  in- 
spire their  subjects  to  kill  their  fellow-men.  I 
have  no  patience  with  such  imperial  behaviour. 
It  is  simply  damnable,  and  as  repulsively  crim- 
inal as  can  be  imagined.  Better  know  of  the 
Devil,  and  kill  on  one's  own  responsibility,  than 
solicit  the  approval  of  a  creator  and  make  him 
the  author  of  a  world-crime ! 

I  give  my  whole-souled  sympathy  and  pity 
to  those  who  in  all  sincerity  beg  of  God  to  avert 
the  continuation  of  this  war.  And  he  who  does 
so  for  the  sake  of  being  good  and  pious  in  the 
eyes  of  the  public  is  in  need  of  even  more  than 
human  sympathy  and  pity. 

It  is  pitiful,  indeed,  that  man  in  the  year  1914 
is  not  endowed  with  a  little  more  common  sense. 
It  would  appear  that  God  has  no  intention 
whatever  of  halting  the  bloodthirsty  armies  of 


50  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

Europe.  Why  did  he,  the  Almighty  One,  al- 
low them  to  clash  in  the  first  place?  Princi- 
pally, I  believe,  because  he  has  nothing  to  do 
with  the  whole  miserable  affair  and  knows  ab- 
solutely nothing  of  it. 

Now  let  us  try,  aided  by  a  little  common 
sense,  to  determine  who  or  what  is  responsible 
for  the  great  European  war. 

The  observation  power  of  a  horse  or  a  cow 
is  needed  to  realize  that  the  ruin  of  a  window 
is  caused  by  a  stone  hurled  in  the  latter's  di- 
rection. The  stone,  indeed,  did  it.  A  little 
more  intelligence  is  needed  to  trace  the  power 
that  hurled  the  stone.  And  a  certain  amount 
of  wisdom  is  required  to  understand  and  know 
the  cause  that  prompted  that  power  to  hurl 
the  stone. 

The  many  stones  that  smashed  the  windows 
of  Europe's  peace-palace  are  being  discussed 
with  great  fervor  and  animosity.  And  the 
powers  that  hurled  these  stones  are  vaguely 
known  to  the  public.  But  the  primary  cause 
that  set  these  powers  in  motion  is  absolutely 
unknown  to  the  world,  because  humanity  is  as 
yet  not  blessed  with  life-knowledge. 

The  average  soul-development  of  Europe's 
inhabitants  is  about  half  a  century  behind  the 
1914-mark.  We  have  already  seen  that  the 
growth  in  man  is  the  growth  of  individual  un- 
selfishness and  All-knowing  —  an  expression  of 


FATE  AND  THE  EUROPEAN  WAR     61 

a  greater  degree  of  All-consciousness.  One 
must  have  lived  in  the  United  States  and  Eu- 
rope both,  in  order  to  be  able  to  notice  the  im- 
portant superiority  of  the  American  being 
above  the  European.  The  me  of  Europe's  in- 
dividuals, and  especially  that  of  its  rulers,  is 
a  lover  of  self,  to  such  an  extent,  indeed,  that 
it  either  humors  or  disgusts  the  universal, 
broadminded,  generous  American. 

To  what  extent  thought  of  self  is  ruling  the 
masses  of  Europe,  one  who  has  not  lived  the 
European  life  can  scarcely  comprehend.  Suf- 
ficiently foolish  and  antique  appears  the  position 
of  czar  and  kaiser  to  the  average  twentieth-cen- 
tury-mind, I  presume.  What,  indeed,  is  a 
king  that  he  should  be  clothed  in  ermine  and 
purple ;  that  he  should  rule  and  command ;  that 
he  should  voice  a  public  sentiment  which  is  not 
the  expression  of  the  public?  He  is,  no  doubt, 
a  relic  of  ancient  tyranny  and  barbarism;  a 
vague  reminder  of  the  past,  when  people  were 
sufficiently  developed  to  be  slaves. 

Extraordinary  that  clothes,  outward  appear- 
ance, life's  false  and  gaudy  show,  should  over- 
awe the  public!  A  priest  demands  respect, 
and  sometimes  fear  —  not  because  he  is  what 
he  is,  but  for  the  reason  that  he  wears  his  sol- 
emn, black  attire.  A  policeman  is  an  au- 
thority-inspiring being  on  account  of  his 
uniform,  while  his  soul-value  may  not  amount 


5S  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

to  a  row  of  pins.  And  a  king!  Who  is  not 
impressed  by  the  crown,  the  sword,  the  throne, 
the  army,  the  palace  of  a  king ! 

Kings  and  emperors  are  working  overtime. 
They  play  an  entirely  superfluous  part  in  the 
world's  business.  Their  presence  belongs  to 
the  scenes  of  the  Middle  Ages.  In  those  days 
the  me  of  man  was  a  greater  lover  of  self,  and 
totally  ignorant  of  the  supreme  principle  of  the 
universe :  individual  liberty.  Should  one  be  sur- 
prised to  see  "  fate  "  swoop  down  one  of  these 
days,  and  sweep  throne  and  crown  into  oblivion.? 
No,  I  suppose. 

What  horrifying  expression  of  self-love  is  a 
government  of  Russia!  How  miserably  ab- 
sorbed in  self  are  the  rulers  and  the  mighty 
of  that  slav  empire!  Almost  inconceivably  so, 
in  the  opinion  of  the  generous  mind!  And 
what  is  the  meaning  of  the  existence  of  innu- 
merable class-distinctions  in  Europe?  We 
know  of  old  nobility,  new  nobility,  wealthy 
classes,  middle  classes,  working  classes,  com- 
mon classes,  and  the  "  canaille,"  or  "  peuple," 
or  scum  of  humanity.  A  member  of  the  new 
nobility  is  not  fit  to  be  touched  by  a  descendant 
from  an  old  noble  house.  A  middle  class  man 
is  unworthy  of  the  attention  from  a  wealthy 
man.  The  workingman  is  a  slave  in  every  re- 
spect. A  member  of  the  "  masses  "  should  ever 
be  ready  to  apologize  for  his  existence. 


FATE  AND  THE  EUROPEAN  WAR     63 

What  causes  such  miserable  expressions  of 
brotherly  love,  you  ask?  Seek  the  answer  in 
the  me  of  man.  The  European  individual  is, 
in  comparison  with  the  American,  extremely 
absorbed  in  self.  The  voice  of  his  self  is  to 
such  a  degree  all-predominant  that  he  satisfies 
himself  at  the  expense  of  his  fellow-man.  He 
expresses  the  self-centeredness  of  his  being 
through  a  selfish  narrowmindedness.  He 
tramples  on  his  less  fortunate  brother.  His 
being  is  barred  from  All-knowing;  he  is,  conse- 
quently, ignorant  of  the  laws  of  life  and  ex- 
istence. In  short,  the  European  soul  has  not 
unfolded  to  the  degree  of  development  attained 
by  the  American  soul.  Should  one  be  sur- 
prised to  see  "  fate  "  deal  a  blow  to  the  Euro- 
pean man  that  shall  furnish  him  the  experience 
needed  for  the  discovery  of  another  tip  of 
truth's  garment? 

The  average  European  soul,  then,  by  being 
in  quality  behind  the  signs  of  the  times,  is  in- 
viting progress  or  growth  to  interfere.  And 
never  knew  we  progress  but  it  walked  over  de- 
struction. It  destroys  the  old,  and  upon  the 
sepulchre  of  the  old  it  builds  a  better  new. 
Yesterday's  death  is  to-day's  birth.  This  is 
true  whenever  we  can  possibly  speak  of  growth. 
Such  war  as  is  now  raging  in  Europe  takes 
place  in  miniature  in  the  soul  of  man.  When- 
ever my  being  is  on  the  verge  of  growth,  and  my 


54  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

habits  and  actions  do  not  reach  the  degree  of 
sublimity  demanded  by  the  quality  of  my  soul, 
a  revolution  is  bound  to  shake  the  very  founda- 
tions of  my  self.  Sorrow,  pain,  and  struggle 
assault  me.  Not  understanding  the  cause  of 
my  sufferings,  I  may  resent  my  misery  and  con- 
sequently intensify  my  pain.  In  the  end,  how- 
ever, no  matter  how  long  my  struggle  may  have 
lasted,  a  new  me  shall  arise  from  the  ruins  of 
my  former  self;  a  new  me,  with  greater  experi- 
ence, greater  wisdom,  less  love  of  self  —  in 
short,  a  better  me. 

History  teaches  us  that  a  French  Revolution 
built  a  more  tolerable,  a  better  France  on  the 
blood-drenched  grave  of  an  unbearable,  utterly 
selfish  France.  A  study  of  our  earth  reveals 
the  fact  that  a  huge  but  coarser  fauna  and 
flora  were  gradually  annihilated  by  calamity 
and  disaster,  by  floods  and  storms.  A  new 
and  higher  order  of  vegetation  and  animal  life 
took  their  place  in  existence.  The  Canadian 
Rockies,  for  instance,  have  been  the  silent  wit- 
nesses of  the  disastrous  proceedings  of  prog- 
ress. At  their  feet  rolled  immense  forests  of 
tropical  vegetation;  then  the  oceans  leaped  the 
continental  barriers  and  covered  this  immensity 
of  trees  —  yes,  totally  annihilated  the  old. 
To-day,  the  rich  soil  of  the  Canadian  prairies 
covers  vast  beds  of  coal  remains,  proving  the 
existence  of  a  past,  a  "  some  time,"  a  "  some- 


FATE  AND  THE  EUROPEAN  WAR     55 

where."  To-day,  the  country  bom  from  de- 
struction promises  to  become  the  cradle  of  a 
mighty  nation.  Strange,  the  ways  of  fate! 
But  very  often  rather  suitable  to  our  taste  and 
demands,  I  should  think. 

In  that  country  beyond  the  Atlantic,  then, 
human  beings  are  not  living  up  to  the  princi- 
ples of  truth  that  are  now  the  property  of  this 
planet.  A  century  ago,  these  principles  were 
unknown  to  the  then  less  developed  souls. 
People  lived  up  to  a  less  sublime  ideal,  which 
was  neverless  the  ideal  of  a  less  advanced  hu- 
manity. The  irresistible  hand  of  progress,  in- 
vited by  millions  of  human  beings  collectively, 
is  playing  fearful  havoc  among  Europe's  pop- 
ulation. The  old  is  being  destroyed.  The 
better  new  shall  emerge  from  the  ruins  of  the 
old.  Emperors  and  kings  shall  mourn  their  lost 
glory  and  power.  Individual  tyranny  shall 
slowly  retreat  before  the  people's  voice.  In- 
tense thought  of  self  shall  lose  what  individual 
liberty  shall  gain.  A  spiritually  and  mentally 
better  world  shall  emerge  from  the  smoke  of 
ruin  and  gunpowder.  This  is  the  law  — 
which  God  nor  priest  nor  saint  can  alter! 
This  is  the  law  that  operates  at  the  unuttered 
command  of  the  individual.  Nay,  this  law  is 
the  individual ;  it  is  you  ! 

Utter  not  your  prayers  to  a  god  who  is 
totally  ignorant  of  the  conditions  that  prevail 


56  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

in  Europe.  Do  not  hold  him  responsible  for 
this  calamity,  nor  beg  of  him  to  interfere.  The 
answer  to  both  your  accusation  and  your 
prayer  shall  be  —  the  everlasting  silence  of 
eternity.  Have  the  courage  to  realize  that 
your  own  soul-value  determines  your  happiness 
and  sorrow,  your  fortune  and  calamity  in  this 
life.  Know  the  disaster  of  Europe  to  be  the 
creation  of  Europe's  mdividuals,  "  As  you 
sow,  you  shall  reap  "  is  a  saying  that  expresses 
the  law  of  individual  fate.  "  As  you  are  you 
shall  sow "  is  the  primary  truth  of  individu- 
ality. Your  soul-value,  then,  you,  your  me, 
the  individual,  is  the  creator  of  your  life-condi- 
tions. A  time  of  soul-progress  shall  come 
when  the  individual  is  conscious  of  this  fact, 
and  does  not  create  unknowingly. 


And  how,  then,  does  this  European  massacre 
affect  our  United  States.?  I  should  remark 
here  that  this  country  is  the  home  of  an  alto- 
gether new  race;  a  race  far  superior  to  any 
other  one  nestling  on  this  globe.  National 
pride  might  perhaps  invite  an  admission  of  this 
truth.  A  study  of  the  European  nations,  how- 
ever, should  give  us  the  full  realization  of  the 
same.  It  is  perhaps  uttering  a  platitude  to 
state  that  Americans  are  broad-minded  and  uni- 
versal.    But   the   knowledge   that   this   broad- 


FATE  AND  THE  EUROPEAN  WAR     67 

mindedness  is  the  natural  expression  of  a  uni- 
verse-conscious soul  has  the  value  of  a  revela- 
tion. The  average  American  man  is  the  least 
absorbed  in  self  of  all  the  individuals  on  earth. 
He  consequently  expresses  a  less  degree  of 
selfishness,  tyranny,  orthodoxy,  and  all  those 
qualities  that  prevent  freedom  and  liberty  from 
reigning  supreme.  Class-distinction  is  hardly 
noticeable  in  this  country.  Aristocracy  is  but 
a  dream  of  the  past.  The  only  acknowledged 
nobility  is  the  nobility  of  the  soul. 

Little  do  the  Americans  themselves  realize  that 
they  represent  the  highest  degree  of  man-de- 
velopment on  earth.  The  growth  of  man  is  in 
reality  the  growth  of  his  All-consciousness,  an 
expression  of  which  is  the  growth  of  unselfish- 
ness. This  growth  has  reached  its  present  cli- 
max in  the  American  soul.  Spiritually,  men- 
tally, and  morally,  he  is  master,  this  much  criti- 
cised American  individual.  Who  ever  knew  a 
man  to  lead  a  nation  —  a  man  so  utterly  deaf 
to  his  voice  of  self,  a  man  so  intensely  aware  of 
a  struggling  humanity,  a  man  so  all-conscious 
—  like  Woodrow  Wilson?  True,  there  are 
many  such  noble  beings  dispersed  among  the 
masses.  They  often  are  unnoticed,  possibly 
because  their  position  in  life  is  a  humble  one. 
But  infinitely  more  credit  deserves  he  who  lives 
up  to  his  ideals,  even  when  an  exalted  position 
might  tempt  him  to  save  his  self  by  pleasing 


68  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

others.  Carlyle,  no  doubt,  would  call  that 
man,  Wilson,  an  ideal  king  or  hero.  This  man 
is  too  great  to  be  appreciated  at  present,  I 
fear.  He  is  the  pioneer  of  a  coming  genera- 
tion. The  blows  of  criticism  aimed  at  him  are 
principally  moved  by  self-interest.  It  is  clear 
that  Wilson  does  not  tolerate  graft,  greed,  and 
unfairness.  It  is  equally  clear  that  his  posi- 
tion of  defender  of  his  ideals  among  self-cen- 
tered, self-loving  members  of  "  Big  Business  " 
is  an  extremely  difficult  one,  demanding  the 
courage  and  the  self-sacrifice  of  a  hero. 

A  knowledge  of  the  average  soul-development 
of  the  American  man  is  material  enough  for 
the  prediction  of  this  nation's  future.  The  law 
of  individual  fate  is  active  in  America  to-day. 
The  American,  being  what  he  is,  demands  a 
particular  fate  for  his  country.  This  fate  is 
a  period  of  greatness.  I  may  safely  predict 
that  this  nation  shall  hold  the  first  position 
among  the  nations  of  the  earth  ere  many  years 
shall  have  passed.  And  see  how  admirably  this 
law  of  individual  fate  is  performing  its  irre- 
sistible duty!  While  the  old  country  has  in- 
vited destruction  to  purify  its  retarded  soul, 
this  nation  receives  the  opportunity  for  growth 
which  its  law  of  individual  fate  demanded.  We 
hear  of  American  merchant  marines,  of  the 
stars  and  stripes  ruling  the  waters  of  the  seas ! 
How  inexplicably  simple,  and  yet  how  incom- 


FATE  AND  THE  EUROPEAN  WAR     59 

prehensiblj  fitting   into   all   conditions   on   this 
globe  —  this  law  of  individual  fate ! 

This  marvelous  law  does  not  only  guide  the 
nations  of  the  earth ;  it  rules  the  atom,  the 
flower,  the  planet,  the  nebulae,  and  also,  indeed, 
the  individual.  Are  you  anxious  to  know  your 
fate?  Study  your  self,  its  good  and  bad  quali- 
ties. Discover  the  qualities  that  your  being 
lacks.  A  blow  of  cruel  "  fate  "  shall  undoubt- 
edly invite  you  to  become  conscious  of  that  very 
quality.  Be  a  man!  Take  both  your  ups  and 
downs  with  a  smile.  Know  that  you  are  your 
own  fate.  If  by  chance  your  fate  does  not  sat- 
isfy you,  then,  I  say,  change  your  me,  and 
your  fate  shall  change  likewise.  Do  not  burden 
an  unknown  god  with  your  many  troubles  and 
complaints.  Neither  accuse  him  of  tormenting 
you.  He  should  indeed  require  an  army  of 
stenographers  to  record  the  complaints  and  re- 
quests of  1500  million  people,  not  to  mention 
the  millions  that  probably  inhabit  other  globes. 


VI 

THE  ORIGIN  OF  CRIME 

This  chapter  is  written  in  defense  of  the 
criminal  and  the  convict.  I  do  not  intend  to 
belittle  the  seriousness  of  crime;  but  I  am  anx- 
ious to  seek  an  excuse,  if  such  there  is,  for  the 
author  of  crime.  If  I  am  successful,  I  must 
come  to  the  conclusion  that  the  criminal  should 
be  treated  like  a  patient ;  that  he  should  be  at- 
tended to  by  doctors  of  wisdom,  who  shall  teach 
him  some  of  the  truths  of  life.  As  matters 
stand  to-day,  a  criminal  is  a  despised  being,  a 
dangerous  animal  locked  up  in  an  iron  cage, 
with  his  own  miserable  soul  as  his  only  com- 
panion. He  is  doomed  to  insanity  or  soul-star- 
vation. Intellectual  and  moral  development  are 
denied  him.  Not  a  word  of  conversation  or 
kindness  remind  him  of  the  fact  that  he  is  hu- 
man. Not  a  single  object  of  glorious  universe 
impresses  his  soul  with  the  beauty  of  being. 
His  home  is  the  bare  cell;  his  companion,  the 
grim  warden;  his  soul-food,  the  rough  orders 
and  the  attitude  of  repulsiveness  from  outsid- 
ers. 


THE  ORIGIN  OF  CRIME  61 

A  prominent  preacher  in  San  Francisco  not 
long  ago  severely  criticized  a  daily  paper  on 
account  of  its  anxiety  to  assist  discharged  pris- 
oners in  obtaining  work.  The  reverend  gentle- 
man, no  doubt,  thought  it  wicked  to  give  one's 
sympathy  to  prisoners.  The  incident  shows 
what  egotistical,  narrow-minded  ideas  even  a 
teacher  of  the  word  of  God  may  cherish.  I  am 
vaguely  reminded  of  one  or  two  sayings,  "  Judge 
not  "  and  "  Do  unto  others  "  and  "  Love  your 
brother,"  and  hope  that  this  preacher  did  not 
break  any  of  these  commandments.  For  my 
part,  I  believe  that  the  man  who  is  thoroughly 
good,  and  who  knows  how  to  help  himself,  does 
not  require  my  sympathy  and  advice.  I  prefer 
to  give  it  to  the  ignorant  individual,  the  one 
who  brings  himself  into  trouble.  And  it  would 
seem  to  me  that  imprisonment,  the  loss  of  lib- 
erty and  life  itself,  the  bereavement  of  sunshine 
and  social  intercourse,  is  the  worst  calamity  that 
can  befall  a  human  being.  I  shudder  when  I 
imagine  myself  behind  the  iron  bars  .  .   . ! 

In  order  to  find  the  origin  of  crime,  one  should 
expand  his  thought-sphere  beyond  the  limits 
of  self-interest  and  prejudice.  The  trouble 
with  most  students  of  social  problems  and  life's 
philosophy  is  that  they  are  unable  to  penetrate 
beyond  the  boundaries  of  their  immediate  sur- 
roundings and  their  impressions.  Their  view- 
point is  limited;  their  opinions  are  prejudiced, 


62  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

and  hued  with  the  colors  of  their  personal  me. 
The  criminal,  as  a  rule,  is  being  condemned  be- 
cause his  actions  are  repulsive  to  the  me  of  the 
one  who  condemns.  Not  only  the  criminal  is 
condemned  in  such  a  manner,  but  even  the  or- 
dinary human  being.  When  a  person  acts  in 
a  manner  of  which  I  do  not  approve,  my  nat- 
ural impulse  is  to  judge  and  condemn  him.  I 
do  not  always  pause  and  consider  the  "  why  " 
of  his  actions.  My  first  knowledge  is  that  / 
do  not  approve  of  them;  I  am  ready,  there- 
fore, to  denounce  him  as  a  wicked  and  unprin- 
cipled man. 

This  sort  of  judgment  from  a  personal  view- 
point —  a  judgment  based  upon  what  I  am, 
what  I  know,  and  what  I  am  able  to  grasp  — 
is  an  infinite  source  of  quarrels  and  tears.  Peo- 
ple, as  a  rule,  selfishly  cling  to  their  own  ideas 
only,  and  cannot  see  "  the  other  fellow's  "  view- 
point. 

In  discussing  crime,  then,  I  will  not  judge 
the  criminal  from  the  basis  of  my  own  good- 
ness and  my  own  soul-quality.  Instead,  I  will 
take  the  position  of  an  impartial  observer  of  the 
universe,  whose  eye  has  been  caught  by  that 
very  astonishing  individual,  the  criminal.  What 
causes  crime  ?  Such  is  the  first  question  I  shall 
ask  myself.  It  is,  of  course,  more  satisfactory 
to  reason  as  follows :  "  That  man's  actions  are 
repulsive  to  me.     Lock  him  up,   and  be  done 


THE  ORIGIN  OF  CRIME  63 

with  him."  But  I  doubt  whether  this  is  the 
most  logical  and  generous  attitude  to  take  in 
the  matter.  Nor  do  I  think  that  such  pro- 
ceedings are  liable  to  do  away  with  crime.  We 
should  not  kill  a  patient,  but  try  to  conquer  his 
disease. 

Looking  around  in  this  life  of  ours,  I  count 
nothing  but  criminals.  I  do  not  know  of  one 
single  exception.  The  first  criminal  I  discov- 
ered was  myself.  True,  there  are  several  de- 
grees of  crime.  We  know,  for  instance,  of  in- 
tense degrees  that  endanger  public  safety. 
And  we  lock  in  a  convict-cell  those  who  are  thus 
marked  by  the  creating  hand.  But  there  are 
subtler  degrees  of  crime,  which  one  person  is  in- 
clined to  consider  as  such,  another  not.  In- 
deed, many  actions  and  viewpoints  are  crim- 
inal when  considered  in  the  light  of  absolute 
truth,  but  perfectly  good  or  harmless  in  the 
opinion  of  the  public  at  large.  Whether  an 
action  be  considered  criminal  or  not,  depends 
largely  upon  the  moral  ideal  of  humanity,  upon 
the  degree  of  soul-development  of  the  human 
race.  As  this  ideal  is  becoming  more  noble  and 
perfect  as  the  years  roll  by,  it  is  clear  that 
some  actions  that  are  considered  good  or  harm- 
less to-day,  may  be  called  criminal  a  century 
hence. 

Man's  real  being  is  self-consciousness,  which 
expresses  itself  in  material  life  through  thought 


64!  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

of  self  in  general,  and  by  greed  and  selfishness 
in  particular  cases.  We  have  seen  that  there 
are  innumerable  degrees  of  self-consciousness 
among  the  people  of  the  earth ;  that  a  degree  of 
self-consciousness  corresponds  and  harmonizes 
with  a  certain  degree  of  ignorance  about  the 
laws  governing  the  human  being  and  the  out- 
side universe.  If  we  substitute  the  expression 
"  intense  degree  of  self-consciousness  "  with  "  a 
low  stage  of  development,"  we  come  to  the  con- 
clusion that  the  man  whose  being  is  but  little 
developed  is  absolutely  ignorant  of  the  laws  of 
life,  much  more  so  than  the  average  individual. 
And  when  I  say  "  ignorant,"  I  mean  it  in  the 
absolute  sense  of  the  word. 

Philosophers  should  become  better  acquainted 
with  the  fact  that  to  Know  is  to  realize  through 
experience.  I  may  believe  anything  someone 
tells  me,  without  Jcrwwing  it  to  be  true.  Indi- 
vidual life-experience  only,  through  many  a 
blow  and  a  tear,  can  make  me  realize  a  truth. 
If  already  realized,  my  intuition  or  conscience 
or  moral  convictions  prevent  me  from  violating 
that  which  my  being  has  experienced  to  be  true. 

It  is,  perhaps,  not  uninteresting  to  remark 
that  as  innumerable  people  are  bom  with  in- 
numerable differences  in  degree  of  soul-devel- 
opment, their  beings,  in  some  incomprehensible 
manner,  enter  life  with  a  certain  amount  of 
experience   and  realization  of  truth.     Whence 


THE  ORIGIN  OF  CRIME  65 

that  soul-development,  experience  and  realiza- 
tion of  truth,  you  ask?  I  do  not  know.  I 
shall  discuss  this  matter  in  my  chapter  "  Con- 
jectures." 

There  are  individuals,  then,  whose  beings  are 
in  development  far  below  the  average.  Their 
self-consciousness  is  intense  in  comparison  with 
that  of  the  average  man.  Their  ignorance  of 
universe  and  the  laws  of  life  is  marked.  Their 
knowing  does  not  go  beyond  that  of  the  de- 
mands of  their  self.  They  live  in  total  self- 
absorption,  total  darkness.  Indulging  in  habits 
that  please  their  passions,  their  self,  is  one  of 
their  characteristics.  They  do  not  shrink  from 
taking,  secretly  or  by  force,  the  object  of  their 
desire.  Are  they  not  commanded  by  that  irre- 
sistible voice  of  self  that  overthunders  the  voice 
of  danger,  and  induces  them  to  proceed  at  any 
risk  ?  You  say  that  they  know  better.  I  claim 
that  they  do  not  know  better.  They  know  of 
a  law  that  forbids  them  to  do  certain  things. 
They  fear  this  law,  and  consider  it  to  be  the 
enemy  of  their  self,  the  bereaver  of  their  free- 
dom. They  have  been  told  that  it  is  wicked 
to  lie,  to  steal,  or  to  murder.  They  do  not 
realize  this.  If  they  did  realize  it,  they  would 
not  steal  or  lie.  Their  voice  of  self  is  far 
stronger  than  the  moral  warning  uttered  by 
others;  far  stronger,  even,  than  the  fear  of  a 
penitentiary.     In  fact,  they  cannot  help  being 


66  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

criminals,  for  thej  cannot  help  being  what  they 
are. 

This,  then,  is  the  main  point  of  my  argu- 
ment: A  criminal  commits  his  crimes  because 
his  being  is  what  it  is;  because  his  me  is  still 
in  the  grasp  of  intense,  almost  savage,  self-con- 
sciousness. This  is  not  the  criminal's  fault. 
We  should,  therefore,  condemn  all  crime,  but 
pity  and  nurse  the  criminal.  No  human  being 
is  responsible  for  what  he  is,  not  consciously  re- 
sponsible, at  least,  when  he  enters  life  on  his 
day  of  birth.  Let  us  remember  this  undenia- 
ble fact!  And  crime  is  not  so  much  the  manu- 
factured product  of  the  individual  as  the  neces- 
sary expression  of  his  being,  for  the  degree  of 
development  of  which  he  is  not  responsible. 

Thought  of  self,  the  life-expression  of  self- 
centeredness,  is  the  sole  author  of  all  crime  and 
wickedness.  The  less  self-conscious  the  indi- 
vidual is,  the  nobler  his  actions  and  ideas  are. 
There  are  innumerable  degrees  of  self-conscious- 
ness, and,  consequently,  innumerable  degrees  of 
crime.  Man  himself  has  drawn  the  line  where 
virtue  becomes  wickedness.  His  judgment  is 
based  upon  the  moral  ideal  of  the  race;  which 
ideal,  in  turn,  is  the  expression  of  the  aver- 
age soul-development  of  humanity.  When  a 
man  trespasses  beyond  the  man-made  virtue- 
line,  he  enters   the   domain   of  chastising  law. 


THE  ORIGIN  OF  CRIME  67 

All  other  acts,  actions,  and  ideas  are  not 
criminal  —  in  the  opinion  of  the  world! 

Maybe  there  are  some  highly  developed  be- 
ings who  discover  sin  where  the  average  man 
does  not.  Warfare,  for  instance,  is  considered 
by  millions  of  people  to  be  a  legitimate  under- 
taking. Some,  however,  think  it  damnable  and 
sinful.  Many  Americans,  the  representatives  of 
the  new  race  mentioned  in  my  last  chapter,  vig- 
orously protest  against  the  crime  of  war.  Is 
it  not  a  crime,  after  all?  It  is  the  expression 
of  thought  of  self,  the  worst  enemy  of  human- 
kind at  large  and  the  individual  in  particular. 
Self-interest  (a  more  moderate  term  for  greed 
and  selfishness)  commands  armies  of  soldiers  to 
kill  their  fellow-travellers  through  eternity. 
The  man  who  murders  his  brother  for  the  sake 
of  self,  contracts  a  life-term  in  the  penitentiary 
under  ordinary  circumstances.  The  law  pro- 
nounces him  a  dangerous  criminal.  But  in 
war  .  .  . !     Everything  is  fair  in  war,  they  say 

—  a  logic  that  transcends  the  limits  of  my  com- 
prehension. 

I  will  say,  moreover,  that  a  man  like  Christ 

—  in  my  opinion  the  perfection  of  man-being, 
as  far  as  I  am  able  to  judge  —  must  have  no- 
ticed an  innumerable  variety  of  sinful  qualities 
in  the  human  being,  which  qualities  were  un- 
known to  the  average  mind  of  his  age, —  nay, 


68  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

even  unnoticed  by  the  average  mind  of  to-day! 
Jesus,  however,  did  not  condemn  or  judge  the 
individual,  although  he  strongly  resented  the 
latter's  imperfect  ideas  and  deeds,  proving  to 
me  his  deep  insight  into  the  marvel  of  existence. 
That  man,  Jesus,  must  have  been  a  person 
whose  being  represented  a  soul-development 
which  could  hardly  fit  even  into  our  present  age. 
I  am  not  surprized  that  people  called  him  God, 
and  made  such  a  sorry,  fantastic  mess  of  his 
teachings.  They  could  but  repeat  his  words 
and  parables  without  realizing  their  truth. 
"  Seeing  they  saw  not,  hearing  they  heard  not, 
neither  did  they  understand.  Therefore  spoke 
he  to  them  in  parables." 

Jesus'  soul-development,  I  am  convinced,  was 
such  that  intense  self-consciousness  had  been  al- 
most entirely  replaced  by  All-consciousness. 
His  being,  then,  expressed  thought  for  others, 
thought  of  the  All,  instead  of  thought  of  self. 
His  life  is  a  marvelous  exhibition  of  unselfish- 
ness. We  to-day  cannot  live  up  to  Christ's 
ideals.  Some  people  realize  this  so  deeply 
that,  in  their  ignorance,  they  ridicule  his  ideas. 
Others,  possessed  by  a  religious  fervor,  carefully 
repeat  his  words  and  imitate  his  mode  of  living, 
imagining  often  that  they  are  living  the  life 
of  a  Christ.  More  than  imitation,  however,  is 
needed     for    such     an    accomplishment.     Only 


THE  ORIGIN  OF  CRIME  69 

when  we  are  something  do  we  live  some- 
thing. No  painstaking  exercises,  no  feverish 
repeating  of  holy  utterances, —  nay,  not  even 
faithful  copying  from  a  great  teacher, —  can 
MAKE  us  a  perfect  man.  But  when  we  are  per- 
fect in  soul,  a  perfect  life  and  noble  actions 
are  the  necessary  expressions  of  such  a  soul. 
The  perfecting  of  man's  being  should  be  left  to 
natural  individual  growth,  which  is  furthered 
by  soul-experience.  The  mere  reading  of  a 
good  book,  the  mere  copying  from  a  good 
teacher,  do  not  make  me  good.  All  a  teacher 
and  a  book  can  possibly  accomplish  is  to  clothe 
that  which  I  unconsciously  realize  in  my  soul 
in  hwman  words  and  symbols.  In  other  words, 
a  teacher  or  a  book  may  give  expression  to  what 
I  am.  If  a  true  teaching  is  beyond  my  com- 
prehension, it  is  the  word-expression  of  higher 
developed  beings  than  I  am. 

Jesus  does  not  deserve  credit  for  his  good- 
ness. To  express  goodness  was  a  necessity  to 
him.  He  could  not  very  well  help  being  good ; 
he  was  not  responsible  for  the  perfect  quality 
of  his  being.  Being  aware  of  his  great  under- 
standing, I  expect  him  to  answer  all  praise  and 
flattery  with  this  question :  "  Why  callest  thou 
me  good?  "  Indeed,  what  praise  do  I  deserve 
for  my  goodness  and  generosity.?  Am  I  re- 
sponsible for  what  I  am?     Most  decidedly  not! 


70  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

If  I  am,  I  am  so  unconsciously;  and  one  can- 
not very  well  speak  of  responsibility  in  that 
case. 

This  great  human  family  of  ours  is  a  gather- 
ing of  innumerable  beings  representing  innu- 
merable degrees  of  soul-development.  Each  in- 
dividual realizes,  grasps,  and  perceives  to  the 
extent  his  limit  of  development  allows  him  to. 
Beyond  that  limit  he  cannot  go.  Each  indi- 
vidual's life  is  a  necessary  expression  of  what 
he  is.  Beyond  the  limits  of  his  being  he  can- 
not express  himself.  When  a  person's  being 
is  not  highly  developed,  his  life-expression  — 
his  ideas,  ideals,  ambitions,  and  actions  —  ap- 
pears to  be  far  from  perfect  in  the  opinion  of 
one  whose  being  is  more  advanced.  But  the 
latter  has  no  earthly  right  to  condemn  the 
former.  The  first  person's  actions  are  bad  in 
the  opinion  of  the  second  one.  He,  the  more 
developed,  wiser  being,  should  not  act  in  such 
a  manner;  his  behaviour  would  then  be  sin  in 
the  absolute  sense  of  the  word;  he  would  then 
sin  against  his  better  understanding;  his  ac- 
tions would  not  be  harmonious  with  the  degree 
of  sublimity  of  his  being. 

We  should,  therefore,  condemn  all  wicked- 
ness, but  refrain  from  condemning  the  individ- 
ual. "  Judge  not,  that  ye  may  not  be  judged." 
There  might  be  a  better,  nobler,  wiser  man  who 
might  judge  you,  if  he   so  desired.     All  our 


THE  ORIGIN  OF  CRIME  71 

sympathy  and  nobler  feelings  should  be  the 
criminal's.  Verily,  he  needs  them.  He  is  a 
bom  invalid,  expressing  his  crippled  being  in 
a  most  pitiful  manner,  suffering  heavily  for  ex- 
pressing himself  in  such  an  imperfect  way.  If  his 
wickedness  is  such  that  it  imperils  public  safety, 
we  cannot  do  better  than  be  his  guardian.  Not 
a  frowning,  rough,  cruel,  contempt-expressing 
guardian,  however!  One  cannot  cure  a  patient 
by  loathing  him.  The  criminal  is  just  as  much 
in  need  of  life,  sunshine,  and  impression  as  any 
other  human  being  is.  We  certainly  do  not 
wish  to  kill  that  little  spark  of  soul  in  the  crim- 
inal altogether,  do  we?  No;  our  generous 
Christian  endeavour  is  to  make  it  burst  into  a 
bright  flame. 


VII 

VISIBLE  EXPRESSION  OF  THE 
INVISIBLE 

I  shall  now  discuss  a  subject  well  known  to 
my  intelligent  readers,  the  truth  of  which,  how- 
ever, has  not  struck  him  as  being  beyond  the 
ordinary.  I  am  referring  to  the  subject  of  ex- 
pression. 

Everything  in  this  world  is  the  expression  of 
something  invisible.  When,  for  instance,  I  see 
a  man,  I  do  not  see  the  real  man;  I  merely  see 
the  visible  expression  of  his  invisible,  funda- 
mental being.  This  statement  is  so  logical,  so 
well  known,  that  we  need  not  exhaust  our  supply 
of  arguments  in  order  to  prove  it.  The  ques- 
tion that  interests  us  most  is:  How  can  we 
read  the  invisible,  fundamental  being  from  its 
visible  or  sensible  expression?  It  is  difficult  to 
answer  this  question  with  a  rule  or  a  law.  I 
cannot  make  the  matter  clearer  than  by  stating 
that  the  physical  man  is  the  exact  expression 
of  his  personality  or  soul.  As  an  illustration, 
I  may  refer  to  a  defective  lamp  that  radiates 
imperfect  light,  and  a  good  lamp  giving  better 
light. 

72 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE        73 

Man  is  too  much  inclined  to  know  a  combi- 
nation of  form,  color,  and  substance  to  be  the 
real  thing.  A  study  of  his  self  may  easily  con- 
vince him  that  his  idea  is  an  erroneous  one. 
This  marvelous  body-machinery  of  mine  is,  after 
all,  but  the  servant  of  my  real  me.  I  com- 
mand it  to  move;  it  obeys.  It  would  even  ap- 
pear that  certain  parts  of  the  body  have  been 
given  self-government  in  order  to  reduce  the 
rush  at  headquarters. 

Did  you  ever  pay  much  attention  to  a  state- 
ment made  by  an  expert  on  criminology :  "  He 
is  the  type  of  a  criminal  "  ?  Is  the  physical 
man  the  criminal,  or  is  that  bodily  appearance 
merely  the  visible  expression  of  the  little-de- 
veloped being.'' 

Did  you  ever  study  the  features,  the  appear- 
ance, of  a  great  man.''  No  doubt  you  have. 
Our  novels  and  magazines  teem  with  descrip- 
tions of  great  and  noble  men,  of  heroes  and 
martyrs.  We  read  of  firm  features,  strong 
chins,  noble  brows,  belonging  to  the  strong  and 
noble  soul;  of  well-shaped  hands  and  soulful 
eyes  belonging  to  the  artist;  of  knitting  eye- 
brows, lips  pressed  tightly  together  in  deter- 
mination, and  the  somber  looks  of  a  man  with 
a  selfish  will.  And  our  heroine,  whose  soul  as 
a  rule  is  spotless,  is  pictured  as  the  visible  mani- 
festation of  beauty  itself. 

It  is,  indeed,  a  peculiar  law  that  gives  j>ar- 


74  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

ticular  features  to  a  particular  being.  I  never 
saw  a  noble  brow  that  did  not  hide  a  noble 
soul;  nor  clearly  cut,  prominent  features  that 
did  not  reveal  strong  qualities  of  the  individual ; 
nor  thick  lips,  little  mouse-ears,  and  half-closed, 
restless  eyes  that  did  not  speak  of  selfishness 
and  cunning.  And  even  a  man's  way  of  eating, 
sleeping,  walking,  dressing  —  nay,  a  man's  way 
of  doing  anything  —  betrays  the  nature  and 
the  quality  of  his  real  being.  Man's  physical 
appearance  is  an  open  book;  rather  deceptive, 
often,  to  a  beginner,  but  nevertheless  a  faithful 
positive  copy  of  an  inner  negative.  A  crowded 
restaurant  to  me  is  a  big  human  library.  The 
contents  of  the  various  volumes  are  hidden,  but 
the  quality  of  the  covers  is  in  perfect  harmony 
with  the  quality  of  the  texts.  The  greedy,  self- 
ish man  cannot  eat  without  annoying  his  neigh- 
bor with  his  slobbish  mouth-music.  The  vain 
woman  (a  faithful  expression  of  selfishness  and, 
in  last  analysis,  intense  self-consciousness)  em- 
ploys the  most  dignified  grimaces  and  move- 
ments of  her  arms  and  hands  to  finish  her  meal. 
The  dreamer  throws  salt  into  his  coffee,  and 
is  totally  oblivious  to  his  surroundings.  The 
travelling  salesman  in  particular  and  the  little 
idealistic  person  in  general,  make  themselves 
heard  all  over  the  place.  Full  of  interest  is 
this  world!  It  never  threatens  me  with  the 
dread  of  society  —  ennui. 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE       76 

So  innumerable  are  the  visible  expressions  of 
invisible  being  that  a  good-sized  volume  might 
easily  be  written  on  the  subject.  The  point  I 
wish  to  emphasize,  however,  is  that  man's  ap- 
pearance is  the  exact  expression  of  his  being.  I 
am  tempted  to  make  a  more  daring  statement, 
and  say  that  the  personality,  in  some  incom- 
prehensible manner,  has  shaped  a  body  for  itself, 
the  quality  of  which  is  in  harmony  with  its  own ; 
that  the  me  of  man,  moreover,  absolutely  con- 
trols its  own  appearance,  whether  man  is  con- 
scious of  this  fact  or  not.  I  am  inclined  to  be- 
lieve this,  because  I  have  noticed  that  highly  sen- 
sitive people  reflect  their  soul-disturbance  in 
their  bodily  appearance.  They  are  generally 
sick.  Doctors  prescribe  diets,  pills,  and  poison, 
without  being  able  to  cure  them.  The  trouble, 
however,  is  not  rooted  in  the  physical  organs  or 
the  body.  The  latter  are  misbehaving  because 
headquarters  refuse  to  behave.  A  soul-tonic  in 
such  cases  is  needed,  not  a  pill  or  a  dose  of 
poison. 

And  where,  may  I  ask,  is  that  impression, 
sorrow,  rooted?  In  man's  being,  no  doubt. 
And  see  how  faithfully  this  impression  of  sor- 
row is  expressed  by  the  physical  apj>earance! 
The  body  stoops ;  the  face  is  marked  with  lines ; 
bodily  health,  as  a  rule,  declines.  Happiness 
likewise  expresses  itself  in  the  most  visible  man- 
ner in  the  body  of  man.     The  best  tonic  for 


76  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

a  sick  person  is  contentment  or,  perhaps,  a 
hearty  laugh. 

I  have  known  a  remarkable  case  of  an  indi- 
vidual who  in  a  short  time  entirely  changed 
his  personality.  He  suddenly  woke  from  an  in- 
different attitude  towards  existence  to  a  vivid 
interest  in  its  laws.  Within  a  year  he  devel- 
oped great  gifts  and  noble  qualities.  The 
change  in  his  physical  appearance,  as  a  result 
of  the  change  in  his  personality,  was  astonish- 
ing. He  had  grown  several  inches;  his  walk 
had  become  more  erect;  his  features  had  grown 
more  prominent. 

I  stated  that  man's  personality,  be  it  con- 
sciously or  unconsciously,  controls  the  body. 
This  means  infinitely  more  than  we  may  think 
at  first  consideration.  We  must  remember  that 
the  body  is  made  up  of  innumerable  molecules 
and  atoms ;  that  each  particle  is  life,  or,  I  should 
say,  is  controlled  by  an  individual  me.  We 
have  seen  that  everything  in  universe  is  in  re- 
ality nothing  but  a  degree  of  self-conscious- 
ness; that  an  intense  degree  of  self-conscious- 
ness expresses  intense  limitation,  and  is  over- 
ruled by  a  less  degree.  The  animal,  for  in- 
stance, is  master  over  the  plant ;  the  human  be- 
ing rules  over  animal  and  plant  both ;  the  highly 
developed  man  over  his  less  developed  brother. 
And  it  would  appear  that  man's  being  in  the 
course   of  evolution  attracts  beings   of  lower 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE       77 

development,  shapes  them  into  the  visible  ex- 
pression of  his  self,  and  absolutely  controls  them 
as  their  lord  and  master. 

Everything,  no  matter  how  low  in  develop- 
ment, fits  in  an  incomprehensible  manner  into 
the  existence  of  higher  developed  beings. 
Gases,  minerals,  animals,  and  plants  are  neces- 
sary to  man's  life.  Gases,  minerals,  and  plants 
are  the  necessary  slaves  of  the  animal.  Gases 
and  minerals  are  the  necessary  victims  of  the 
plant.  This  universe  is  a  huge  slave-market, 
where  greater  development  controls  and  utilizes 
a  lesser  development.  The  king  of  slavehold- 
ers in  man,  who,  being  the  least  self-conscious 
of  all  beings,  is  master  over  them  all.  I  am 
not  ashamed  to  admit  that  I  lack  the  power  of 
expression  needed  to  picture  the  immensity  and 
intricacy  of  life's  machinery. 

Man's  physical  appearance  is  not  the  only 
expression  of  what  he  is.  His  ideals,  customs, 
religions,  ambitions,  laws,  products  of  art  and 
inventions,  all  hint  at  his  real  being.  The  re- 
ligion of  the  Jews,  as  expressed  in  the  Old  Tes- 
tament, clearly  shows  what  undeveloped  beings 
those  inhabitants  of  the  "  Holy  Land "  must 
have  been.  Their  religion  was  but  an  expres- 
sion of  their  soul-development.  It  strongly 
savors  of  greed,  selfishness,  and  barbarism. 
Their  god  existed  within  the  limits  of  their 
comprehension,  their  sense  of  generosity,  beauty. 


78  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

and  justice.  This  omnipotent  being  was  sus- 
ceptible to  flattery,  easily  bribed,  and  preju- 
diced beyond  comprehension.  He  was  the 
feared  but  intimate  friend  of  the  Jews,  and  the 
destructive  foe  of  their  enemies.  He  assisted 
them  in  the  most  barbaric  manner  in  destroy- 
ing the  foe  of  Israel.  Woman  nor  babe  was 
spared  by  him.  Murder,  adultery,  and  deceit- 
ful tricks  were  employed  by  this  all-powerful 
being  to  revenge  himself  upon  the  enemy  of  his 
"  chosen  people."  Of  course,  I  do  not  believe 
a  word  of  all  the  terrible  things  the  "  inspired  " 
barbarians  wrote  about  this  god.  I  am  hap- 
pily confident  in  my  opinion  that  he  never  ex- 
isted. This,  however,  is  the  interesing  fact  I 
learn  from  the  Old  Testament's  accounts,  that 
the  god-idea  is  the  exact  expression  of  the  in- 
dividual's development.  As  I  am,  thus  is  my 
god.  A  savage  has  a  cruder  conception  of  the 
power  or  powers  that  rule  universe  than  a  civ- 
ilized man  has.  The  individual  who  is  little  ac- 
quainted with  the  laws  governing  existence,  gen- 
erally knows  of  two  gods, —  the  god  of  good- 
ness, which  he  names  God,  and  the  god  of  wick- 
edness, which  he  names  the  Devil.  And  the 
more  developed  the  individual  is,  the  more  truth- 
ful is  his  conception  of  the  ruling  power  of  im- 
mensity. 

Needless  to  say  that  art  and  literature  are 
the  expressions  of  man's  real  being.     A  painter 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE       79 

visibly  expresses  his  ideal  on  canvas.  In  his 
painting  you  behold  him  to  the  utmost  limits 
of  his  soul-quality.  A  close  observer  may  dis- 
cover from  that  orderly  arranged  heap  of  shade 
and  color  the  good  and  bad  qualities,  the  ideas 
and  ideals,  of  its  creator.  Also  from  Chopin's 
beautifully  sad  waltzes,  nocturnes  and  ballads 
may  we  learn  a  great  deal  about  the  composer's 
nature. 

Is  there,  indeed,  anything  touching  our  or- 
dinary daily  lives  that  does  not  reveal  some- 
thing of  the  nature  of  man?  I  may  mention 
clothes,  for  example.  The  gaudiness,  the  neat- 
ness, the  refined  and  subtle  arrangement  of 
clothes,  speak  volumes  indeed.  Vivid  colors, — 
as  red,  for  instance, —  are  generally  worn  by 
the  individual  whose  chief  ambition  is  the  satis- 
fying of  self.  I  do  not  mean  to  imply  that  a 
person  necessarily  has  such  a  nature  when  he 
wears  red.  But  when  his  being  is  little  devel- 
oped, he  expresses  this  fact  in  one  way  by  dis- 
playing a  liking  for  vivid  colors.  I  am  re- 
minded of  the  interesting  fact  that  nature 
adorns  itself  in  bright  colors.  When  I  say  "  na- 
ture," I  refer  to  those  beings  that  are  less  de- 
veloped and  more  intensely  in  the  grip  of  self- 
consciousness  than  man  is.  Red  is  one  of  the 
predominant  colors  in  nature.  Buds  and  twigs 
are  generally  red  first,  then  change  their  hue 
into   brown    and   green.     Many    birds    attract 


80  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

members  of  the  opposite  sex  with  their  gaudy 
plumage.  A  specie  of  monkeys  have  a  bright 
red  spot  on  a  certain  part  of  their  body,  and 
turn  this  vividly  hued  spot  towards  the  female 
in  order  to  attract  her.  Other  animals,  again, 
attract  the  opposite  sex  by  emitting  a  natural 
odor,  which  method  is  faithfully  copied  by 
woman  in  an  artificial  manner.  The  very  sen- 
sual woman  generally  carries  with  her  the  over- 
whelming odor  of  an  abundance  of  manufac- 
tured perfume.  Everything,  I  say,  even  unto 
the  most  trivial  action  and  fact,  is  an  expres- 
sion of  man's  inner  being,  and  indicative  of  his 
soul-development. 

Here  in  America,  where  a  new  and  more  ad- 
vanced race  is  being  born,  we  notice  expressions 
of  man's  being  which  are  totally  unknown  in 
othei  countries.  Our  attention  is  first  of  all 
drawn  to  the  physical  appearance  of  the  Ameri- 
can man.  From  the  melting-pot  of  different 
nationalities  and  their  various  types  of  physi- 
cal expression  is  emerging  an  altogether  new 
physical  man.  His  like  is  not  to  be  found 
across  the  Atlantic.  I  am  of  opinion  that  this 
new  man  is  good  to  behold.  Rather  tall  in 
stature,  with  frank,  penetrating  eyes,  strong 
features  —  well-develoj>ed  jawbones,  chin,  and 
Roman  nose, —  he  suggests  to  me  the  qualities 
of  strength,  perseverance,  and  nobility.  His 
features    do    not    suggest    brutal,    but    moral, 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE       81 

strength.  Such  being  is  able  to  face  the  entire 
world  and  a  dainty  sweetheart  both,  in  an  irre- 
proachable manner. 

There  is  a  great  deal  of  noble  sentiment  in 
this  strong  American  man,  greater,  indeed,  than 
he  is  willing  to  admit.  This  sentiment  is  ex- 
pressed in  his  finely  shaped  nostrils,  in  his  eyes 
and  eyebrows ;  also,  very  truly,  in  his  artistic 
creations  —  his  songs,  for  example.  (I  do  not 
class  ragtime  music  among  "  artistic  crea- 
tions.") Our  brothers  across  the  water  gen- 
erally believe  that  Americans  do  not  have  a 
taste  for  music  and  beauty.  They  are  gravely 
mistaken.  Where  classical  music,  for  instance, 
is  the  property  of  a  few  genii  and  the  educated 
classes  of  Europe,  it  is  public  property  in  Amer- 
ica. It  has  struck  me  that  patrons  of  ordi- 
nary, everyday-life  cafeterias  and  twenty-cent- 
shows  apparently  demand,  and  certainly  re- 
ceive, music  which  in  Europe  is  enjoyed  by  so- 
called  privileged  classes.  In  Europe  one  seeks 
in  vain  for  an  ordinary  lunch-place  where 
meals  are  served  with  musical  renderings  from 
Thais,  Schubert,  Brahms,  Dvorak, —  music 
which  can  only  be  appreciated  by  the  soul  that 
harbors  beauty  as  one  of  its  qualities. 

In  a  foregoing  chapter  I  remarked  that  the 
American's  ideas  and  ideals  are  the  expressions 
of  his  being;  that  these  ideas  and  ideals  are 
the  most  advanced  of  the  age  for  the  reason 


82  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

that  they  are  the  expressions  of  an  advanced 
being.  In  connection  with  this  subject  I  will 
point  to  America's  skyscrapers.  These  tower- 
ing giants  are  steel-and-stone-expressions  of 
American  mentality  and  universality.  They 
roughly  express  the  greatness  of  their  creator's 
being.  They  are  the  American  soul  solidified, — 
a  soul  that  is  to  a  great  extent  All-conscious, 
inclined  to  soar  the  depths  of  the  heavens  in 
search  of  knowledge  regarding  the  laws  of  ex- 
istence. An  America  with  two-  or  three- 
story  buildings  only  is  unthinkable.  Man's  be- 
ing expresses  itself  visibly  in  such  a  manner 
that  the  expression  becomes  a  manifestation  be- 
longing exclusively  to  its  particular  degree  of 
development. 

But  enough  about  expression  of  man-being. 
One  might  devote  an  entire  volume  to  this  par- 
ticular subject.  Its  existence  may  be  discov- 
ered and  studied  by  the  analytical  mind.  We 
cannot  make  the  same  statement  about  the  ex- 
pression of  the  lower  developed  beings  that 
share  our  earthly  home.  In  fact,  man  has  ever 
been  loath  to  recognize  the  principles  that  gov- 
ern his  being  in  that  of  the  animal  or  plant. 
He  has  ever  considered  himself  to  be  existing  in 
absolute  separation  from  the  rest  of  universe. 
Man,  universe,  and  God  —  such  has  ever  been 
his  division  of  the  All.  I  am  inclined  to  blame 
his   intense   self-consciousness   for  his   mistake. 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE       83 

My  knowledge  and  observation-power  would  in- 
form me  of  the  fact  that  there  exists  one  uni- 
verse, in  which  man  figures  as  its  most  noble 
and  most  developed  member.  All  members  are 
governed  by  identical  laws,  which  operate  dif- 
ferently, however,  and  in  harmony  with  the 
degree  of  development  of  the  being  acted  upon. 
And  even  as  man's  physical  appearance  is  an 
expression  of  his  real  being,  thus,  I  am  con- 
vinced, are  the  flower,  the  animal,  nay,  even  the 
grain  of  sand,  visible  expressions  of  being. 
And  the  expression  corresponds  with  a  certain 
degree  of  development. 

Nature  is  a  huge  stepladder,  divided  into  four 
(or  perhaps  more)  minor  ladders  joined  to- 
gether. The  reprensentative  of  the  lowest  lad- 
der expresses  itself  through  apparent  lifeless- 
ness;  of  the  second,  through  life  confined  to 
one  spot;  of  the  third,  through  life  expressing 
greater  freedom  of  movement  and  an  absorb- 
ing struggle  for  existence;  of  the  fourth, 
through  a  still  greater  freedom, —  a  refined,  al- 
most artful,  struggle  for  existence,  and  a  dis- 
tinctly smaller  degree  of  self-centeredness. 

Universe,  as  we  see  it,  is  not  the  real  uni- 
verse. It  is  the  reflected  expression  of  an  in- 
visible world  of  various  degrees  of  self-con- 
sciousness. Did  you  ever  drink  the  beauty  of 
a  full-blown  rose,  standing  mute  and  fragrant 
in  the  cool,  silver  moonlight?     You  were  con- 


84  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

scious  of  something  more  than  its  lovely-shaped 
petals  and  its  soft  odor.  There  was  a  some- 
thing speaking  through  and  behind  that  rose- 
form, —  something  undefinable.  .  .  .  This  same 
undefinable  something  is  softly  penetrating 
through  the  dim  objects  of  a  twilight-scene. 
The  tall  trees,  appearing  like  giant  sentinels 
standing  immovable  in  the  glimmer  of  a  dark 
blue-yellow  background,  are  the  materialized  re- 
flection-dreams of  something  else. 


The  most  sublime  expression  I  know  is  that 
of  love  between  man  and  woman, —  so  sublime, 
indeed,  that  I  will  endeavour  to  show  that  this 
inspiration  of  all  life  is  something  more  than 
the  vapor  of  sentimentality  and  imagination. 

To  love  is  to  be  the  one  you  love.  The 
lover  should  only  then  cry  out  from  the  depths 
of  his  heart  when  he  has  at  least  reached 
the  degree  of  soul-beauty  of  his  beloved  one. 
Then  only  does  he  know  her,  for  her  being  is 
then  contained  in  his;  she  is  he,  and  he  is  she: 
they  are  one. 

Even  as  a  man  must  be  beauty  himself  in 
order  to  be  able  to  perceive  and  know  the  in- 
finite beauty  of  universe  —  thus  must  the  lover's 
being  contain  the  qualities  of  his  beloved's  soul 
so  that  he  may  know  and  be  his  beloved.  And 
when  he  knows  her  because  he  is  she,  he  loves 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE       85 

her.  Such  love,  which  is  the  ideal  love,  is  as 
rare  as  the  lily  in  the  desert. 

When  the  beloved  is  not  near,  the  lover  misses 
her  as  he  would  miss  his  self  when  lost  in  an 
empty  wilderness.  Their  souls  have  mingled; 
they  have  become  one.  And  as  all  the  universe 
is  the  visible  expression  of  invisible  soul,  as 
invisible  grief  and  joy  are  visibly  painted  on 
the  countenance,  thus  is  the  unseen  mingling 
of  two  souls  expressed  by  a  kiss,  by  enfolding 
arms,  and  by  intermingling  bodies.  Those  who 
are  one  in  soul  express  this  unity  in  every  re- 
spect. But  those  who  desire  the  physical  em- 
brace only,  sin  in  the  face  of  almighty  truth. 

Loving  his  beloved,  her  being  is  a  part  of 
that  of  her  lover.  Therefore,  no  wall  of  dis- 
tant respect  and  admiration  separates  him 
from  her.  He  delights  in  knowing  her  to  be 
his  playmate  for  life.  Is  he  not  she.'*  Is  not 
the  happiness  of  two  lovers  caused  by  a  per- 
fect companionship  similar  to  that  of  two  chil- 
dren.? Many  an  unhappily  wedded  man  ex- 
pressed more  admiration  and  respect  than  love 
for  his  life-companion, —  cool,  awe-inspiring  re- 
spect and  admiration, —  because  he  did  not  know 
her ;  because  he  was  not  she,  and  therefore  could 
not  love  her. 

Love  is  confident.  When  a  man  loves,  he 
knows  it.  Neither  fear  nor  possibilities  can 
shake  the  inward  knowledge  of  his  love.     To- 


86  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

day?  He  loves  her.  To-morrow?  He  will 
love  her.  When  a  doubt  creeps  in  his  heart, 
suggesting  that  he  may  not  love  her  to-morrow, 
he  does  not  really  love  her  to-day. 

The  perfect  love  is  highly  sensitive.  Because 
the  lover  is  his  beloved,  each  feeling  of  affection 
she  withholds  from  him  is  a  wound  in  his  soul. 
The  perfect  lover  is  sad  at  heart  when  his  be- 
loved bestows  her  affections  upon  another  man, 
for  he  loses  a  part  of  his  own  being  whenever 
she  gives  her  soul,  partly  or  wholly,  to  his 
rival. 

Love  is  also  generous  and  unselfish.  What- 
ever the  intensity  of  pain  in  the  wounded  soul, 
it  can  be  borne  and  even  cherished  by  the  per- 
fect lover.  Real  love  does  not  demand,  does 
not  claim.  It  gives.  And  giving,  it  allows  the 
beloved  one  a  boundless  freedom  in  choosing 
her  own  happiness.  Marriage  is  happiness, 
and  blended  souls  are  most  content,  when  the 
lovers  are  unselfish  and  give  freedom  one  to  the 
other. 

Love  is  inspiration.  The  loving  soul  is  be- 
ing endowed  with  the  qualities  of  beauty,  gen- 
erosity, tenderness,  and  mercy.  And  as  uni- 
verse is  ugly  when  perceived  by  an  ugly  soul, 
and  beautiful  when  a  beautiful  soul  is  conscious 
of  it,  thus  is  all  the  world  a  veritable  para- 
dise to  him  who  is  a  true  lover.  All  great, 
creating  souls  received  their  inspiration  from 


EXPRESSION  OF  INVISIBLE       87 

the  woman  they  adored,  even  when  an  unan- 
swered love  stirred  the  beauteous  depths  of  a 
slumbering  being. 

The  noble,  unselfish  soul  is  not  defeated  by 
an  unanswered  love.  The  man  does  not  ask; 
his  love  merely  asks  for  a  soul  to  worship,  even 
as  a  flower,  by  its  very  nature,  asks  for  the 
vitalizing  sun-glow.  The  real  lover  gives,  and 
that  which  he  gives  is  love.  Moreover,  he  is  a 
man,  and  suflBciently  unselfish  to  be  able  to 
bear  sorrow  and  disappointment.  An  unan- 
swered love  shall  ever  be  a  divine  test  of  a  soul's 
unselfishness. 

This,  then,  is  love  —  the  expression  of  two 
blending  souls. 


VIII 
WHAT  IS  TRUTH? 

It  is  true  that  the  apple  tree  blossoms  in 
Spring.  It  is  true  that  the  average  tempera- 
ture of  the  temperate  zones  is  higher  than  that 
of  the  Arctic  regions.  It  is  true  that  two  vol- 
umes of  hydrogen  and  one  volume  of  oxygen, 
under  certain  conditions,  form  water.  How  do 
we  know  these  facts  to  be  true?  Did  we  ever 
hear  anyone  contradict  these  statements?  No 
one  ever  did.  For  the  truth  of  these  state- 
ments can  be  verified,  directly  or  indirectly,  by 
observation.  This  truth  relates  to  the  physical 
world,  the  appearance  of  universe.  Our  five 
senses  are  the  observing  powers  that  report 
their  experiences  to  their  master,  the  brain, 
which  is  the  seat  of  man's  intellect. 

I  will  name  this  truth  that  can  be  known,  di- 
rectly or  indirectly,  by  observation,  physical 
truth.  And  I  will  name  the  amount  of  physical 
truth  known  by  an  individual,  his  physical  or 
intellectual  knowledge. 

Each  of  us  has  intellectual  knowledge.  A 
person  may  use  his  powers  of  observation  to 
the  utmost  capacity.     His   intellectual   knowl- 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  89 

edge  may  be  vast.  We  call  him  learned,  and 
offer  him  the  position  of  professor  at  our  uni- 
versity. But  a  person  with  a  great  intellectual 
knowledge  does  no  more  than  analyze  the  ap- 
pearance of  universe.  Even  when  he  knows  all 
there  is  to  be  known  about  the  physical  world, 
he  may  yet  be  totally  ignorant  about  the  foun- 
dation of  the  appearance.  Existence  may  yet 
be  an  absolute  mystery  to  him. 

There  exists  another  truth,  dealing  not  with 
the  physical  appearance  of  universe,  but  with 
universe  itself.  I  often  wish  that  every  one 
could  agree  about  this  truth.  There  would 
then  be  less  creeds,  dogmas,  and  philosophies. 
Bitter  arguments  and  creed-hatred  would  be 
superfluous.  Mental  tyranny  and  arrogance 
would  find  no  place  in  this  life.  Alas!  it  is 
impossible  that  all  people  agree  upon  the  sub- 
ject, existence  in  its  reality.  For  where  physi- 
cal truth  may  be  tangibly  verified  to  the  ex- 
tent of  our  physical  observation-power,  the 
truth  about  the  real  universe  is  primarily  real- 
ized in  our  being,  our  consciousness,  our  per- 
sonality. And  as  there  exist  innumerable  de- 
grees of  being,  there  should  be  found  innumera- 
ble degrees  of  this  existence-knowledge. 

To  give  an  instance  of  the  possibility  of  dis- 
agreement about  this  truth:  How  can  you 
convince  me  that  you  speak  the  truth  when  you 
say   that   I   am   a  perfect   image   of   God?     I 


90  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

cannot  verify  your  statement  by  observation. 
I  never  saw  God.  I  never  observed  God  by 
means  of  any  of  my  physical  senses.  I  refuse 
to  believe,  unless  my  belief  takes  the  form  of  a 
logical  conclusion.  The  result  will  be  that  you 
call  me  a  heretic,  an  atheist,  or  a  devil,  and 
that  I  accuse  you  of  being  illogical  and  super- 
stitious. 

I  will  name  this  truth  that  deals  with  exist- 
ence in  its  reality,  spiritual  truth.  And  I 
will  name  the  amount  of  spiritual  truth  realized 
by  an  individual,  his  soul-knowledge  or  wis- 
dom. We  should,  furthermore,  when  referring 
to  intellectual  knowledge,  speak  of  know- 
ing; when  referring  to  wisdom,  of  realizing. 
For  one  may  know  something  intellectually 
without  fully  realizing  it  spiritually.  A  per- 
son may  acquaint  me  with  a  spiritual  truth 
which  appears  logical  and  reasonable  to  my 
intellect.  My  failure  to  apply  or  live  up  to 
this  truth  in  my  daily  life  should  prove,  how- 
ever, that  I  do  not  realize  this  truth.  The 
criminal,  for  example,  knows  that  it  is  wrong 
to  steal,  but  he  does  not  realize  it. 

Man  has  been  too  anxious  to  know  his  brain 
or  his  intellect  to  be  the  "  real  thing."  The 
intellect  is  but  a  servant  of  man's  being  or  con- 
sciousness. It  is,  moreover,  an  acquisition. 
Man-evolution  gradually  demanded  an  intellect 
that  would  assimilate  and  analyze  physical  im- 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  91 

pressions.  There  are,  however,  numerous  im- 
pressions that  do  not  reach  the  brain  through 
the  various  channels  of  sense.  They  reach  the 
consciousness  directly,  without  the  individual 
being  aware  of  them.  Only  when  these  impres- 
sions are  transferred  to  the  intellect,  and  there 
analyzed,  do  we  become  aware  of  having  had 
an  impression.  The  little-developed  beings  of 
universe  receive  their  impressions  in  the  above 
described  direct  manner.  They  possess  no  in- 
tellect to  analyze  their  impressions.  They  are 
not  aware  of  being  conscious. 

That  there  exists  a  close  relationship  and  a 
separation  both,  between  intellect  and  con- 
sciousness is  proven  by  several  interesting  facts. 
I  may,  for  instance,  analyze  visible  universe  in- 
tellectually. Meditating  upon  its  magnitude 
and  its  complicated  life-machinery,  I  shall  grad- 
ually impress  my  consciousness.  My  being  be- 
comes aglow  with  the  sense  of  beauty.  I  feel 
inspired  and  strong.  These  same  sensations 
may  be  obtained  directly,  without  an  intermedi- 
ate intellectual  analysis.  I  need  but  look  at 
the  world,  and  shall  obtain  the  same  results. 
The  beauty  of  a  piece  of  music  need  not  be 
analyzed  intellectually;  it  may  be  felt.  The 
soul-beauty  of  your  beloved  one  is  not  al- 
ways analyzed  intellectually;  as  a  rule  it  is 
felt.  And  the  impression  universe  leaves  upon 
your  being  need  not  be  caused  by  intellectual 


92  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

analysis;  it  can  be  felt  directly,  even  when  our 
intellect  is  totally  inactive. 

We  may,  on  the  other  hand,  analyze  these 
direct  impressions  intellectually.  This  is,  very 
often,  a  hopeless  task.  Our  intellect  is  but  a 
coarse  reproduction  of  our  consciousness.  It 
is  unable  to  register  in  thought  and  idea  the 
subtler  impressions  of  our  being. 

Impression,  then,  may  have  travelled  along 
two  different  roads:  Objects,  senses,  intellect, 
and  consciousness;  or  object,  consciousness,  in- 
tellect. 

I  never  saw  a  man  whose  being  was  highly 
developed  who  did  not  also  have  a  highly  de- 
veloped intellect.  The  highly  developed  man  is 
comparatively  little  self-conscious,  and  ex- 
presses his  being  through  generosity,  broad- 
mindedness,  high  morals  and  principles.  You 
shall  invariably  find  such  a  man  to  be  the  owner 
of  an  uncommon  intellect.  Neither  did  I  ever 
meet  a  little  developed  being  with  a  great  in- 
tellect. There  exists  a  relationship  between  in- 
tellect and  consciousness,  although  they  func- 
tion differently.  Intellect  corresponds  chiefly 
with  the  visible  appearance  of  universe,  con- 
sciousness with  the  invisible,  real  universe. 
There  does  not,  however,  exist  a  distinct  sep- 
aration between  the  two.  The  one  gradually 
flows  into  the  other. 

I    shall    now    proceed    to    discuss    spiritual 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  93 

truth,  for  the  reason  that  it  is  the  cause  of 
much  bitterness,  arguing  and  hatred.  It  is, 
moreover,  the  fundamental  truth  of  universe. 
Physical  truth  is  but  a  coarse  expression  of 
spiritual  truth,  to  which  I  shall  from  now  on 
simply  refer  as  "  truth." 

Truth  is  but  partly  known  to  man.  If  he 
knew  it  in  its  entirety,  he  would  know  absolute 
truth,  which  is  the  only  truth  that  permeates 
universe  from  world-center  to  world-center*. 
Man  knows  but  a  part  of  the  absolute  truth. 
The  truth  he  knows  and  utters  is  relative  truth. 
Absolute  truth  is  universe  itself.  It  is  exist- 
ence in  the  absolute  sense.  It  is  to  be  in  the 
absolute  sense.  Absolute  truth  is  perfection, 
which  cannot  be  questioned.  If  man  knew  the 
absolute  truth,  he  would  not  be  tempted  to  ask 
questions.  All  there  is  to  be  known  would  be 
known  by  him.     Nothing  would  puzzle  him. 

Viewed  from  a  relative  standpoint,  absolute 
truth  is  no  truth,  for  the  reason  that  it  is  in- 
finite. If  man  ever  masters  absolute  truth,  he 
shall  never  know  about  it.  To  know  is  to  be 
partly  ignorant  about  the  whole  truth.  All 
measurable  knowledge  is  proof  of  ignorance  and 
imperfection.  If  man  knew  the  whole  truth,  he 
would  not  be  able  to  say :  "  So  much  I  know, 
and  so  much  I  do  not  know."  To  measure  his 
knowledge  should  be  an  impossibility.  There 
would  be  no  ignorance  to  measure  it  by. 


94.  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

It  has,  perhaps,  become  clear  that  we  can- 
not, in  our  present  imperfection  at  least,  con- 
ceive of  absolute  truth  and  absolute  knowing. 
When  absolute  knowing  has  become  a  fact,  rela- 
tive knowing  ceases. 

Man's  knowledge  is  relative.  To  know  is 
TO  BE.  When  making  this  statement,  I  do  not 
refer  to  intellectual  knowledge,  which  is  but  an 
outgrowth  of  spiritual  knowledge;  I  refer  to 
that  knowledge  which  amounts  to  soul-realiza- 
tion. The  man  who  is  inwardly  convinced  that 
he  should  be  generous,  broad-minded,  and  high- 
principled,  knows  and  realizes  something  be- 
cause he  IS  that  something.  A  degree  of  exist- 
ence-knowledge is  the  life-expression  of  a  de- 
gree of  BEING.  The  most  intense  self-con- 
sciousness is  the  opposite  pole  of  to  be  in  the 
absolute  sense  or  absolute  All-consciousness. 
There  exist  billions  of  intermediate  stages  be- 
tween these  two  extremes.  If  we  suppose  the 
hypothetical  ether  to  be  the  most  intensely  self- 
conscious  something  in  the  universe,  we  know  of 
the  following  higher  stages  of  being:  electron, 
atom,  plant,  animal,  man.  Each  of  these  be- 
ings IS,  and  the  is-ness  of  each  of  them  is  noth- 
ing but  a  knowing  or  realization. 

How  can  I  possibly  love  my  neighbor  unless 
I  realize  in  my  soul  that  to  do  so  is  to  be  truth 
itself?  How  can  I  live  the  truth  unless  I  am 
that   truth.?     You   cannot   compel   me   to  love 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  95 

my  neighbor.  All  your  sermons  are  of  no 
avail.  When  I  force  myself  to  live  up  to  your 
moral  teachings,  I  am  merely  unnatural.  Nay, 
I  must  BE  truth  in  order  to  live  it.  My  being 
must  be  a  certain  degree  of  sublimity ;  then  only 
do  I  live  and  know  that  degree  of  sublimity. 

The  different  degrees  of  human  knowledge 
are  explained  by  the  different  degrees  of  self- 
consciousness  of  the  human  beings.  I  do  not 
claim  to  know  absolute  truth.  If  I  did,  I  should 
not  be  here,  wondering  about  existence.  But 
I  do  maintain  that  self-consciousness,  with  its 
various  degrees,  is  the  key  to  the  situation  of 
changeable  universe.  There  are  no  words  avail- 
able to  express  this  strange  something,  self- 
consciousness.  I  can  but  say  that  it  is  self- 
centeredness,  an  awareness  of  self,  a  center  of 
relative  being  in  a  world  of  all-being  or  not- 
relative-being.  A  self-conscious  being  is  chiefly 
aware  of  self.  Its  self  is  a  universe.  The 
more  intense  its  awareness  of  self  is,  the  less 
it  can  know  about  the  whole  universe  or  the 
whole  truth.  We  shall  see,  then,  that  the 
greatly  self-centered  being  is  ignorant.  The 
life-expressions  of  the  degrees  of  his  develop- 
ment are  selfishness  and  ignorance.  This  igno- 
rance is  both  spiritual  and  intellectual.  His 
intellectual  ignorance  is  but  a  secondary  igno- 
rance. The  primary  ignorance  is  rooted  in  his 
being,  nay,  it  is  his  being. 


96  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

We  shall  see  that  the  least  self-centered  be- 
ing is  the  wisest,  and,  often,  the  most  learned. 
His  awareness  of  self  not  being  so  intense,  he  is 
receptive  to  impression  and  knowledge.  His 
knowledge  is  both  spiritual  and  intellectual. 
His  intellectual  knowledge,  again,  is  but  sec- 
ondary. The  primary  knowledge  is  rooted  in 
his  being;  it  is  his  being.  He  is,  in  being,  a 
certain  degree  of  truth.  The  life-expressions 
of  his  being  are  generosity,  wisdom,  knowledge, 
and  high  morals  and  principles. 

Had  I  but  words  at  my  disposal  to  express 
my  meaning!  Our  only  salvation  is  to  know 
the  truth  by  being  the  truth.  To  know  truth 
is  often  all  we  can  do.  To  express  our  soul- 
knowledge  is  often  an  impossibility. 

In  connection  with  the  above  statements,  I 
shall  now  make  a  plea  for  freedom  of  thought. 
Only  ignorance  can  be  the  cause  of  mental 
tyranny.  To  command  a  person  to  believe 
along  certain  lines  is  to  violate  the  truth.  That 
many  men  to-day  are  not  sufficiently  wise  to  re- 
alize this  is  pitiable. 

The  degree  of  self-consciousness  of  the  indi- 
vidual determines  his  degree  of  knowledge. 
Each  individual's  knowledge  reaches  a  certain 
limit.  Beyond  this  limit  he  cannot  know.  As 
his  intellect,  furthermore,  corresponds  with  his 
being  or  consciousness,  it  is  limited  to  a  similar 
degree.     It  is  for  this  reason  that  a  person's 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  97 

knowledge  is  knowledge  existing  to  himself  only. 
Supposing  his  being  and  his  intellect  to  be  ex- 
tremely limited,  one  cannot  possibly  explain 
facts  to  him  that  lie  beyond  the  limit  of  his 
knowing-power.  If  he  has  great  faith  in  his 
teacher,  he  may  believe  him.  He  cannot  know 
and  realize  the  uttered  truths.  When  he  clings 
to  his  individual  knowledge  and  refuses  to  ac- 
cept anything  he  does  not  know,  we  call  him 
a  skeptic.  When  he  readily  digests  the  theories 
and  dogmas  of  others  without  knowing  them  to 
be  true,  we  say  that  he  is  a  believer. 

Each  individual  is  truth  himself.  Each  in- 
dividual may  say :  "  I  am  the  truth."  There 
exists  for  him  no  other  truth  than  his  own. 
What  should  he  do  with  truth  that  cannot  be 
known  and  realized  by  him?  It  is  foreign  to 
him.  He  claims  that  it  is  not  truth.  He 
laughs  at  you,  and  wonders  whether  you  are 
insane  or  not. 

To  teach  truth  is,  strictly  speaking,  impossi- 
ble. Even  if  my  reader  should  agree  with 
everything  I  have  written  in  this  book,  I  shall 
have  taught  him  nothing.  I  shall  have  clothed 
his  own  soul-knowledge  in  a  garb  of  words  and 
symbols.  I  shall  have  given  expression  to  that 
which  he  knew  already.  We  often  notice  peo- 
ple who  are  guided  by  lofty  ideals  and  noble 
principles,  and  who  are  unable  to  explain  their 
view-point  of  life  intellectually.     Their  knowl- 


98  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

edge  is  primarily  rooted  in  their  being,  and  is 
but  partly  transferred  to  their  intellect.  Such 
people  merely  know  that  they  should  live  their 
noble  lives.  They  cannot  discover  a  "  why  " 
for  their  noble  actions  and  viewpoints.  They 
may  read  a  book  that  will  appeal  to  them.  It 
teaches  them  a  great  deal,  apparently.  In  re- 
ality it  is  but  expressing  their  own  knowledge 
of  which  they  were  not  aware. 

To  my  reader,  then,  I  say:  Take  not  my 
word  for  granted.  If  my  thoughts  appeal  to 
you,  I  shall  know  that  they  express  your  own 
knowledge.  I  do  not  proclaim  their  truth  to 
the  world.  They  are  true  to  me.  You  may 
condemn  my  thoughts  if  you  wish,  but  you 
should  not  condemn  me ;  for  my  thoughts  are 
the  expression  of  my  being,  of  the  amount  of 
truth  I  represent.  Even  if  this  amount  of 
truth  be  little,  your  wisdom  shall  forbid  you  to 
condemn  me,  the  individual.  I  am  not  know- 
ingly responsible  for  the  degree  of  my  soul-de- 
velopment. 

No  individual  should  be  condemned  for  his 
thoughts  and  ideas.  The  latter  are  the  faith- 
ful expressions  of  the  quality  of  his  being. 
From  them  one  may  discover  the  amount  of 
truth  that  the  individual  represents.  We  may 
condemn  his  thoughts  for  not  being  in  harmony 
with  the  quality  of  our  own  being.  We  may 
endeavor  to  convince  others  that  his  viewpoints 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  99 

are  false.  But  we  must  refrain  from  hating 
the  thinker  of  such  thoughts.  Such  attitude  is 
unwise,  and  a  slap  in  the  face  of  almighty  truth. 

Authority  in  connection  with  the  truth  of  ex- 
istence does  not  exist  unless  the  individual  will- 
ingly accepts  it.  Even  Christ  was  no  author- 
ity. Each  individual  is  his  own  authority. 
Jesus  of  Nazareth  fully  realized  this  fact.  He 
understood  that  his  knowledge  reached  far  be- 
yond the  knowing-limits  of  his  audience.  To 
the  people  "  he  spoke  in  parables,  for  they  did 
not  understand."  It  would  appear,  however, 
that  he  met  a  few  more  developed  beings  "  to 
whom  he  revealed  all  things."  These  few  men, 
the  apostles,  continued  to  teach  Christ's  phi- 
losophy of  existence.  That  the  human  soul  was 
and  is  not  ripe  for  this  philosophy  has  been 
clearly  proven  by  more  than  one  miserable  fact. 
Not  being  able  to  grasp  the  essence  of  Christ's 
teachings,  his  followers  very  soon  turned  them 
into  a  sorrowful  mess  of  fanaticism,  childish 
worship  and  church-tyranny. 

I  do  not  know  whether  Jesus  actually  ex- 
isted. I  have  my  doubts  about  the  matter. 
This  much  is  certain,  that  a  great  man  with  a 
great  knowledge  did  exist.  If  this  man  was  not 
Jesus,  he  must  necessarily  have  been  the  author 
of  the  New  Testament  or  the  teacher  of  the  au- 
thors. 

The  man  Jesus,  as  pictured  in  the  four  Gos- 


100  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

pels,  represented  an  as  yet  unknown  degree  of 
truth.  His  knowledge  of  existence  is,  to  me, 
more  than  surprising.  His  very  life  is  one  of 
the  hints  needed  to  solve  the  great  problem  of 
universe.  His  self-consciousness  was  the  least 
intense  of  which  I  ever  knew,  heard,  or  read. 
Thought  of  self  was  practically  unknown  to 
him.  Only  once  or  twice  in  his  entire  life  do 
we  notice  an  awareness  of  self.  In  the  Garden 
of  Gethsemane  he  asked  three  of  his  disciples  to 
watch  with  him,  as  "  his  soul  was  exceeding  sor- 
rowful." The  disciples  fell  asleep,  and  Christ 
reproached  them  as  follows :  "  What,  could  ye 
not  watch  with  me  for  one  hour?  "  His  pitiful 
utterance  on  the  cross :  "  Lord,  my  Lord,  why 
hast  Thou  forsaken  me?  "  is  another  rare  in- 
stance of  his  awareness  of  self.  But  his  deeds 
and  actions  prove  that  he  was  practically  All- 
conscious  instead  of  self-conscious.  Yes,  he  was 
the  truth,  more  so  than  any  other  individual 
known  to  humanity.  To  love  your  neighbor, 
to  do  good  unto  others,  to  help  your  helpless 
fellow-man,  this  was  the  essence  of  his  philoso- 
phy. His  philosophy  was  the  necessary  expres- 
sion of  his  being,  which  had  reached  an  un- 
heard-of degree  of  development.  It  was  not  a 
manufactured  heap  of  morals  and  pious  utter- 
ings.  Nay,  to  Jesus  it  was  a  necessity  to  do 
good  and  to  love  his  neighbor. 

Behind  his  philosophy   stands   a  formidable 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  101 

answer  to  that  impertinent  little  question: 
"  Why?  "  To  love  your  i^eighlpor  is  not  an  act 
of  sentimentality,  piety,;  ^i fear  of  Wlifowning 
ruler.  To  love  your  neighbor ,  is  >  to-  be^  hi^^ly 
philosophical,  to  l>e  true*  to' a  i^bliinfe -d'^gree. 
You  cannot  help  being  this;  you  simply  express 
what  you  are.  Many  people  attach  to  "  love  " 
a  sugar-sweet,  piety-enveloped  meaning.  They 
are  mistaken.  Universal  love  dwells  in  the  soul 
of  him  who  knows.  When  you  realize  the 
equality  of  soul,  you  love  your  neighbor.  When 
you  realize  that  man  is  not  knowingly  respon- 
sible for  his  low  or  high  soul-development,  you 
condemn  his  actions,  but  forgive  him,  the  indi- 
vidual. You  love  him.  And  your  love  is  noth- 
ing but  understanding,  knowledge,  truth! 

When  you  are  not  wrapped  up  in  your  self, 
you  are  absorbed  in  the  All.  Your  interest  is 
centered  in  humanity,  in  the  flowers,  in  the 
stars,  in  anything  but  your  self.  You  are  re- 
ceptive to  impression  and  knowledge.  You  are 
broad-minded  and  generous,  forgiving  and  mer- 
ciful. You  not  only  love  your  fellow-man,  you 
also  love  universe  in  its  entirety.  You  are  a 
universal  soul.  You  are  preparing  yourself  to 
become  a  god. 

I  repeat  that  Christ's  teachings  are  embodied 
in  a  philosophy  of  the  highest  order.  If  you 
wish  to  call  them  religion,  I  shall  claim  that 
there  is  no  higher  religion  than  true  philoso- 


102  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

phj.  Science  is  the  conqueror  of  truth.  Phi- 
losophy, i&  the  conqueror  of  truth.  The  truth 
of  existfence  ca,n'  biil^r  he.  expressed  by  science 
and  .philo,&Qphj«,  -  <xod  himself  is  plain,  simple 
truth/ '  ••  ^'' ' '-''  "■'■■'<  .  •■>    .' 

To  the  degree  the  individual  is  truth,  to  such 
degree  is  he  God.  How  shall  I  ever  know  God 
unless  I  be  God  myself .^^  How  can  I  know 
beauty  unless  I  be  beauty  myself  .^^  How  can 
I  know  truth  if  I  am  not  truth  myself  ?  "  I 
and  the  Father  are  one,"  said  Christ. 

Look  around  in  this  life  of  ours !  "  Christ  " 
and  "  love  "  are  words  uttered  in  thousands  of 
pulpits.  Bibles  are  sold  by  the  millions.  What 
good  have  the  pulpits  and  the  Bibles  wrought? 
What  is  the  reason  that  millions  of  hard  work- 
ers unite  to  oppose  their  brother-oppressors? 
Why  should  graft,  greed,  and  injustice  exist? 
What  is  the  cause  of  the  great  European  ca- 
lamity? Whence  party-hatred  and  creed-ha- 
tred? What  have  you  accomplished  during  the 
last  twenty  centuries.  Christian  Church? 

There  is  but  one  answer  to  the  above  ques- 
tions; one  answer,  only.  I  wish  to  print  it  in 
big,  black  letters.  If  I  could  print  a  devil  be- 
hind each  character,  I  would  do  so.  This  is 
the  answer:  Ignorance.  The  church  should 
teach  truth,  not  vagaries  and  superstition. 
Preachers  should  become  broad-minded.  The 
limiting  qualities  of  creed  and  dogma  prevent 


WHAT  IS  TRUTH?  103 

them  from  ever  knowing  anything.  I  belong  to 
no  philosophical  society.  I  belong  to  no 
church.  You  cannot  possibly  class  me  among 
schools  of  philosophy.  My  desire  to  know  the 
truth  is  unlimited.  I  will  listen  patiently  to 
any  religion  or  philosophy.  I  refuse  to  be  lim- 
ited by  "  fundamental  principles  "  and  "  doc- 
trines." I  refuse  to  be  a  liar.  Let  me  know 
the  truth  as  I  know  it.  Allow  me  to  penetrate 
beyond  man-made  boundaries.  To  the  truth  of 
existence  I  am  wedded,  not  to  religions  and  phi- 
losophies! I  am  my  own  authority,  my  own 
critic,  my  own  creed,  my  own  truth!  So  is 
everyone. 

Man's  being  has  developed  during  the  last 
twenty  centuries.  The  church  has  not,  or  per- 
haps very  little.  The  consequence  is  that  the 
church  is  compelled  to  attract  people  by  giving 
musical  programs,  by  advertising  on  billboards, 
by  proclaiming  "  go-to-church  "  days.  Let  the 
church  be  courageous  and  honest!  Let  the 
church  change  its  policy !  Let  the  church  raise 
the  level  of  its  teachings  to  that  of  the  average 
soul-development  of  humanity !  Their  buildings 
would  be  crowded.  There  are  thousands  of  peo- 
ple hungry  for  knowledge  and  truth.  Let  there 
be  one  church  wherein  the  truth  of  existence  is 
taught ! 

To  him  who  teaches  principles,  dogmas,  and 
religion   in   general   against  his  better  under- 


104  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

standing,  I  utter  a  friendly  but  solemn  warn- 
ing. The  only  black  sin,  the  only  hideous 
crime,  in  this  existence  is  to  belie  that  which 
you  know.  A  man  who  does  not  live  up  to  the 
limit  of  his  knowledge  by  wilfully  acting  against 
his  better  understanding,  contracts  an  enormous 
debt.  Teach  the  greatest  nonsense  you  wish, 
but  be  sincere  about  it !  Express  that  which  you 
are  in  a  natural,  truthful  manner.  If  our  nat- 
ural sinning  demands  a  penalty,  what  about  the 
man  who  sins  against  his  better  understanding.? 


IX 

DEFENDING  THE  DEVIL 

From  the  foregoing,  my  readers  may  con- 
clude that  in  my  opinion  neither  good  nor  bad 
exists.  We  should  either  call  everything  good, 
or  we  should  call  everything  bad.  Bad  and 
good  are  but  relative  qualities.  These  quali- 
ties do  not  really  permeate  universe;  they  are 
the  creations  of  man.  The  degree  of  badness 
or  goodness  of  something  is  determined  by  the 
individual's  opinion.  Many  conditions  do  not 
harmonize  with  the  quality  of  my  being;  I  shall 
call  them  bad.  But  these  very  same  conditions 
may  be  good  for  another  man. 

Badness  and  goodness,  then,  exist  to  the  in- 
dividual. He  is  the  sole  judge  of  the  degree 
of  badness  or  goodness  of  a  thing.  His  opin- 
ion, however,  is  one  of  the  many  expressions  of 
his  soul-quality.  There  are  innumerable  de- 
grees of  being,  and  consequently  a  great  num- 
ber of  different  opinions.  One  person  may  call 
a  thing  bad;  another  may  be  able  to  discover  a 
few  good  qualities  that  belong  to  it.  Which 
of  the  two  judges  is  right.?  They  are  both 
105 


106  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

right.  Each  of  them  is  right  when  he  judges 
from  his  own  basis  of  personality.  His  opin- 
ion has  a  foundation  —  which  is  his  being. 

Nobody  has  the  right  and  the  power  to  pre- 
vent a  person  from  condemning  anything  he 
wishes  to  condemn.  Interference  is  positively 
useless.  One  sees  the  world  through  the  colored 
glasses  of  the  personality.  To  change  this 
color  immediately  is  practically  impossible. 
This  change  should  be  effected  through  indi- 
vidual experience,  and  the  patience  and  the  per- 
severance of  outsiders.  Violence,  bitterness, 
and  hatred  are  ineffective,  and  merely  prove  the 
ignorance  of  man.  To  condemn  the  individual 
is,  as  I  have  pointed  out  elsewhere,  a  violation 
of  the  truth  of  existence. 

The  differences  in  degree  of  soul-development 
are  not  so  wide  but  that  thousands  of  men  can 
agree  upon  the  goodness  or  the  badness  of  a 
thing.  We  shall  find  groups,  nay  masses,  of 
men  holding  the  same  opinions.  These  opinions 
are  the  expressions  of  the  average  soul-develop- 
ment of  humanity.  The  highest  developed  be- 
ings are  the  pioneers  of  unborn  generations. 
Their  opinions  seem  incomprehensible,  and  are 
sometimes  condemned.  A  century  often  elapses 
before  the  average  being  agrees  with  their  ut- 
tered thoughts. 

Seen  from  an  impersonal  viewpoint,  there  ex- 
ists neither  good  nor  bad.     We  may  call  every- 


DEFENDING  THE  DEVIL         107 

thing  good,  we  may  call  everything  bad.  We 
cannot,  however,  call  this  universe  good  and  bad 
both.  Less  bad  is  more  good ;  less  good  is  more 
bad.  One  cannot  draw  a  line  of  distinction  be- 
tween good  and  bad.  They  are  mere  qualities 
given  by  the  individual  to  existing  things. 

The  truth  is  that  nothing  is  —  except  exist- 
ence. There  is  no  reason  why  we  should  call  ex- 
istence either  good  or  bad.  It  is:  this  is  all  we 
can  say  about  it.  When  we  realize  that  every 
thing  and  every  happening  is  a  necessary,  indis- 
pensable part  of  existence,  we  cannot  be  tempted 
to  call  anything  either  good  or  bad.  But  when 
we  consider  the  usefulness,  the  purpose,  and  the 
aim  of  existing  things  and  happenings  in  rela- 
tion to  ultimate  existence,  we  can  but  speak  of 
one  thing :  goodness. 

It  is  rather  difficult  to  realize  the  goodness  in 
everything  that  is.  Our  judgment  is  primarily 
based  on  self-interest.  We  generally  decide 
that  a  thing  is  good  or  bad  for  us.  Our  self- 
interest  makes  us  narrowminded.  We  are  un- 
able to  understand  that  something  may  seem  bad 
and  useless  to  thousands  of  people,  while  it  yet 
has  a  good  purpose  in  the  great  scheme  of  ex- 
istence. If  we  could  view  the  world  from  an  ab- 
solutely impersonal  standpoint,  we  should  dis- 
cover that  everything  is  good. 

There  is  a  good  in  everything  that  we  name 
bad.     There   is   a   good   in   anything   that   is. 


108  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

Nothing  is  wasted,  nothing  is  useless.  If  some- 
thing has  no  aim  and  no  purpose,  it  should  not 
exist.  The  dirt  in  the  street  and  the  star  in 
the  sky,  the  grief  in  your  heart  and  the  smile  on 
your  lips,  the  errors  and  the  good  deeds  of 
man  —  each  of  these  things  is  needed ;  each  of 
these  things  has  been  given  a  task  to  accomplish. 
Without  one  of  these  things,  universe  would 
crumble  to  fragments,  for  together  they  make 
existence. 

Contrast  is  powerful  and  universal.  It  is  a 
mighty  weapon  of  expression.  It  is  invariably 
found  in  existing  things.  The  contrast  between 
light  and  dark  in  a  painting  makes  it  impres- 
sive. A  piece  of  music  that  introduces  a  soft, 
tender  strain  in  the  beginning  and  bursts  out  in 
mighty  chords  in  the  middle,  to  resume  its  ten- 
derness in  the  end,  fills  the  soul  with  inspiration. 
Give  me  the  night  and  the  day,  that  I  may  ap- 
preciate both!  Let  me  know  the  tear,  that  I 
may  enjoy  my  happiness!  Woman,  give  me 
your  wildest  emotion  and  your  calmest  love, 
that  I  may  adore  you ! 

Who  ever  knew  of  a  mountain  without  a  val- 
ley nestling  at  its  foot.^  Could  the  snow-bril- 
liant light  of  the  summit  exist  without  the  dark- 
ness of  the  canyon.''  Could  man  exist  without 
woman,  or  woman  without  man?  Light  and 
dark  are  but  shades  of  one  existence.  Good  and 
bad  are  but  degrees  of  one  good.     Man  and 


DEFENDING  THE  DEVIL         109 

woman  are  but  expression  of  one  sublimity. 
Two  is  an  unknown  number  in  universe.  The 
arithmetic  of  existence  is :  one  and  one  make  one. 

And  I  claim  that  God  and  the  Devil  are  one. 
That  which  we  name  "  of  the  devil "  is  as  good 
as  God  is.  Our  ignorance  forbids  us  to  see. 
Our  self-interest  has  blindfolded  us.  Together 
they  make  the  incomprehensible  Infinite. 

I  claim  that  man  and  woman  together  make 
one.  The  man  is  no  more  than  the  woman,  the 
woman  no  more  than  the  man.  The  one  gives 
and  receives,  the  other  receives  and  gives.  To- 
gether they  make  the  incomprehensible  Infinite. 

I  claim  that  darkness  and  light  are  one.  The 
darkness  makes  light,  and  light  makes  the  dark- 
ness. Together  they  make  the  incomprehensible 
Infinite. 

And  sadness  and  joy  are  in  reality  one. 
When  the  tear  is  unknown,  the  smile  is  but 
fiction.  The  one  does  not  exist  without  the 
other.  Together  they  make  the  incomprehen- 
sible Infinite. 

The  God  of  good  and  the  Devil  of  wickedness 
work  in  perfect  harmony.  The  rise  of  nations 
and  the  fall  of  empires,  the  destruction  and 
birth  of  sun-worlds,  the  devastating  floods  and 
the  periods  of  peace,  are  the  works  of  God  and 
the  Devil,  who  in  reality  are  one.  The  Devil 
destroys  the  old  and  the  retarded,  and  God 
builds  the  new  and  the  better.     God  and  the 


110  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

Devil  are  one,  the  truth  of  everlasting  existence. 

Bad  is  but  a  hidden  good.  Loss  is  but  an  un- 
known gain.  Destruction  is  an  unseen  birth. 
Universe  in  its  reality  is  neither  good  nor  bad. 
It  IS ;  it  just  is  —  to-day,  to-morrow,  forever. 
It  was  yesterday,  and  ever  before  yesterday. 
Its  EOBE  is  changeable.  Its  robe  is  good  and 
bad  in  the  opinion  of  man.  When  a  tip  of  its 
garment  is  worn  out,  calamity  destroys  it.  But 
a  new  and  better  patch  is  stitched  on  by  prog- 
ress ;  perhaps  not  here,  but  in  an  undreamed- 
of corner  of  universe.  Universe  is  balanced. 
There  is  no  loss;  there  is  no  gain.  All  loss  is 
gain,  all  gain  is  loss.  Existence  is  forever  one, 
never  more,  never  less. 

I  call  a  deed  good  when  the  quality  of  my  be- 
ing is  in  harmony  with  the  quality  of  the  deed. 
I  call  a  thing  bad  when  its  quality  does  not  har- 
monize with  the  quality  of  my  being.  I  con- 
demn certain  deeds  and  thoughts  and  ideas  with 
all  the  power  of  my  soul.  I  condemn  them  for 
being  unfit  for  mi^  being.  They  may  be  neces- 
sary to  my  brother,  and  therefore  good  for 
him.  I  do  not  condemn  him  for  thinking  his 
thoughts  and  committing  his  deeds.  Each 
thought  has  its  purpose  in  the  scheme  of  life. 
Each  action  has  its  function  in  the  scheme  of 
existence. 

That  which  we  name  "  of  the  Devil  "  is  the 
only  power  that  moves  progress.     Thank  God ! 


DEFENDING  THE  DEVIL         111 

I  am  a  sinner.  My  sins  and  my  imperfect 
qualities  guarantee  me  progress  of  soul.  The 
biggest  mistake  of  my  life  is  the  most  powerful 
hint  at  improvement. 

My  sins  and  mistakes  are  numbered.  They 
lie  within  the  realm  of  my  being.  Beyond  my 
degree  of  development  and  knowing  I  cannot  sin. 
A  bad  deed  committed  in  ignorance  is  not  sin- 
ful. The  man  who  knows  little,  whose  being  is 
in  infancy,  he  may  do  things  without  sinning, 
while  I  would  sin  in  doing  these  things.  The 
humble  and  poor  live  in  dwellings  that  are  dusty 
and  dirty.  They  live,  and  they  are  healthy. 
If  I  should  live  in  such  dwellings,  I  would  sin 
and  suffer.  If  I  am  not  clean,  I  shall  sin  and 
suffer.  For  my  actions  and  my  conditions  of 
life  should  be  in  harmony  with  the  littleness  or 
the  greatness  of  my  being. 

Condemn  not  the  ignorant  and  the  children 
of  the  Devil.  Nurse  them  and  feed  them  and 
teach  them.  They  need  your  soul  and  your 
mind  and  your  love  more  than  the  good  and  the 
saintly  and  the  wealthy.  They  grope  in  the 
darkness,  and  they  even  know  not  that  they 
grope.  An  eternity  stretches  before  them. 
A  better,  a  greater,  are  theirs.  Condemn  their 
imperfect  ways  if  you  wish,  but  be  kind  to  their 
souls.  You  have  an  advantage  over  them  — 
you  who  are  wiser,  bigger,  and  stronger.  Crush 
not  the  spark  of  life  that  is  humble.     Despise 


112  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

not  the  poor  and  the  wicked.  You  shall  whip 
the  truth  of  existence.  You  shall  trample  on 
the  man  who  is  a  sinner  —  even  as  you  and  I. 

I  sin  because  I  am  not  greater  than  I  am.  I 
sin  that  I  may  become  greater  than  I  am.  I 
sin  that  I  may  suffer  and  learn  and  know.  The 
Devil  is  the  only  teacher  of  man.  Your  ser- 
mons and  teachings  may  do  me  no  good.  They 
are  aggregations  of  sound,  sometimes  monoto- 
nous, and  sometimes  musical.  The  Devil  can 
teach  me  in  a  day  what  your  sermons  cannot 
teach  in  a  lifetime.  He  charges  heavily  indeed 
for  his  lessons.  I  must  pay  with  my  heart  and 
my  soul  and  my  blood.  I  shall  refuse  to  buy 
such  lessons  again.  I  shall  know  the  truth.  I 
and  humanity  and  universe  shall  have  pro- 
gressed. 

Would  you  call  my  body,  my  sins,  and  the 
things  you  do  not  approve  of,  error.?  Did  you 
ever  know  existence  to  err?  Come!  be  less 
selfish.  Do  not  call  things  the  products  of 
error  because  yow  do  not  care  for  them.  They 
are  useless  error  to  you,  maybe,  but  they  are  in- 
dispensable error  to  the  scheme  of  existence. 

My  body  is  as  great  as  my  soul  is.  My 
sweetheart's  eyes  and  lips  and  hair  and  body 
are  not  less  beautiful  than  her  soul.  Soul  and 
body  are  one.  The  soul  is  invisible,  the  body  is 
the  visible  expression  of  the  souk  The  caressing 
of  lips  and  the  mingling  of  bodies  are,  or  should 


DEFENDING  THE  DEVIL         113 

be,  the  expressions  of  two  souls  that  blend  into 
one. 

Were  it  not  for  body  and  matter,  we  could 
not  know  and  learn.  These  things  are  the  in- 
struments needed  for  the  soul  to  progress.  If 
your  only  concern  is  your  body,  you  are  in 
error.  If  your  only  concern  is  your  soul,  you 
are  likewise  in  error.  Body  and  soul  are  one. 
Without  the  body,  the  soul  is  asleep  and  in  dark- 
ness. 

Waste  not  your  life  in  solitude  or  within  the 
walls  of  a  convent.  You  shall  be  unnatural. 
Nor  fear  that  the  world  might  stain  your  white- 
ness of  soul.  If  your  soul  is  pure  and  noble, 
nothing  can  affect  its  purity  and  nobility.  Run 
not  away  from  the  temptations  and  pitfalls  of 
life.  Have  the  courage  to  test  the  quality  of 
your  self.  Many  a  man  who  had  claimed  to  be 
something  else  than  man,  who  had  lived  secluded 
from  life,  in  one  horrible  crime  atoned  for  the 
many  little  sins  he  had  refused  to  commit. 

I  say  to  my  reader:  be  natural!  Be  not 
ashamed  to  admit  to  the  world  what  you  are. 
Be  dissatisfied  with  your  self,  and  strive  for 
greater  perfection.  But  ever  be  natural,  that 
you  may  live  up  to  the  truth  of  your  being.  An 
honest  devil  is  greater  than  a  dishonest  god.  A 
glittering  imitation  is  less  valuable  than  a  rough 
original.  Why  should  you  pretend,  and  be 
something  which  you  are  not?     If  you  pretend 


114  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

to  be  a  saint,  the  world  expects  you  to  act  like 
a  saint.  One  slip  of  your  stumbling  feet  — 
and  man  has  condemned  you  a  hundred  times 
more  than  he  does  the  criminal  who  is  honest 
about  his  crime! 

This  life  is  my  schoolhouse.  My  sin,  the  ex- 
pression of  imperfection,  is  my  teacher.  The 
lessons  known  to  my  soul  do  not  tempt  me.  I 
discard  them  as  bad  and  imperfect.  The  others 
I  read  and  devour.  I  drink  deep  from  the  well 
of  experience.  I  pay  the  price  with  my  heart. 
If  sin  I  must,  I  shall  sin !  And  willing  I  am  to 
pay  the  price.  But  to  sin  against  my  better 
understanding  —  that  you  can  never  compel  me 
to  do!  For  if  I  cannot  be  more  than  I  am,  I 
neither  can  be  less.  And  my  actions  and  my 
thoughts  are  the  expressions  of  a  degree  of  be- 
ing-sublimity. Woe  to  the  man  whose  life 
is  a  lie!  Woe  to  the  man  who  teaches  that 
which  he  knows  to  be  untrue ! 

Behold  my  glorious  universe !  Each  happen- 
ing is  useful.  Each  thing  is  needed.  Nothing 
is  wasted.  Nothing  is  purposeless.  I  plunge 
deep  into  the  ocean  of  life.  I  drink  from  the 
well  of  tears  as  well  as  from  the  rippling  brook 
of  happiness.  I  deserve  both,  I  demand  both, 
for  the  reason  that  I  am  what  I  am.  My  im- 
perfection demands  the  tears,  that  I  may  become 
more  perfect.     My  work  and  my  sacrifice  de- 


DEFENDING  THE  DEVIL         115 

mand  happiness.  I  shall  receive  not  a  penny 
more  or  less  than  my  soul-value  deserves. 

Show  me  the  man  who  has  sinned  and  suf- 
fered; whose  tears  were  the  price  of  wisdom; 
who  rose  from  darkness  into  light;  whose  ex- 
perience softens  his  heart  to  his  brother;  who 
knows  and  can  grasp  the  ways  of  the  world! 
He,  indeed,  can  speak  about  the  truth  of  life ! 

And  those  who  are  saintly  and  perfect ;  whose 
morals  are  printed  in  books  instead  of  their 
souls;  who  preach  with  a  hell  against  the  ways 
of  their  god  —  these  people,  I  say,  the  devil  re- 
fuses to  visit  and  teach.  They  are  not  good, 
and  they  are  not  bad.  They  are  not  alive,  and 
they  are  not  dead.  Their  souls  are  the  stag- 
nant waters  of  life.  They  stand  still  in  a  whirl- 
ing universe  of  progress. 

The  world  is  good  and  grand  and  glorious. 
Everything  moves  and  schemes  and  is  of  use. 
The  ugliest  thing  has  a  purpose  divine. 


THE  UNKNOWABLE 

Absolute  perfection  is  unknowable  and  incon- 
ceivable. Relative  perfection  is  known  to  the 
human  mind.  Something  may  be  perfect  in  its 
imperfection.  A  man,  as  a  man,  may  be  per- 
fect; but  in  the  absolute  sense  he  is  not.  If  we 
could  possibly  conceive  of  something  perfect, 
we  should  know  it  to  be  unchangeable.  If  it 
were  subject  to  a  change  that  implied  improve- 
ment, it  should  have  lacked  this  improvement  in 
the  first  place,  and  it  should  not  have  been 
named  perfect.  Perfection  now  was  perfection 
yesterday,  and  will  be  perfection  to-morrow. 
In  other  words,  perfection  is  eternal  in  its  ex- 
istence. 

Something  perfect  cannot  have  any  qualities 
or  attributes.  To  give  an  illustration:  sup- 
pose one  of  its  qualities  to  be  height.  The  very 
word  height  is  synonymous  with  imperfection. 
Height  is  never  so  high  that  it  cannot  change 
into  a  higher  height.  Height  will  reach  its  per- 
fection when  it  is  height  no  more ;  when  it  is  im- 
measurable ;  when  it  cannot  become  higher ;  when 
116 


THE  UNKNOWABLE  117 

it  is  infinite.  Man  cannot  conceive  of  infinite 
height.  If  he  could,  infinite  height  would  be 
limited,  and  a  greater  height  would  be  im- 
aginable. The  perfection  of  height,  then,  is  in- 
finite height  —  which  is  no  height  to  quality- 
conceiving  man.  Suppose  that  magic  placed  in- 
finite height  before  you;  you  would  see,  and 
know  of,  absolutely  nothing.  You  would  see 
that  which  man  names  nothingness  or  empti- 
ness or  space.  The  same  may  be  argued  about 
all  measures:  length,  breadth,  depth;  and  all 
qualities  as  wisdom,  power,  love,  beauty,  etc. 
Any  conceivable  quality  is,  for  the  very  reason 
that  it  is  conceivable,  limited  and  imperfect. 
Perfection,  holding  in  itself  all  qualities  to  an 
infinite  degree,  is  inconceivable.  When  some- 
thing is  inconceivable,  not  sensible,  it  appears  as 
nothing  or  emptiness  to  the  human  observer. 
That  limitless  depth  surrounding  our  planet  is 
the  expression  of  perfection.  That  immeasurable 
emptiness  is  the  one  unchangeable  something  in 
fathomless  universe.  It  is  eternal  in  its  exist- 
ence. We  can  safely  state  that  its  existence  is 
self-evident.  We  may  be  able  to  think  away  a 
flower,  a  man,  a  planet,  a  sun  —  anything 
visible  and  imperfect;  but  even  when  all  that  is 
is  thought  away,  there  remains  forever  and  anon 
that  fathomless  emptiness.  If  there  exists  a 
perfect  God,  I  am  not  surprised  to  read  that  "  no 
man  has  seen  God  at  any  time,"  and  that  one 


118  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

can  only  "  testify  "  and  "  bear  witness  of  him," 
and  "  declare  Him."  A  perfect  God  is  abso- 
lutely incomprehensible,  inconceivable,  invisible. 
His  presence  is  revealed  to  humanity  by  an  ever- 
lasting emptiness  and  an  eternal  silence. 

Perfection,  moreover,  cannot  have  any  human 
attributes).  A  perfect  something  cannot  know 
anything.  Even  if  it  knew  all  there  is  to  know, 
its  knowing-power  would  be  limited.  Also  to 
know  itself  would  imply  limitation  or  imperfec- 
tion. The  power  to  know,  then,  of  a  perfect 
something  is  inconceivable;  in  fact,  it  is  infinite, 
or  not-knowing  in  the  opinion  of  imperfect  man. 
The  knowing  of  a  perfect  being  is  another  know- 
ing than  ours,  to  say  the  least. 

The  power,  love,  goodness,  and  wisdom  of  hu- 
man conception  and  comprehension  are  not  ex- 
pressed by  a  perfect  being.  As  soon  as  man  is 
able  to  conceive  of  its  power  and  love,  these 
qualities  are  limited  and  not  perfect.  The 
power,  love,  goodness,  and  wisdom  of  perfection 
are  infinite,  and  reveal  themselves  to  imperfect 
man  by  their  absolute  absence. 

Perfection  is  unchangeable.  Any  change 
would  prove  its  imperfection.  A  perfect  some- 
thing, therefore,  cannot  create.  Why  should 
something  that  is  absolute  perfection  create  im- 
perfect, changeable  things?  Moreover,  there  is 
but  perfection  itself  to  be  used  as  "  material  " 
for  the  creation.     If  there  were  any  other  "  ma- 


THE  UNKNOWABLE  119 

terial "  available,  perfection  could  not  be  per- 
fect. It  would  lack  that  "  material."  From  its 
own  self,  then,  should  perfection  create.  In 
other  words,  the  perfect  would  change  into  the 
created  object  or  thing;  which  is  impossible,  as 
perfection  is  unchangeable. 

I  am  mighty  glad  to  have  come  to  this  conclu- 
sion. If  there  exists  a  perfect  God,  he  at  least 
did  not  create  me  in  a  mood  of  ennui.  He  is  not 
playing  with  me  as  I  would  play  with  the  pieces 
on  the  chessboard.  I  am  not  depending  upon 
his  whims  and  generous  moods.  Nay,  I  may 
quietly  study  my  own  being  and  its  startling 
laws.  I  am  master  in  this  world  of  changeabil- 
ity and  imperfection,  at  least.  I  am,  at  least, 
the  cause  of  many  a  strange  happening.  I  can, 
to  a  certain  degree,  consciously  shape  my  own 
future.  Unconsciously  I  shape  my  entire  fu- 
ture, merely  by  being  what  I  am,  merely  because 
I  exist.  The  liberty  and  freedom  advocated  in 
our  life  on  earth  are  but  the  expressions  of  uni- 
versal liberty  and  freedom.  Think  of  created 
things  knowing  such  glorious  principles,  and  of 
a  j>erfect  God  knowing  them  not!  It  would  be 
a  sorry  mess,  this  glorious  universe  of  ours ! 

There  exists  no  ugliness  for  me  now !  Neither 
do  I  fear  or  despair.  I  need  not  fear  the  day 
when  sorrow  and  disaster  shall  be  sent  to  me  by 
my  lord  and  master.  I  am  free,  absolutely 
free!     My  only  enemy  is  myself;  my  only  limi- 


120  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

tation  is  myself;  the  only  disaster  liable  to  face 
me  is  the  harvest  which  my  own  imperfect  self 
has  sown.  There  is  a  universe  to  be  conquered 
by  myself.  I  know  little  about  it  now,  because 
my  self  is  little.  But  when  I  replace  my  thought 
of  self  by  nobility,  generosity,  unselfishness ; 
when  I  become  more  All-conscious  than  self- 
conscious;  then  I  shall  know  infinitely  more 
about  All. 

I  do  not  care  to  speculate  upon  perfection. 
It  has  become  clear  enough  that  it  is  unknow- 
able, inconceivable.  I  prefer  to  study  and  im- 
prove upon  the  known  —  my  own  being,  for  ex- 
ample. Now  and  here  is  the  time  and  the  place 
for  action,  study,  and  speculation.  From 
what  I  KNOW  I  can  conclude  that  man  is  sub- 
ject to  growth.  He  is  nearing  perfection  as 
the  years  roll  by.  This  growth  is  the  growth 
of  All-consciousness,  which  is  expressed  by  un- 
selfishness. I  see  the  greatest  self-consciousness 
and  imperfection  in  the  electron  (or  perhaps  in 
that  which  science  names  ether).  I  see  self- 
consciousness  and  imperfection  become  less  and 
less  in  the  atom,  the  rock,  the  plant,  the  ani- 
mal, and  man,  successively. 

If  there  is  a  growth,  there  must  have  been  a 
beginning,  and  there  should  be  an  end,  you  shall 
wisely  remark,  and  this  universe  in  time  should 
evolve  to  the  point  of  perfection  where  matter 
and  limitation  are  not  imaginable.     But  science 


THE  UNKNOWABLE  l^l 

clearly  proves  that  matter  and  energy  are  in- 
destructible from  which  we  logically  conclude 
that  creation  is  eternal ;  that  there  may  be  a  be- 
ginning and  an  end  to  a  being's  imperfection, 
but  not  to  imperfection  or  material  existence  as 
a  whole. 

But,  again,  what  do  I  care  for  superhuman 
speculations?  My  being  has  reached  a  certain 
degree  of  development,  of  All-consciousness. 
My  knowing  is  limited ;  beyond  that  limit  I  can- 
not know ;  I  can  merely  guess  or  rave.  I  should 
be  satisfied  to  know  that  there  is  progress  ahead 
of  me  and  humanity.  A  greater  development 
of  man's  being  shall  bring  along  a  greater  know- 
ing-power. The  secrets  of  existence,  the  laws 
of  nature,  shall  be  revealed  unto  man.  Nothing 
shall  remain  hidden. 

The  end,  you  ask?  What  if  a  being  has  be- 
come perfect,  and  is  absolutely  All-conscious? 
I  suppose  the  being  has  then  reached  the  Nir- 
vana of  the  Hindus,  the  "  Christ-consciousness  " 
of  the  modem  religious  speculators,  the  "  heaven 
and  bliss  "  of  ancient  Christianity.  Such  a  be- 
ing has  then  become  All-knowing;  in  other 
words,  it  knows  nothing.  There  is  nothing  to 
know.  There  is  nothing  to  speculate  upon, 
nothing  to  study,  nothing  to  hope  for,  nothing 
to  become  desperate  about.  There  is  every- 
thing —  which  is  nothing.  There  is  infinite  and 
eternal  —  which  is   nothing  to  imperfect  man. 


122  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

There  is  a  fathomless  apathy  —  no  pain  or 
pleasure,  no  beauty  or  ugliness,  no  knowledge 
or  ignorance.  Yes,  there  is  perfect  bliss,  which 
consists  of  no  sensation  whatever. 

I,  personally,  do  not  now  particularly  crave 
such  a  condition.  I  am  happy  in  the  knowl- 
edge that  I  am  imperfect  and  a  sinner.  I  am  at 
least  my  own  possibility  for  improvement  and 
growth,  which  cannot  but  bring  satisfaction. 
And  those  fanatics  who  are  anxious  to  leave  this 
world  of  "  illusion,"  "  imperfection,"  "  dark- 
ness," or  whatever  they  may  name  this  life,  I 
wish  to  acquaint  with  an  undeniable  truth.  If 
it  were  not  for  the  fact  that  man  is  imperfect, 
he  could  not  possibly  know  and  strive  for  perfec- 
tion. If  man  and  everything  else  were  perfect, 
there  could  be  no  goal,  no  strife,  and  conse- 
quently no  action  and  progress.  Material  uni- 
verse would  not  exist  at  all.  It  is  the  very  im- 
perfection of  man  that  acquaints  him  with  the 
idea  of  perfection.  This  idea,  then,  is  the  mov- 
ing inspiration  of  humanity.  To  know  that 
there  is  a  greater,  a  better,  a  more  perfect 
ahead,  endows  us  with  the  power  to  do,  to  bear, 
to  conquer  and  to  progress. 

Universe  to  me  is  a  veritable  paradise  in  which 
to  move  and  live;  a  paradise  of  many  hidden 
secrets,  the  solution  of  which  has  been  promised 
me  on  the  ground  that  I  am  a  man.     I,  myself, 


THE  UNKNOWABLE  123 

am  an  essential  part  of  this  paradise,  and  un- 
doubtedly the  most  interesting  secret  to  be 
known.  Through  studying  and  ennobling  my 
self,  I  may  know  more  and  more  about  the  rest 
of  universe.  Certainly  not  so  bad  an  occupa- 
tion —  that  of  being  man !  A  greater,  better 
and  more  powerful  self  is  constantly  beckoning 
me.  A  greater  understanding  of  all  that  is  is 
ever  giving  me  new  vigor  to  proceed.  I  have  no 
time  to  be  bored  or  crushed  or  desperate;  I  am 
too  busy  living.  That  immense  marvel  wherein 
I  move,  and  the  possibility  of  learning  more 
about  it,  thrills  my  being  with  the  inspiration  of 
existence. 

I  believe  that  religion  is  the  greatest  enemy  of 
science  and  philosophy  —  in  one  word,  truth. 
It  is  founded  on  blind  belief  which  forever  pre- 
vents the  individual  from  being  original  and 
"  finding  out  things  for  himself."  It  makes  man 
prejudiced  in  favor  of  his  belief;  it  often  makes 
him  a  moral  coward.  It  forbids  him  to  gather 
the  pearls  of  truth  that  lie  scattered  everywhere. 

I  do  not  mean  to  condemn  the  pious  man.  If 
his  particular  being  is  in  need  of  religion,  he 
should  have  it.  But  the  word  religion  has  a  dis- 
agreeable, authoritative  sound.  And  I  am  of 
opinion  that  thousands  of  men  partly  yield  to 
that  authority,  which  is  religion's  first,  last,  and 
middle  name  —  thousands  of  men  who  are  ad- 


124  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

vanced  enough  to  discard  the  swaddling-clothes 
of  religious  vagaries  and  superstitions,  and  ac- 
cept the  ermine  robe  of  philosophy  and  truth. 

But  I  believe  that  I  am  able  to  understand  why 
man  is  everlastingly  absorbed  in  God  —  the  un- 
knowable and  inconceivable ;  why  he  does  not  in- 
terest himself  a  little  more  in  the  knowable  — 
himself,  for  example.  Man's  average  develop- 
ment in  the  bygone  centuries  did  not  allow  him 
to  be  aware  of,  and  grasp,  the  laws  of  his  being 
and  of  nature.  It  is  natural  to  explain  the 
cause  of  all  our  life-happenings  by  means  of  a 
Supreme  Being  who  rules  the  fate  of  man  and 
universe.  It  is  natural  to  seek  the  guiding 
power,  the  distributor  of  grief  and  happiness, 
the  cause  of  events  and  happenings,  in  a  being 
or  power  existing  separate  from  the  individual, 
and  having  nothing  in  common  with  him.  All 
this  is  natural  —  when  we  do  not  know  the 
truth.  But  man,  especially  the  more  advanced 
American  man,  is  making  some  remarkable  dis- 
coveries about  his  self  —  discoveries  that  are  of 
vital  interest  to  successful  living,  and  of  incal- 
culable benefit  to  humanity  in  general  and  the 
individual  in  particular.  He  is  gradually  real- 
izing that  he,  himself,  is  the  cause  of  certain 
effects,  the  creator  of  certain  conditions  and 
happenings.  When  he  realizes  that  he  himself 
is,  consciously  or  unconsciously,  responsible  for 
the  forthcoming  of  certain  events,  he  deducts 


THE  UNKNOWABLE  125 

that  responsibility  from  the  total  responsibility 
with  which  he  had  charged  the  Supreme  Being. 
He  turns  to  his  self,  realizing  that  it  has  the 
power  to  act,  to  a  certain  degree  at  least,  inde- 
pendently of  the  sanction  of  an  outside  power. 
The  man  who  realizes  that  through  his  own 
efforts  and  perseverance  he  is  able  to  sell  his 
goods,  is  on  the  right  road.  "  God  helps  those 
that  help  themselves  "  is  a  popular  saying  that 
contains  more  wisdom  than  we  would  imagine. 
A  greater  soul-development  means  a  deeper 
understanding  of  the  laws  of  existence;  a 
greater  understanding  brings  along  a  deeper 
realization  of  the  truth;  I  can  do,  I  can  create, 
I  can  act,  I  can  destroy, — independent  of  any 
power  existing  in  separation  from  me,  but  de- 
pendent upon  the  quality  of  my  self.  Progress- 
ing humanity  shall  gradually  transfer  all  con- 
centration from  a  god  to  their  own  individu- 
ality. In  centuries  to  come,  people  shall  con- 
ceive of  perfection  as  an  unknowable,  incompre- 
hensible something  that  does  not  interfere  with 
the  laws  inherent  in  their  own  being.  They 
shall  realize  that  religion,  the  personal-god-idea, 
the  belief  in  a  power  existing  separate  from  our 
own  being  and  ruling  it,  are  but  facilitating 
bridges,  preparatory  schools,  leading  beginners 
toward  the  sublime  truth,  that  the  individual  is 
his  own  responsibility,  his  own  fate  —  nay,  his 
own  God! 


126  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

If  you  wish  to  call  such  a  statement  blasphe- 
mous, you  are,  of  course,  at  liberty  to  do  so. 
Your  opinion,  however,  is  based  upon  blind  be- 
lief. The  above  utterance  is  the  expression  of 
sincere  realization  —  the  result  of  earnest  study 
and  sought-for  experience.  I  am  convinced, 
moreover,  that  man  can  then  only  be  filled  with 
the  thrill  of  inspiration  when  he  knows  that  it  is 
entirely  "  up  to  himself "  to  create  a  noble, 
beautiful  life.  If  a  supreme  being  were  con- 
sciously ruling  him,  man  might  have  reason  to 
say  with  Omar  Khayyam  : 

"  Oh,  Thou,  who  Man  of  baser  Earth  didst  make, 
And  ev'n  with  Paradise  devise  the  snake: 
For  all  the  Sin  wherewith  the  Face  of  Man 
Is     blacken'd  —  Man's      forgiveness      give  —  and 
take !  " 

Let  perfection  (or  God,  if  you  wish)  have  its 
existence  in  incomprehensibility !  I  will  go 
through  life,  drifting  on  the  unshakeable  knowl- 
edge that  my  being  is  a  creative  power.  De- 
feat? I  know  it  not.  It  is  but  a  new  inspira- 
tion, instructing  me  how  to  conquer.  Sorrow? 
I  can  bear  it.  It  purifies  my  imperfect  being, 
and  it  tests  my  unselfishness.  Trouble  and  mis- 
fortune? Some  qualities  of  my  being  are 
markedly  imperfect.  My  trouble  is  the  harvest 
of  the  seed  that  I  have  sown.     I  will  endeavour 


THE  UNKNOWABLE  127 

to  better  and  ennoble  my  self.  Yea,  in  this  ma- 
terial world  I  am  at  least  my  own  fate,  my  own 
sorrow,  my  own  happiness.  "  The  kingdom  of 
heaven  is  within,"  and  not  without, —  in  the 
fathomless  depths  of  inconceivability,  for  ex- 
ample. 

Man  should  awake  to  the  knowledge  of  what 
he  is.  He  should  realize  that  his  being's  value  is 
that  of  a  creative  power.  It  is  not  blasphemous 
to  know  the  truth.  It  is  criminal  to  stubbornly 
refuse  to  know  it.  And  to  know,  I  say,  is  to  be 
master  of  existence ! 


XI 
CONJECTURES 

Death  is  the  most  puzzling  and  the  most  im- 
pressive event  in  man's  existence.  Man  writes 
his  numerous  books  on  the  philosophy  of  life, 
carefully  ignoring,  however,  that  problem  of  all 
problems,  death.  He  appears  to  be  afraid  to 
touch  the  subject  at  all.  He  would  gladly  be 
able  to  forget  that  death  is  a  fact. 

The    impressions    caused   by    the    reality    of 

death    are    not    of    the    most    cheerful    kind. 

They  are  generally  sad,  sometimes  horrid.     The 

possible  existence  of  a  beyond,  and  thought  of 

self,  are  the  principal  sources  of  this  horror. 

Loss,  in  whatever  form,  then,  is  man's  greatest 

torturer.     Death  means  loss :  loss  of  life  and 

sunshine,  loss  of  friends  and  beloved  ones,  loss 

of  possessions  and  happiness.     There  exists  no 

torture  caused  by  loss  without  thought  of  self. 

The  absolutely  unselfish  man  should  be  able  to 

meet  death  fearlessly.     It  is  rather  surprising 

that  man  bothers  himself  with  no  other  than  his 

own  death.     He  never  thinks  about  the  horrible 

unknown  when  he  gathers  his  flowers,  or  when  he 
128 


CONJECTURES  129 

kills  his  cows  and  lambs.  Is  there  no  beyond 
for  the  flower  and  the  animal,  I  wonder?  Is 
the  beyond  a  privileged  horror  for  man  only? 
Thought  of  self,  once  more,  in  this  instance, 
shapes  the  ideas  and  the  thoughts  of  man. 

If  you  should  demand  an  answer  to  the  ques- 
tions "  Whence?  "  and  "  Whither?  "  my  honesty 
would  compel  me  to  reply :  "  I  do  not  know." 
I  may  have  formed  a  theory,  I  may  even  have  a 
conviction  regarding  the  matter ;  but  neither  the 
theory  nor  the  conviction  are  directly  founded 
on  truth.  They  are  based  only  indirectly  on  ob- 
servation of  known  facts.  Their  immediate 
foundation  is  conjecture. 

Seen  from  a  viewpoint  of  personal  benefit,  I 
care  very  little  about  the  "  whence  "  and  the 
"  whither."  My  only  interest  in  the  matter  is 
aroused  by  a  desire  to  know  the  truth.  The  all- 
important,  all-absorbing  fact  is:  I  exist.  I 
therefore  pay  as  much  attention  as  possible  to 
my  existence  now  and  here.  I  refuse  to  make 
my  known  life  a  hell  by  creating  visions  of  hor- 
ror belonging  to  an  unknown  life.  Neither  do  I 
care  to  waste  an  opportunity  to  make  this  ex- 
istence a  noble  heaven  by  concentrating  on  bliss 
which  may  and  may  not  be  my  share  in  a 
dreamed-of  abode. 

The  belief  in  an  existence  beyond  the  realms 
of  material  life  is  extremely  popular.  Hindoos, 
Egyptians,  Indians,  in  fact  any  race  that  ever 


130  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

nestled  on  this  globe  —  believed  in  a  hereafter. 
The  Christian  Church  to-day  positively  asserts 
that  heaven  is  the  dwelling-place  for  departed 
souls.  It  used  to  reserve  a  more  disagreeable 
place  for  sinners  and  wicked  people.  But  man 
realized,  not  so  long  ago,  that  God  could  not  be 
so  infinitely  cruel  as  to  eternally  damn  and  tor- 
ture his  children  whose  imperfections  were 
caused  by  his  own  shaky  hand.  Man,  therefore, 
abolished  the  hell-concept,  which  is  an  expres- 
sion and  an  indication  of  bygone  ignorance  and 
little  soul-development. 

The  theory  of  a  heaven  is  based  on  pure  con- 
jecture. It  is  not  even  indirectly  founded  on 
knowledge  and  observation  of  known  facts.  I 
am  not  surprised,  therefore,  that  it  is  incon- 
sistent and  illogical. 

Eternity  with  a  beginning  is  inconceivable. 
That  which  is  endless  cannot  have  a  beginning. 
If  one  believes  in  an  everlasting  after,  one  should 
logically  accept  an  everlasting  before.  Re- 
ligion, then,  if  anxious  to  be  logical  and  con- 
sistent, should  state  that  man's  existence  is 
eternal ;  that  he  ever  did  exist,  and  that  he  ever 
shall.  The  past,  however,  is  of  little  interest  to 
man.  All  that  interests  the  self-loving  being  is 
the  future.  Let  this  future  be  a  world  of 
seraph-fire  and  bliss !  Let  selfish  anxiety  be  put 
to  sleep  by  a  dream!  The  past.?  Who  cares 
for  the  past.?     The  explanation  that  a  master 


CONJECTURES  131 

created  us  from  nothingness  will  do.  Nay,  our 
self-pride  and  our  self-esteem  consider  the  after 
only,  and  do  not  shrink  under  the  lashing  state- 
ment that  our  origin  is  nothingness.  This  ut- 
terly worthless  origin  we  accept  with  pleasure, 
provided  our  future  be  a  brilliant  one. 

And  why  should  we,  whose  birthplace  was 
nothing  whatever,  demand  to  be  something  in  a 
future  eternity?  If  nothing  be  my  origin,  the 
playful  ruler  will  no  doubt  blot  out  my  existence 
when  he  shall  have  tired  of  me.  What  am  I, 
that  I  should  annoy  this  schemer  of  immeasur- 
able plans  with  my  foolish  presence? 

Self-interest,  indeed,  would  bar  logic  and 
reason  from  the  world  of  true  thought.  It  is 
self-interest  that  created  this  future  for  man, 
and  did  not  care  more  about  the  past  than  to 
have  him  emerge  from  nothing. 

Lavoisier,  over  a  century  ago,  proved  that 
matter  is  indestructible.  It  is  subject  to  physi- 
cal and  chemical  change,  but  it  is  never  annihi- 
lated. A  burning  candle  apparently  disap- 
pears and  changes  into  nothingness.  In  reality, 
however,  the  candle-substance  changes  into  vari- 
ous gases,  the  weight  of  which  is  equal  to  the 
weight  of  the  burned  candle.  Water  may  be 
decomposed  into  its  constituents,  oxygen  and 
hydrogen,  by  an  electric  current.  The  weight 
of  the  obtained  gases  is  equal  to  the  weight  of 
the  water  that  disappeared. 


13a  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

Matter  is  indestructible,  from  which  we  should 
conclude  that  it  shall  ever  exist.  Does  it  re- 
quire much  brain-racking  thought  to  realize  that 
matter  ever  existed ;  that  "  creation  "  is  eternal ; 
that  a  material,  changeable  universe  shall  ever 
float  on  the  brow  of  a  fathomless  emptiness? 

Some  people  claim  that  matter  is  not  real, 
meaning,  probably,  that  it  is  but  the  garment  of 
a  fundamental,  invisible  universe.  But  I  claim 
that  this  garment  is  as  real  and  eternal  as  ex- 
istence itself.  Visible  appearance  and  invisible 
being  are  two  things  in  one.  A  change  in  the 
garment  is  a  visible  revelation  of  the  fact  that 
a  change  in  the  being  took  place.  Without  this 
garment,  what,  indeed,  should  become  of  prog- 
ress ?  It  is  the  instrument  of  communication  be- 
tween being  and  being.  My  body,  with  its  cen- 
ter of  activity,  the  brain,  allows  me  to  be  aware 
of  the  existence  of  my  being.  When  I  am 
asleep  and  my  brain  is  inactive,  I  am  not  aware 
that  my  me  exists.  Yet  I  do  exist.  I  am  con- 
scious, yes ;  but  I  am  not  conscious  of  being  con- 
scious. My  existence  is  of  no  benefit  whatever 
to  me.  I  cannot  progress;  I  cannot  know;  I 
cannot  develop,  without  that  much  despised 
body  of  mine;  for  this  body  is  instrumental  in 
transmitting  all  sensations  through  the  intel- 
lect to  my  impression-absorbing  me. 

The  matter  of  which  the  human  body  is  com- 
posed  is   equally   indestructible.     Body-matter 


CONJECTURES  ISS 

changes,  after  death,  into  simpler  compositions. 
Nothing  is  lost,  nothing  is  annihilated.  My 
ashes  shall  partly  float  on  the  sun-heated  winds 
of  the  sky ;  they  may  partly  become  the  nourish- 
ing essence  of  the  spring-flower ;  as  a  whole  they 
shall  forever  speak  through  radiant  nature. 

But  what  about  that  strange  something,  the 
personality  or  soul  or  being  of  man?  What 
happens  to  me?  Here  is  a  question  which  we 
are  loath  to  answer,  but  also  loath  to  ignore. 
We  are  loath  to  answer  this  question  because 
we  lack  the  courage.  There  is  public  opinion 
ever  ready  to  ridicule  us !  There  is  religious 
arrogance  ever  ready  to  condemn  us ! 

Very  few  men  dare  speak  out  their  convic- 
tions. Public  belief  and  public  opinion,  no  mat- 
ter how  imperfect  they  may  be,  invariably  check 
the  utterances  of  man,  who  is  indebted  to  no 
other  man  for  his  existence.  What  am  I  that  I 
should  refrain  from  uttering  my  thoughts  — 
because  other  people  have  their  particular 
opinion?  I  am  a  free-born  soul  of  universe, 
and  no  man  can  forbid  me  to  think  as  I  please. 

On  the  other  hand,  we  are  loath  to  ignore 
the  question  of  the  personality's  destiny.  The 
human  mind  does  not  rest  until  it  has  found 
some  kind  of  answer  to  a  life-riddle.  Some 
people  are  easily  satisfied,  and  content  them- 
selves with  vagaries  and  dreams.  Others,  how- 
ever, demand  the  truth,  or  no  answer  whatever. 


184  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

I  frankly  confess  that  I  cannot  swear  to  the 
truth  of  my  answer.  Only  indirectly  is  it  based 
on  observation  and  known  facts.  Directly,  it 
rests  upon  a  foundation  of  conclusions  and  pos- 
sibilities. The  following,  then,  is  a  suggestion 
more  than  a  statement. 

Sleep  is  a  phenomenon  which  might  suggest  an 
idea  of  the  state  of  death.  Contrary  to  a  popu- 
lar statement,  I  would  maintain  that  a  sleeping 
person  is  conscious.  I  am  convinced,  moreover, 
that  his  being  is  receptive  to  certain  impressions. 
The  remarkable  point  of  difference,  however,  be- 
tween a  condition  of  awakeness  and  a  state  of 
sleep  is  that  the  individual  is  aware  of  his  con- 
sciousness when  in  the  first  condition,  and  totally 
unaware  of  his  being  when  asleep. 

In  connection  with  this  subject,  I  will  refer 
the  reader  to  my  chapter,  "  What  is  Truth  ?  " 
I  therein  explained  that  knowledge  is  primarily 
rooted  in  the  person's  being,  and  should  be  more 
fittingly  named  realization.  The  body,  with  its 
central  seat,  the  brain,  is  the  instrument  that 
causes  our  being  to  be  aware  of  itself.  Our  me 
views  itself  through  the  brain  or  intellect,  and 
becomes  aware  of  its  own  existence  and  its  own 
knowledge.  Without  my  body  and  my  intel- 
lect, I  should  not  be  able  to  know  that  I  exist, 
although  individual  existence  might,  indeed,  be 
possible  under  these  circumstances. 


CONJECTURES  1S6 

There  exist  innumerable  instances  where  the 
intellect  proves  to  be  a  mirror  wherein  the  me 
contemplates  itself.  When  I  am  awake,  I  am 
aware  of  the  existence  of  my  being.  When  I 
am  asleep,  I  know  neither  of  my  own  nor  of  any 
other  existence.  My  senses,  the  brain,  and  their 
master,  the  intellect,  have  ceased  to  function. 

It  happens  very  often  indeed  that  a  person's 
ME  is,  partly  at  least,  intellectually  unknown. 
The  ME  is  not  fully  reflected  by  the  intellect. 
The  individual  does  not  know  his  self,  his  knowl- 
edge, his  capacity,  his  ambitions,  or  his  powers. 
He  shall  act  automatically.  He  shall  explain 
his  actions  and  his  viewpoints  by  stating  that 
"  he  had  to  do  this  and  that,"  and  that  "  he 
knows  it  should  be  so,"  until  a  teacher  or  a  book 
stirs  his  intellect,  and  acquaints  him  with  the 
"  why  "  of  his  actions.  He  then  knows  (intel- 
lectually) what  he  knows.  He  is  aware  of  his 
own  knowledge.  He  is  more  fully  aware  of  his 
being.  His  me  is  more  aware  of  itself.  The 
teacher  has  done  no  more  than  clothe  his  reali- 
zation in  a  garb  of  words,  whereby  the  indi- 
vidual received  another  glimpse  of  awareness  of 
self. 

Our  human  body-life,  then,  enables  us  to  be 
aware  of  our  own  existence  and  our  own  self. 
Happily  so!  For  our  progress  is  thus  facili- 
tated.    While  a  flower's  actions  and  progress 


136  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

are  purely  automatic,  ours  are  partly  automatic 
and  partly  moved  by  knowing  and  its  brother, 

WILLING. 

Sleep  might  truly  be  considered  a  temporary 
death.  The  awareness  of  self  is  almost  com- 
pletely gone.  We  are  fully  alive,  fully  con- 
scious, but  we  do  not  know  this,  for  the  instru- 
ment through  which  we  know  does  not  function. 

What  happens  to  me  after  I  shall  have  crossed 
the  boundaries  of  life?  Shall  my  me  be  anni- 
hilated by  nothingness?  Shall  a  something  be- 
come a  nothing?  Who  shall  tell?  It  may  be 
that  the  realms  of  the  unknown  defy  all  laws 
of  existence,  and  destroy  and  annihilate  being, 
which  defiance  of  existing  law  should  cause  many 
a  nothing-hereafter-believer  to  laugh  in  his 
sleeve.  Then,  again,  the  law  of  universe  might 
be  spurned  by  death,  and  man  may  be  aware  of 
his  self,  even  without  his  sense-body  and  his 
brain  and  intellect.  This  possibility  makes  us 
conceive  of  a  real  world,  wherein  "  departed 
souls  "  play  and  suffer,  make  friends  and  en- 
emies, and  do  many  things  imaginable  and  in- 
conceivable. Occasionally  they  would  visit 
their  friends  "  on  earth,"  and  inform  them  that 
all  is  well  and  beautiful  "  on  the  other  side." 
Indeed,  defiance  of  all  law  is  powerful  enough  to 
startle  even  the  unknown  into  a  swoon. 

Our  logic  —  but  who  cares  for  logic!  The 
natural  course  —  but  who  cares  for  the  natural ! 


CONJECTURES  137 

Logic  and  nature  should  make  their  exit  when 
our  anxious  desire  makes  its  appearance.  Even 
if  law  and  logic  should  reveal  a  glimpse  of  the 
truth,  let  us  by  all  means  disown  this  truth  in 
case  it  be  less  rosy  and  less  beautiful  than  our 
anxiety  might  well  expect  it  to  be.  A  Walhalla 
and  beer-drinking  from  our  enemies'  skulls, 
said  the  Teutons,  rather  than  the  silent  but  all- 
knowing  law  of  existence.  A  heaven  with  angels 
and  brooks  and  flowers  rather  than  the  wisely 
guiding  hand  of  the  All,  say  some  men  to-day; 
indeed,  a  hell  rather  than  that ! 

In  the  midst  of  a  withering  fire  of  opinion, 
belief,  dream,  and  anxiety,  one  stands  supported 
by  a  lonely  reassurance  indeed,  which  tells  us 
that  nature  never  yet  erred  —  except  in  the 
opinion  of  man.  And  death,  also,  is  doubtless 
a  part  of  the  scheme.  If  only  this  scheme  em- 
braced our  individuality  beyond  the  limits  of  our 
birth  and  death  1  Could  we  but  rise  in  our  own 
estimation  by  proclaiming  the  eternity  of  our 
being  as  an  indispensable  part  of  all  that  is, 
as  an  indispensable  factor  of  existence  itself! 
Alas!  our  knowledge  does  not  warrant  such 
proclamation.  Our  known  lives  are  hemmed  in 
by  an  unknown  before  and  an  unknown  after. 
Like  bubbles  we  rise  up  from  a  source  of  no- 
where and  everywhere,  to  burst  like  so  many 
utter  insignificances.  Our  lives  are  like  so  many 
threads  —  but    who    cut    the    threads?     Who, 


138  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

indeed,  had  the  infinite  arrogance  to  begin  and 
to  end  in  a  world  of  no-beginning  and  no-end? 

Eternal  change  is  the  characteristic  of  uni- 
verse. Eternity  itself  is  change.  Everything 
changes  into  something  else.  But  not  one  iota 
is  being  added  to  the  whole,  not  one  iota  is  be- 
ing subtracted  therefrom.  Existence  is  one; 
must  forever  be  one.  This  being-one  is  the 
moving  power  of  universe.  A  gain  on  earth  is  a 
loss  on  another  planet ;  a  loss  on  earth  is  a  gain 
in  a  distant  comer  of  the  world.  The  balance 
is  ever  kept.  A  double-handled  pump  is  this 
world:  when  the  left  handle  is  down,  the  right 
handle  is  up;  when  the  latter  moves  down,  the 
first  is  compelled  to  rise.  Existence  and  its 
garment,  visible  universe,  are  eternal,  though 
not  constant. 

In  this  world,  wherein  all  things  forever  make 
the  same  one ;  wherein  all  things  change  without 
changing  the  one;  wherein  all  things  shift  and 
move  and  change,  but  never  perish, —  in  this 
world,  man  came  from  nothing !  ?  In  this  world, 
man  becomes  nothing ! 

Pshaw!     Here  is  my  answer:  he  is,  he  was, 

he  SHALL  BE. 


XII 

MY  LIFE  AND  MY  UNIVERSE 
A  SUMMARY 

I  enjoy  my  own  life  and  my  own  universe. 
Though,  in  reality,  only  one  fathomless  world 
exists,  each  being  carries  in  his  soul  his  own 
particular  universe,  which  is  his  and  his  only; 
for  his  being  has  the  power  to  feel  all  that  is 
according  to  its  own  quality ;  and  as  there  exist 
innumerable  degrees  of  being,  there  exist  mil- 
lions of  different  worlds  to  the  millions  of  souls 
that  people  the  earth. 

AVhen  my  heart  is  sad,  the  star-lit  depths  of 
universal  night  brood  in  silent,  somber  sorrow; 
the  flower  appears  to  droop  under  the  burden  of 
unspoken  grief ;  the  hall-clock  sends  its  penetrat- 
ing ticks  into  the  fathomless  solitude  of  eternity. 

When  I  am  happy,  the  stars   twinkle  more 

brightly.     The  sunshine  is  more  radiant.     The 

birds  twitter  more  joyfully.     All  is  rosy  and 

happy.     I  slap  ray  downhearted  friend  upon  the 

back,  and  tell  him  about  the  beauty  of  existence. 

I  picture  to  him  a  happy  world, —   my  happy 

world,  which  is  happy  because  my  being  is. 
139 


140  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

As  I  am,  thus  is  my  universe.  It  is  a  sad  and 
hopeless  world,  you  say?  I  do  not  agree  with 
you-  I  cannot  agree  with  you.  You  cannot 
convince  me  of  the  truth  of  your  statement. 
Your  being  is  different  from  mine.  Your  soul 
is  viewing  the  world  through  its  own  hues,  and 
so  is  mine.  Your  world  may  have  a  blue  as- 
pect ;  mine  is  white  and  radiant. 

Beautiful  is  my  universe,  infinitely  beautiful. 
To  think  about,  and  to  only  partly  understand, 
the  marvel  of  All,  is  sufficient  to  make  this  world 
a  beautiful  one.  Forbid  me  to  think  and  seek 
the  answers  to  my  questions  —  and  you  have 
forbidden  me  to  live !  Even  the  animal  can 
spend  its  life  in  satisfying  its  physical  wants. 
Man  was  bom  for  greater  things.  Sleeping 
and  eating  are  but  secondary  factors  of  his  life. 
And  if  circumstances  compel  him  to  waste  his  ex- 
istence in  wearisome  efforts  to  gather  food,  he 
either  is  not  aware  of  the  power  of  his  being,  or 
else  his  brothers  do  not  divide  equally  with  him. 

Man  is  bom  to  rule;  to  rule  on  the  very 
throne  of  universe.  He  can,  then,  only  rule 
when  he  knows.  Knowledge  conquers  where 
cannons  can  but  kill.  Knowledge  owns  where 
dollars  can  but  borrow.  Knowledge  rules  where 
gold  and  glitter  can  but  bribe.  Knowledge  is 
the  very  God  of  universe ! 

What  monotony  to  live  on  earth,  understand- 
ing nothing  about  the  nature  of  existing  things. 


MY  LIFE  AND  MY  UNIVERSE      141 

the  causes  of  phenomena  and  life-happenings! 
What  sadness  to  be  ignorant  of  the  marvelous 
power  of  one's  being,  and  to  be  aware  of  only 
an  ability  to  obtain  food  and  pleasure !  Know, 
and  through  the  penetrating  eye  of  knowledge 
behold  a  paradise!  Your  understanding  for- 
bids you  to  see  ugliness.  Everything  is  inter- 
est, marvel,  and  beauty.  Watch  the  crowds  of 
the  busy  city !  Each  individual  carries  a  world 
in  his  heart, —  a  world  of  problems,  sorrow, 
struggle,  mystery,  and  pleasure.  Each  of  his 
actions  is  the  effect  of  a  knowable  cause.  He  is 
an  open  book,  containing  many  beautiful  essays 
on  being  and  soul-development;  perhaps  also 
some  ugly  paragraphs  written  by  ignorance  and 
non-development.  But  you  realize  that  the 
book  itself  is  not  knowingly  responsible  for  this 
ugly  expression;  you  therefore  treat  it  as  lov- 
ingly and  carefully  as  you  would  the  most  sub- 
lime edition  of  creation. 

Indeed,  knowledge  is  the  inspiration  of  man's 
existence.  It  gives  life  to  that  world  of  form 
and  shade  around  me;  it  gives  meaning  to  the 
apparently  automatic,  often  whimsical,  move- 
ments of  so-called  fate.  It  tells  me  that  what- 
ever is,  is  best;  which  statement  no  longer  is  a 
sentiment  of  hopeful  resignation,  but  a  realized 
truth. 

Universe  not  only  impresses  my  consciousness 
with  the  quality  of  beauty  when  I  analyze  it 


142  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

intellectually.  The  direct  impression  which  it 
leaves  in  my  being  is  often  indescribable.  My 
being  is  beauty-mad.  To  describe  what  I  feel 
when  I  behold  and  drink  in  beauty,  is  impossible. 
In  such  instances  I  am  mute.  Words  fail  me, 
for  the  reason  that  the  sensation  is  almost  un- 
limited and  infinite.  I  cannot  fully  grasp  the 
beauty  of  nature  and  universe ;  neither  am  I  able 
to  give  expression  to  my  feelings.  It  is  for  this 
reason  that  all  real  beauty  is  tinged  with  a  soft, 
tender  sadness.  Not  with  the  sadness  of  tears ! 
But  with  that  unnamable,  super-beautiful  sad- 
ness of  unfathomableness.  My  being  yearns  to 
embrace  the  whole,  and  is  unable  to  do  so.  An 
infinite,  tender  longing  possesses  my  soul.  Ex- 
perience it  yourself ;  only  then  shall  you  under- 
stand what  I  now  vainly  try  to  explain. 

This  sadness  of  infinity  hovers  above  the  hori- 
zon when  the  pale  hues  of  the  dawn  disperse  the 
dark  of  night,  when  the  last  rays  of  the  sun  re- 
flect their  blood-color  upon  the  feathery  evening- 
clouds.  It  whispers  through  the  dew-bedecked, 
fragrant  rose,  standing  mute  and  still  in  the 
silver  light  of  moon  and  star.  Its  murmur 
arises  from  the  bosom  of  the  ocean-waters.  Its 
soft  yearning  is  heard  in  the  ripple  of  the  brook 
traversing  the  forest  where  human  voices  do  not 
ring.  And  I  sense  it  above  all,  when  I  stand 
alone  in  the  stillness  and  darkness  of  star-strewn 
immensity. 


MY  LIFE  AND  MY  UNIVERSE      143 

Music  is  but  one  of  the  expressions  of  beauty 
experienced  by  the  soul.  Chopin  was  the  man 
that  knew  how  to  express  infinite  beauty  which 
cannot  be  wholly  grasped  by  the  soul,  in  com- 
position. His  nocturnes  and  waltzes  —  nay,  all 
his  music  —  expresses  tender  longing  and  the 
sadness  of  incomprehensibility.  Each  of  his 
pieces  of  music  leaves  something  unsaid;  sug- 
gests the  existence  of  an  infinite  by  not  uttering 
it.  Each  chord  and  note  is  not  final;  each 
sound-vibration  is  a  beautiful  question,  exciting 
an  unnamable,  tender  longing  in  the  human  soul. 

And  in  this  world  of  marvel  and  beauty  — 
my  world  —  I  live  and  fight  and  struggle  and 
hope.  I  am  ambitious.  I  have  an  aim  in  this 
life.  No  man  can  comfortably  pass  away 
twenty-four  hours  daily  during  a  period  of  sixty 
or  seventy  years  without  having  a  definite  aim 
with  which  to  occupy  his  mind.  When  I  happen 
to  be  lazy,  and  lose  sight  of  the  goal  I  wish  to 
reach,  I  am,  physically  and  mentally,  sick.  I 
become  self-centered.  I  command  too  much 
time  to  devote  my  attention  to  my  many  phys- 
ical ailments.  And  woe  to  the  individual  who 
has  nothing  else  to  do  but  nurse  and  pet  and 
please  himself !  There  exists  a  distinct  type  of 
man  and  woman  who  are  constantly  afflicted  with 
this  or  that  little  trouble.  In  many  instances, 
the  best  cure  for  the  woman  is  to  do  some  wash- 
ing; for  the  man  to  manipulate  pick  and  shovel, 


144  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

—  anything  that  may  divert  their  attention 
from  self  to  something  else. 

No  matter  how  insignificant  your  station  in 
life  may  be,  no  matter  how  humble  your  ambi- 
tions are  —  see  a  goal  ahead !  Try  to  reach 
it !  Each  man  shall  find  a  life-task  fitted  to  the 
capacity  and  quality  of  his  being.  And  the 
genius  who  accomplishes  an  apparently  tre- 
mendous task  does  not  accomplish  more  than 
the  humble  land-owner  who  harvests  his  pota- 
toes. 

My  ambition  is  to  bring  freedom  to  people; 
to  liberate  them  from  the  bondage  of  ignorance 
and  superstition;  to  awaken  their  souls  to  the 
marvelous  intelligence  of  all  that  u,  and  to  the 
creative  power  of  their  own  being.  I  can  ac- 
complish this  in  but  one  manner, —  by  sharing 
my  knowledge  with  them,  and  by  proving 
to  them  that  this  knowledge  has  been  my  in- 
spiration, guiding  power,  and  source  of  suc- 
cessful living. 

I  do  not  know  why  such  an  ambition  is  mine. 
Probably  because  I  am  myself^  It  is  a  neces- 
sary expression  of  my  being.  I  cannot  help  be- 
ing myself.  Consequently,  if  my  ambition  be 
a  worthy  one,  I  do  not  deserve  credit ;  if  it  is  an 
unworthy  one,  I  should  not  be  condemned. 
All  ideas,  ideals,  thoughts,  and  ambitions  are 
necessary  expressions  of  our  being. 

An  aim  without  the  applied  effort  necessary 


MY  LIFE  AND  MY  UNIVERSE      145 

to  reach  it,  is  not  an  aim.  Aim  and  struggle 
walk  hand  in  hand.  Struggle  is  the  developing 
power  of  the  human  soul.  Without  struggle 
and  its  experience,  no  progress  could  be  possible. 
I  am  a  fighter  at  heart.  I  do  not  care  to  deal 
out  blows,  or  use  any  brutal  strength  whatever. 
I  believe  that  the  man  who  resorts  to  guns  and 
the  strength  of  his  fist  is  morally  weak. 

Difficulties  and  obstacles  arouse  the  fighting 
qualities  of  my  being.  When  the  present  is 
hopeless,  the  future  looks  bright.  When  none 
of  my  plans  succeed  and  everything  seems  lost, 
I  am  most  determined  to  conquer.  I  am  anxious 
to  prove  to  myself  that  my  being  has  a  certain 
amount  of  creative  value,  at  least.  I  wish  to 
teach  myself  how  much  I  am  worth  as  a  human 
being.  I  desire  to  repudiate  the  natural  be- 
lief that  man  is  a  mere  puppet  in  the  invisible 
grasp  of  a  whimsical  ruler. 

There  is  no  greater  satisfaction  than  to  con- 
quer in  a  fight.  I  am  always  particularly  glad 
to  shake  hands  with  the  man  who  tells  me  that 
he  has  "  gone  through  hell."  To  survive  a 
mental  hell  is  to  prove  to  yourself  that  you  are 
a  god.  There  are,  naturally,  some  people  who 
do  not  have  the  power  to  rise  above  the  level  of 
misery.  But  those  who  do,  generally  emerge 
from  the  sea  of  soul-fire,  purer,  nobler,  greater, 
stronger. 

I  do  not  fear  trouble  or  sorrow.     I  realize 


146  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

that  a  greater  regard  for  my  self  will  intensify 
my  pain.  Only  when  I  am  unselfish,  when  I 
consider  my  self  as  little  as  possible,  am  I  able 
to  bear  so-called  disappointment  and  sorrow. 
I  would  not  care  to  exchange  some  years  of 
misery  I  have  experienced  for  all  the  treasures 
of  heaven.  They  taught  me  a  million  dollars' 
worth  of  wisdom;  they  proved  to  me  that  one 
can  bear,  persevere,  and  conquer;  yea,  they  re- 
vealed to  me  the  fact  that  man  is  a  god  in  him- 
self, and  can  rule  this  planet  provided  he  fol- 
low the  road  of  truth  to  the  best  of  his  ability. 
I  am  the  slave  of  nothing  —  except  my  work. 
My  work  is  my  very  life.  To  take  it  away 
from  me  is  equal  to  committing  murder.  My 
work  is  the  necessary  expression  of  my  being. 
I  am  compelled  to  do  it.  Well-thinking  people 
desired  that  I  should  employ  myself  according 
to  their  ideas.  I  did  so  for  a  while,  merely  to 
please  them.  The  consequences  were  that  I 
made  a  fool  of  myself  and  that  I  became 
sick,  mentally  and  morally.  Each  individual 
is  guided  by  the  voice  of  his  being.  It 
creates  a  desire  to  follow  a  certain  line  of  work. 
The  individual  should  obey  this  voice.  If  he 
does  not,  he  is  unnatural  and  he  breaks  the  law 
of  his  being.  Fathers  and  mothers  should  give 
their  children  absolute  freedom  to  choose  their 
life-career.     Their  children  are  being  guided  by 


MY  LIFE  AND  MY  UNIVERSE      147 

the  most  powerful  law  in  universe  —  the  law 
of  individual  fate.  This  law  automatically 
chooses  the  conditions  needed  for  the  individual. 
Its  judgment  is  better,  even,  than  that  of 
anxious  fathers  and  friends. 

I  am  nobody's  slave  except,  perhaps,  of  the 
generous,  noble,  broad-minded,  unselfish  man. 
I  refuse  to  pretend  to  be  something  else  than  I 
really  am,  merely  to  please  people  and  win  their 
favor.  I  refuse  to  hide  my  opinions,  when 
asked,  merely  to  agree  meekly  with  theirs.  A 
man  should  be  sincere,  even  in  his  wickedness  and 
ignorance.  I  can  like  a  bad  man  who  does  not 
seek  to  hide  his  bad  qualities.  One  cannot  do 
more  than  do  the  best  he  can,  and  express  him- 
self as  he  really  is.  He  then  lives  up  to  the 
real  qualities  of  his  being.     He  is  natural. 

I  have  some  good  qualities,  and  I  think  very 
little  about  them.  I  have  some  bad  qualities 
which  I  keep  constantly  in  mind,  without  worry- 
ing too  much  about  them,  however.  I  know  the 
law.  I  know  that  these  very  qualities  shall  be 
the  cause  of  some  disagreeable  moments  of 
misery.  When  the  misery  arrives,  I  shall  not 
curse  the  world,  but  patiently  bear  my  pain, 
knowing,  meanwhile,  that  I  am  learning  my  les- 
son; that  I  am  being  purified;  that  I  am  real- 
izing a  truth.  Intellectual  sermons  cannot 
change  my  being.     The  sermons  of  a  hell,  mo- 


148  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

mentarily  dwelling  in  my  soul,  have  the  power 
to  make  me  realize  a  truth,  and  add  a  few  nobler 
qualities  to  my  being. 

I  do  not  have  enemies,  and  I  condemn  no  one. 
My  only  enemy  is  my  self.  If  I  am  not  aware 
of  this  fact,  I  naturally  blame  some  imaginary 
power  for  my  misfortunes.  The  quality  of  my 
self  determines  my  fate.  Whether  I  am  aware 
of  it  or  not  —  I  am  my  own  enemy,  my  own 
sorrow,  my  own  responsibility. 

I  condemn  certain  thoughts  and  ideas  that  do 
not  harmonize  with  the  quality  of  my  being.  I 
am  not  so  foolish  as  to  condemn  the  individual. 
He  may  be  right,  and  I  may  be  wrong.  But 
even  if  I  were  right,  he  is  not  consciously  re- 
sponsible for  holding  his  thoughts.  His  intel- 
lect is  the  servant  of  his  being,  and  it  merely 
translates  into  words  and  symbols  the  unutter- 
able language  of  the  personality.  His  ideas  are 
the  necessary  expressions  of  his  being.  More- 
over, I  should  beware  lest  a  man  nobler  than  1 
am,  condemn  me  for  being  what  I  am.  When 
I  say  that  I  condemn  no  one,  I  will  make  one 
exception.  This  one  exception,  maybe,  proves 
the  imperfection  of  my  being.  I  am  sorry,  but 
I  cannot  help  it.  One  particular  criminal  in  all 
the  world  I  condemn  with  all  my  heart  and  soul. 
He  is  the  man  who,  knowing  better,  teaches 
people  awe-inspiring  "  bunk  "  about  a  personal 
god,  a  heaven,  and  a  hell.     When  a  man  is  sin- 


MY  LITE  AND  MY  UNIVERSE      149 

cere  in  his  teachings,  I  do  not  care  whether  his 
principles  are  perfect  or  not  in  my  opinion. 
He  is  sincere ;  that  is  sufficient.  Probably  there 
exist  people  whose  particular  degrees  of  develop- 
ment are  in  need  of  such  teaching.  All  religions 
are  but  steps  leading  higher  and  higher  to  the 
throne  of  absolute  truth.  Some  people,  having 
a  certain  soul-development,  stand  on  the  lowest 
step  —  orthodoxy;  others  stand  on  a  higher 
step  —  Christian  Science,  for  example ;  others, 
again,  stand  on  the  highest  step:  they  think  for 
themselves. 

No,  I  do  not  care  which  religion  or  philosophy 
a  man  teaches,  as  long  as  he  is  sincere.  But 
there  are  priests,  cardinals,  and  popes  who 
have  studied  too  much,  who  know  too  much 
about  philosophy  —  ancient  and  modem,  who 
realize  too  fully  the  truth  of  everything,  to  con- 
scientiously teach  people  about  Holy  Ghosts  and 
virgins,  and  drench  their  souls  in  a  fantastic 
variety  of  heathenish  nonsense.  How  the  exist- 
ence of  such  "  teachings  "  can  be  possible  in  the 
year  1914»,  is  hopelessly  incomprehensible  to  me. 

The  man  who  undertakes  to  teach  people  of 
the  secret  of  existence,  undertakes  a  great  deal. 
He  takes  the  infinite,  the  eternal,  and  the  in- 
comprehensible in  his  mouth.  He  influences 
people  with  his  thoughts  so  that  their  very  lives 
are  practically  in  his  hands.  He  should  be  ab- 
solutely sincere  in  his  utterances,  especially  be- 


150  CHALLENGING  A  GOD 

cause  his  responsibility  is  a  grave  and  sacred 
one. 

Kings  and  emperors  may  be  relics  belonging 
to  the  past,  but  so  are  popes  and  cardinals. 
Men  who  command  people  how  to  think  and  how 
not  to  think  are  the  worst  enemies  of  truth, 
philosophy,  progress,  and  the  universal  princi- 
ple of  individual  liberty.  Men  who  have  the 
infinite  arrogance  to  clothe  their  utterances  in 
the  garb  of  authority  take  advantage  of  the 
ignorance  of  the  public  and  are  not  much  bet- 
ter than  slaveholders. 

Freedom  is  the  heaven  of  man.  To  be  free 
from  self  —  from  base  desires  and  selfish  motives 
—  is  to  be  free  in  life  and  the  boundless  depths 
of  universe.  My  freedom  in  life  is  the  expres- 
sion of  my  freedom  from  self.  My  self  is  my 
only  limitation,  my  only  devil.  May  I  con- 
quer it,  and  become  the  most  powerful  being  in 
universe !     "  Know  ye  not  that  ye  are  gods  ?  " 


